General chit chat

[Mazarita]

Niqua  

That image of you in your dressing gown, slippers and tied up dreads is friendly and not at all bothersome to me. Aubergine sounds like such a lovely colour for a dressing gown. Mine (that I'm still wearing after 4pm) is fawn, fluffy, and very warm, long and cosy. I bought it some years ago on ebay from England. No cold gets through this thing. Just right when you rarely use a heater in winter. 

Sorry you had to go through that with that partner when you were younger, absolutely awful. Hugs. 

I truly get the picture of the wildlife at your place. You don't live alone at all! You've got dogs and many other creatures around. I'm sure they would be better company than humans in some ways!

So glad the forum has turned out to be such an addition to your life. As much as I have appreciated the forum over the past couple of years, I'd still have to say that adventures in real life are for me more important. But the forum is a great place for me to share those adventures, which makes them all the more meaningful. Yep, the forum rocks.

It makes me very happy to know that you have charged the camera and are planning to take it out again. 

Well the walk was only 2kms because we got a lift home. 4kms is about the outer limit of what my legs would do these days, and wouldn't manage it in one go. But I am always working to extend that, whenever I am not slumping. A few years ago I could barely make it from the entrance to the beach to the shoreline. So things have improved a lot, even despite arthritis and other muscular-skeletal problems. I'm a bit proud of myself for that. 

It is a pity I missed the arty event where I was going to meet up with my new collaborator. The main problem was that C's car had to go in for service yesterday and it turned out they had to keep it overnight, so no viable transport to the venue (which is not public transport accessible). Also the friend from Cairns only visits occasionally and was only here last night. The new collaborator and I have agreed to meet when he is passing this way on his fairly regular visits to Brisbane. He lives about 2 hours from here. And, in the meantime, we may get onto starting a new collaboration over the net and get things moving that way, even before we meet in person.

Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit flat. I also read your poem in the other thread and wondered if your mood had taken a further dive. Either way, the dishes and bed being done is great. Hugs for the difficult feelings you might be having today. 

Maybe see you at Friday Feast tonight!  

@Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Good night Mazy @Mazarita🙂

Thank you for your wonderful mesage 🙂

I am a little down. I think I need to tone down my obsession with this Forum a little.

Hope you've had a good day.

Sleep well and peace be with you

[Mazarita]

Goodnight Niqua, hope you sleep well and wake up with a fresh new mood tomorrow. 

So many of us get to a point where we question our engagement with the forum, especially those of us who spend time here every day. It's wise to balance out real life with forum life where possible. But don't go too far away. Too many people here would miss you now! 

I'm about to head off to bed now too. Hugs and love streaming towards you. 

@Former-Member

[Owlunar]

Hi Maz and Niqua

Dressing gown days - yes - I have them - I have had the filters cleaned on my A/C and the air is blowing much warmer now - but for a few days it was really cold outside and hence inside as well and I had an attachment to my dressing gown that is blue. mid-length and fluffy

It seems to need washing a lot - maybe the cause is wearing it over my clothes sometimes - or it's the fabric - who knows - but it washes well.

I'm sorry your missed that arty event and your meeting because of transport problems - I use taxis a lot and ah yeah - I meet a wide variety of people - and thinking about the domestic people, the people who assist me with shopping, taxi drivers and the people at my clinic and the shops and of course - my companion cat - I have a wide variety of people to talk to in the course of the week and the cat is a full-time muttermuttermutter friend who likes me to muttermuttermutter back again

The on-line life - that fills in the corners - yesterday I had trouble getting my head around some of the longer messages here - those days I let go by - I am comfortable with my own company though - and most of the time I would rather read and write here than watch TV which can be pretty indifferet at times

This morning - and there is not much left - I have to my phone bill - and get some provisions to make my own whole-meal, fruit laden and oaten cookies - I couldn't find the brand I wanted in the supermarket yesterday but I know they are available in my local foodways - I hope to do that this afternoon

Dec

@Mazarita@Former-Member

[Mazarita]

Hi Dec,

Glad to hear your a/c has been fixed now. It sounds like you, me and Niqua should get together for a fluffy dressing gown and slippers day, since we kind of match in that way, with a nice difference of colours: aubergine, fawn and blue. 

Great that you get to interract with a wide variety of people, and a companion cat, in your life. I'm trying to imagine the cat going muttermuttermutter. I can imagine the human variety pretty easily because I do it myself. Sounds like you have a special cat to carry on conversation with you like that. 

I'm with you on preferring to be online than watching TV, with the forum my number one social site. It's the only place online where I feel I can really be myself and talk about things that really matter to me.

The cookies you are planning to make sound delicious and nutritious. Hope the rest of the day goes really well for you. 

