Depression- Really Struggling- may be triggering

[Spookytookims]

lol @Former-Member   you need to take a breath girl... ok   we can tick some things off that list. 

✅     The lump - that's taken care of Thursday. 

✅      Your Nan - that is understandable grief so that's terrible sadness but it has good reason to be there

✅      Study - you know you need to set time aside to get stuck into it and you are doing something towards that on your study thread now.

✅      Time of month - nothing you can do about that one either I'm afraid

So basically we are left with the card....  now did you throw that card away?  Did you talk to your mother about it or anything?  If you don't want to talk to her about it..  what's your solution with it?  Personally first thing I'd be doing is getting rid of it.  But if it isn't yours to get rid of, then somehow you either have to talk to someone about it or try to put it out of your head because it is throwing up too much stuff that you just don't need or want.

[Former-Member]

Yes breathing is usually good @Spookytookims but it hurts to do that. It feels like someone's crushing my chest and pulling my ribs apart!

[Former-Member]

That lump os scaring the shite out of me. It really is and i cant seem to brush it off
Yes i was getting thrown words by people who have done my course and higher so studying thay way i guess
Bring on menopause!
It was on my desk and i got up anf actually growled and threw it and then walked away but i knew if my younger sister found it i knew so i said look his name sent a card for us and she stashed it away
But i cant shove the thoughts out of my head. I have an early morning tomorrow but im too scared to go to sleep cause of the memories they are going to turn into nightmare like the other night abd i dont want to

[Former-Member]

And lol yourself Spooky. That was amusing to read the first line

[Former-Member]

As well as the above 3 msgs @Spookytookims
I get to go see that horse tonorrow that my heart also aches for. But I think its a trap and its only a matter of time im banned from there again and that would really not be a good thing esp for my MI.
I want to see her though i miss her all the time and everyday and eveytime i see those recent pics of ive got of her and me together makes me fall to the floor and start cryjng like a baby

[Spookytookims]

If you are super worries about the lump you should give your GP a ring @Former-Member   Yeah the nightmares..  they are a complete biatch...  but the card is gone now, and don't give him the power over you to be able to scare you now, he's not worth it.  He's just a piece of cr@p on your shoe, so flick him off and leave him to rot.

try to do some study tomorrow and you'll be okay, and just build a bit each day from that.

You'll need to take some time out for your Nan on tye anniversary,  maybe visit her grave with your pop, sit with him and swap stories about her, cry together with whoever is sharing the day with you.  Smile at some of the things she used to do. You can all share in her memory together.  It will be hard but her memory lives on and that's great for you to know.

I need to get going now.  I have to get up at 3:30 to take my partner to the airport.  So I hope you can have a restful night on osme level.  Remember  he's shite on your shoe, so flick him off, he's stinky and you don't need that stench hanging around. :>)

Bye for now,

The Spooky One  🙂

[Former-Member]

Goodnight @Spookytookims ❤ ❤

Im also stressing about a few other things but you should get to bed

[Former-Member]

Goodmorning @Spookytookims ❤ ❤ ❤

[Spookytookims]

Hey @Former-Member  Hows thing this morning?  You going out to see the horses?  I'm throwing some ideas together for another TI episode..  or trying to 

[Former-Member]

I got 4 hrs sleep yay @Spookytookims
Yeah ive got thr farrier coming very soon

I get to go see that horse today that my heart also aches for. But I think its a trap and its only a matter of time im banned from there again and that would really not be a good thing esp for my MI.
I want to see her though i miss her all the time and everyday and eveytime i see those recent pics of ive got of her and me together makes me fall to the floor and start cryjng like a baby.
But i am going i love that horse
I kinda feel awkward on here at the moment from a thread i created and it was really distressing to othera so i had it deleted
And also i feel so closed off from everyone from all the boundaries feom everything and now when some peoplr comment i feel like i cant comment now or its not my place to be here