Supporting a friend with terminal illness

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member

I need to decide whether the benefits outway the anguish of going through a legal battle of an incident that nearly resulted in me not being here anymore (by someone else). Does that make sense? The physical and mental violence keeps playing over and over in my head (and body) and after what the psychologist said yesterday what I have tried to deny for years became very real. Having real trouble coping with the enormity of it all and deciding what is best for me to get through it. Don't want to continue living this way but not sure I can live with the consequences (in terms of family and others knowing) if I went ahead with prosecution. Never every considered this course of action - maybe because I didn't want to think about it - but now it fills my head and I feel like I'm stuck between a rockand a hard place with no way out and nowhere to go. Does that make any sense?

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member

You still up?

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7

I am still awake

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member

could you make any sense of my previous post - or was it too much?

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7 It makes a lot of sense

I am godsmacked as to what as happen to you- what you are feeling is normal

I wish I could do more to help you.

When do you have your next appointments?

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member

Had my last psychologist app yesterday for a while. She's supposed to be off until 9 Jan but has made an extra app on 29 Jan to see me - she thinks 3 weeks is far too long to wait. She actually drove me to the grade 6 leaver's dinner today because it was held close to where I used to live and I didn't think I could go because I wouldn't cope. I really wanted to say goodbye to the kids because I had taught nearly all of them - some for two years in a row. Still can't believe she took me. 

Seeing my Gp tomorrow and Friday. Then she's on holidays for 3 weeks also. I do have contact numbers for both of them if I really need them in that time - amazing support!

Even though they are that supportive, it doesn't stop my head spinning. I'm finding it very difficult to understand why I am still alive and how I have coped with 'normal' life for so long. I think it's because I have somehow convinced myself that it didn't happen - even though I have always known. It's not until I have been able to find someone  I trust enough to start to open up and relive everything that the extent of the violence has become apparent. Sometimes you just think it is 'life'.

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7 

I honestly don't know what to say in terms of what as happen to you, there are no words.

I truly hope you are able to heal from what as happen to you and that you are able to move forward with your life. That is my hope for you, and you have more light in your life and thus a bright future

I am starting to get a little sleepy now and I will probably try to go to sleep soon-

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member

Thanks for listening. Does make a difference that you are there - especially on such a tough day for you. I really needed someone tonight. Talk tomorrow?  

[Former-Member]

Your welcome @Zoe7

Are okay before I try to get some sleep?

For sure talk tomorrow.

Sleep tight !!! 

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member

Probably won't sleep tonight - too much in my head - bit on edge - but you need sleep so don't want to keep you up xxx