@Owlunar, @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Hello Mazy, Dec, Cheerbear, Claire, Faith-and-Hope, Shaz and Bella

I'm sorry if I make anyone feel awkward because I'm strange. I think in real life you can't say the word 'love' unless your family or intimately involved with a person. It seems the word love equates to sex in most peoples minds. I think I felt like I 'got away' with it here, that people here understood that saying I liked them didn't express how strong a feeling I had. I felt like a big bubble inside me, expanding and rising; glowing because it was so full of joy. Loneliness is a dark and empty place for me, I don't believe I choose it, I feel like I don't have a choice. Here I felt I could be myself, express how I felt without judgement, because nobody really knows me. Nobody really knows me in real life either, but that just feels like a brick wall, imprisoning what postivity I have left, I built the walls myself to try and conserve those good feelings - and now I'm trapped. I guess I have trouble controlling my emotions, the only way I know how is to avoid. This post probably isn't a good way of doing that, but the bubble is turning into pressure,  if I don't release a little it might explode, implode, make a mess - I selfishly don't want to be a mess. I want to be loved.

Love you all

@Mazarita @Owlunar @Shaz51 @CheerBear @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

[Faith-and-Hope]

Love you back @Former-Member ..... 🤗❤️

[outlander]

Niqua
Your not leaving are you. ..? I really hope not.



You dont make me feel akward at all. Your unique yes but that isnt a bad thing. Wouldn't it be a boring world if we were all the same.
Love is alot more than just sex and to me it doesnt just equate to that.
Its those feelings of happiness and joy when speaking to those particular people or community such as here, and being comfortable enough to be able to share your thoughts and emotions without judgement. To be able to celebrate the good things in life and be there for you for the bad and support you.


You say your tapped now, your not trapped on here. You can be who you are and without that judgement. You have told me many things about your past but i never hold that against you, in a way it makes you who you are and i wouldnt want to change that.

Youve helped me through many many tough spots including drs tests and invasive tests. Yep i still remember you being there holding my hand.

As for life form, its hard to find people that you can connect with because you never know if they will use information against you. You have put your walls up because of the things you have been through.

Im not sure how you can release some of the pressures that you feel. Maybe you could take up an interest group in the real world... you dont have to go into your past. Just stick with the present and be yourself.
Im sorry im not much help here and ive probably provided the completely the wrong answer

you need support and im on your side. Love exists in a more rare form and we call that friendship.
I believe with have that. Your not being selfish at all.
I love you too Niqua and thats with sincere meaning. I love you!
@Former-Member

[Mazarita]

Hi Niqua, sending love, hugs, smiles, nods and every good vibe I can think of. I wonder what has made you feel this way. I hope it's nothing I've said or done. I so appreciate your friendship here and would miss you mightily if you went too far away. I think many of us on this site identify as strange, including me. Has someone said something to you that suggested there was something wrong with your love?

It's a unique relationship between strangers that can be developed on this site. How beautiful that you feel that joy and exuberance inside and want to express it. I feel sorry for the brick wall and imprisoned feelings in your real life, but understand why you have isolated to such an extent. I don't see you as a mess. I see you as a highly intelligent, creative and warm person who, like so many of us on this site, gets wobbly from time to time and/or struggles with feelings arising from past experiences and/or biochemical shifts. Like so many of us. That's when we are here to help you through it. I hope getting these reassuring messages helps.

Do you have anything planned for today? I have nothing but would like to get myself out for a bit of a walk if possible. Again, I'm sitting here in my trusty fluffy dressing gown and fluffy slippers, haven't really got started with the day yet. Was up all night, getting productive things done on my creative projects, wandering the web finding interesting things to read, and chatting here.

Hope to hear more from you when you are ready to chat more. Hugs again dear friend and more love to you. 

@Former-Member

[CheerBear]

Hey @Former-Member. Definitely no awkwardness here either and I don't think you're any stanger than any other person, including me. We're all different and strange in our own ways 🙂

Love is such a complex, interesting, concept. I haven't associated love with sex for a long time, if ever. I am much more comfortable with love exisiting in the non-sexual relationships that I have/have had in my life, than in the others.

I can understand how 'like' doesn't seem to adequately express the intimacy and connection that can happen between people who accept each other for who they are, share 'real' moments with each other, can be vulnerable and raw with each other, spend time together, laugh and cry with and encourage each other etc. like we can find here. I love people here, no doubt about it. It can feel funny to think that I 'love' people who I wouldn't know if I bumped into on the street, and who are 'strangers' in that sense. When I think about it, I don't consiser people here to be strangers though. I think we have a relationship (friendship/connection etc) that is non-traditional, but not any less valid or real than more traditional relationships.

That's just my take on it all. I love that we have the freedom to have our own perspectives and attitudes about what happens here, as well.

Love you Niqua, for you.

X