Far and Away

[Faith-and-Hope]

How did you go today @Zoe7 ?

How are you @Snowie ?

How is anyone else around ?

I am still on the couch, but I have a full-on day tomorrow, and have to start preparing sometime soon.  I hope most of it is ready to go from last year, but I won't know until I get up and look.

[Zoe7]

@Snowie @Shaz51 

Struggled through today @Faith-and-Hope Still not well - no energy and very achy but made it through. Finished the ipad stand when I got home and had the dinner I prepared last night - have been on the couch since and won't be far off bed. All organised for tomorrow and can leave the preparation for Wednesday until tomorrow in my non-contact time. Doing what I can when I can presently ...a day at a time.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Well done @Zoe7 ❣️  That's another day sorted.  I am sorry it has left you so exhausted, but I am also glad to hear that you have got tomorrow's organisation under control.

[Zoe7]

I wouldn't have went today if I had any leave left @Faith-and-Hope I can apply for extra leave but am waiting to find out what is going to happen after my specialist appointment next week - may need it after that  

I saw you are very tired still too Hon - please look after yourself too 💕 How is it starting back at uni? Have you found any motivation yet or are you still working your way back in?

[Faith-and-Hope]

Today's work was all online @Zoe7, and it was okay .... interesting, and I coped with it okay.  Late afternoon I had an energy slump which has lasted into the evening.

I have to sort out materials to take in for a life drawing workshop tomorrow, which I want to be excited about, but I am feeling too tired.  I am hoping my kit is still together from last semester last year, but I have to work out what I have done with it amongst all my clean up across the holidays .... 😏.  

Also have to work out what I am going to wear and set an alarm.  D2 needs a carer tomorrow, so it's going to be all go when I get up, and I have some reading to do for class tomorrow, which I have printed off, because it needs to go into my visual diary anyway, so I will head to bed now and start on that ..... if I can stay awake.  At least if I do fall asleep it will probably mean I will wake up early and can finish reading it then.

I don't feel like moving from the couch, but have to just put one foot in front of the other and tick these boxes to get to bed.

I think this is fatigue is a combination of emotional backwash coupled with some anxiety ..... and probably not sleeping well.  My walking has increased again, so that's probably got something to do with it too.

[Sans911]

@Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 👋👋

I've started my uni studies this week too. I've met our unit coordinator via a video tutorial. Because it's an elective unit she only has 9 students. She seems very approachable & helpful.

I looked at my first module today, but I also have an assignment due in one week! Eek! It's only small, however, my head is absolutely spinning with concepts and ideas and I found it difficult to concentrate on the module and readings as I was getting carried away researching for the assignment. I've put everything away until tomorrow because it just got all too much.

Im sorry to hear of your fatigue and insomnia. It certainly does sound like everythingiis catching up with you. I'm hoping that in time life for you (and all of us) will be simpler.

[Zoe7]

@Faith-and-Hope I have no doubt the fatigue is predominantly due to all the emotional stress you have been under for so long Hon. We keep going (because we have to) and then when there is a break in the storm we fall apart  I know that storm is still not passed yet for you but being in your little s2bx-is-not-in-the-country bubble allows for some respite - and along with that your body relaxes a bit and all that built up energy you have had to use can finally take a rest and fatigue (both emotionally and physically) sets in. Just get through each day as it comes for now and along the way allw yourself to feel that little bit of freedom you have 

[Zoe7]

@Sans911 I am so glad to hear you are back at uni Hon  Take it one step at a time, do wat you need but also allow yourself to enjoy the process. So glad your unit co-ordinator seems approachable - and good it is only a small group so you can connect with each other and your co-ordinator has time for everyone.

I hope you find some sense of accomplishment and purpose doing this course - it is a great thing you are doing for yourself so give youself credit for that too Hon 

[Faith-and-Hope]

^^^ love how @Zoe7 said it @Sans911.  I am rapt that youre back at studies too.

@Zoe7 I hadn't joined the dots with that :face_with_rolling_eyes: ..... but you're probably right - that's the "biggie" and makes so much sense now that you have voiced it.

Most of my kit was together, and I might stick with that this week and fill it in a bit more for next week across the week ✔️

Have organised my clothes too, and work boots, that are too heavy to walk to uni in, so they are in the trolley and I have my sneakers ready.  It looks like it's going to be cold here tomorrow, but it heats up in the studios, so layers are it.

Heading off now to try to get that reading done ..... 🤞🥱

[Sans911]

Thank you @Zoe7 for your kind words. As you always do.

I've not actually seen or spoken with any other post grad students at all until now. There were video tutorials & discussions but they clashed with other things I was doing on that day.

I'm still very unsure if I'm doing anything worthwhile with this study. I'm not even sure what my purpose is for it yet, except I have wanted to at least do some post grad study for a very long time. And this seemed to be the most sensible thing to do. Of course, my grand scheme was to do a Masters (who was I kidding right?!)

All the uncertainty around my health though leaves me wondering if, when, how and what is my purpose in life anymore in regard to the workforce. I'm trying not to even entertain those thoughts at the moment.