Good Morning!

[Former-Member]

You will be ok @Historylover I get pretty lonely too on occasion. I don't have people in my life so I just fill my days with activity. It used to bother me but not anymore. I prefer my own company. But some days especially when the moon is void of course (inbetween zodiac signs, ie when the moon is empty and is not in a sign) I notice it more. 

I don't like the sound of your previous shrink Historylover. He seemed to have a lot of dictates as to how you chose to live your life. My doctors never told me to read books or not to do crafts etc I'm sorry you wound up with him based on other things you have said.

My previous shrink was nice and done the hard yards in life but tbh I had no faith in her competancy. She used to roll up to Zoom meetings totally out of it. She tried regulating my eating with diabetes which is fair enough but she made an admission she only drank coffee for breakfast so no glucose or carbs in her system and with hurried habits eating on the go. I could not trust in her ability to make decisions.

Unfortunately she seemed to be more consumed with her own problems and could not be present for her patients. The first time I met her all she wanted to do was talk about her own problems.  I let that go through to the goalkeeper but after a while it was a pattern

Anyway I don't see her anymore. She wanted me to see her as I sensed she needed the money from medicare. I was just there for medicine management and then in the end she pronounces that she could not take me off my medication as I'd been on it for 20 years. My GP sent me in there to get me off that med! On the outset I told her that was what I was there for. In the end I discovered she was just using me to bankroll medicare. I dont see her anymore as she could not make proper decisions. I did not trust in her ability to run her own life let alone mine

[ENKELI]

@TAB absolute gold. I'm not worthy!

[TAB]

oh, Wayne's World ref @ENKELI  amazing what you can find about the place..

[Shaz51]

Awww thank you my @tonys 😊 for your friendship 

[Historylover]

Unfortunately having my sports isn't enough, @Former-Member, although it's a good start. Without my family, I am truly lost and have to simply be an onlooker to others' families. It hurts and always will. There's simply not enough to fill my life meaningfully. How I'd love a genuinely nice, actual visitor or two from time to time. I'm just looking for my next big challenge. There always has to be a next project for me. It keeps me going.

As for my ex-psy, I only occasionally think of him these days. He did me immeasurable harm, so I guess he had bigger issues than I did to be so vindictive towards me—a vulnerable woman and patient. Everyone has issues of one sort or another. It's part of the human condition, but to think that such a personality is treating patients without accountability?

He also did me great benefit, which is how I was kept so blinded to his true intent. I personally have no objection to his telling me to put away crafts and put my nose in books, @Former-Member. He gave me a much higher education than I would ever have ventured into without his support, always thinking it beyond me. And he taught me that my opinions count when they are soundly based, and education is essential to truly know what we are talking about. Crafty was my lesser self as I was only ever underachieving and not reaching my potential. He made me to knit jumpers when I was only ever knitting wooden coat hanger covers before. He directed me then onto teaching myself to crochet—just for the sake of challenging myself. He never let me rest on my laurels but always to look for the next challenge. He did give me my better self, but it was at the cost of everything else that is important including my trust of people, and that's sad. Anyway, it is a benefit to know that people at all levels can have hidden agendas. I always have taken people at their word. I now have healthy skepticism while I carefully assess folks (but I still get bitten!)

Anyway, today is another day and I'm not sure what to do with it yet. 29 degrees forecast. Perhaps I'll go for a walk... Have a good day.

[Glisten]

Party on @TAB  Excellent! 👍🏼👍🏼

G

[Glisten]

@tonys Huck, a quick note on your door as I drive by.

Yesterday I lathed my first pen 🖊️ Resin blank. Because Resin has no fibres, cracks or knots it’s easier to learn on, until I develop my skills and technique.

About 60 should get my hand in LOL

G

 

[Historylover]

Wow, @Glisten!

[Former-Member]

I can certainly understand that @Historylover I don't really have a family as such. It would be nice to know I had someone in my corner.  I think family is everything but when you have no family or people who genuinely care it makes it all the more raw and painful.  Somehow I seemed to get lost in the busy traffic of other peoples lives, being easily overlooked. 

I often wondered if it was due to being the middle child in the family. In chinese geneology they say the middle child always misses out on the interest and company of others. I have noticed this in other middle children who were adults. I knew a naturopath who mentioned this geneology phenomenon to me once and she told me she always made extra effort to know middle adult children. I do the same with other middle born adults I have met in the past

I have an older sister by my parents who was relinquished and adopted out at birth and I came next, then my brother so I was the middle in line technically even though my sister was relinquished.  When I look at it realistically however I know most families resemble more of a battlefield than a family. I think with 3 in 5 with spousal abuse and the levels of divorce and family conflict it doesn't make families look like a cozy idea.

They resemble more of a war-zone these suburban families yet we long for the notion that we can have a beautiful nest filled with loving and considerate people in it. Try not and get upset over it, I know it hurts. I just look at the statistics though. Both your family and mine are just another set of failed statistics. I found out that my brother has a Mars/Pluto transit where everyone he has ever mistreated, abused and used are out to get him. It does not surprise me as he has a violent and abusive temperament. He is my only living family left.

My ex partner came from a beautiful family. The father was a 7th Day Adventist Minister and the mother a ministers wife and there were like 6 children and nothing seemed to go wrong with anyones lives in that family apart from a guillotine accident at a printing station with one of his brothers. My sister-in-law said it was picket fences with her family of origin. They were poor but it was a loving family.  I preferred having xmases with my in-laws compared to my own family when they were alive. It was healthy compared to my own family.  

Anyway I hope you enjoy things today. We have a new local library that was opened in January. It is easy to get to by bus. I'm looking forward to checking it out soon. Enjoy your walk, love. I'm in Melbourne too and its going to be hot again. I'm looking forward to cooler weather. I have just been tossing out old clothes that a recycle company can re-manufacture into cleaning rags. Had been meaning to get onto it. 

[Historylover]

There's a lot to be said for birth position, @Former-Member. I'm the youngest of 3 by 8 and 10 years, and it seems that in every group setting where I enjoy anything like a comfortable position, I am always considerably younger. My ex-psy was the same age as the younger of my brothers which added to my feeling of 'psychological comfort' with him. Unfortunately, none of my birth family fared better in the game of life than me. Nothing I can do about it. Wish I could. I tried.

I agree that there doesn't seem to be much familial, marital success in our society. Perhaps loneliness isn't all bad. Have a good day. I intend to although it will be quiet. Tomorrow will be a little different. Cheers.