Christian Chat

[DownMoreThanUp]

@ENKELI @AlwaysMyself @AuntGlow @Realness @heartathome 

It is 1:50am i slept 3 hours plus. i awoke very depressed.  It feels like i literally lost my life and best  end it for i never going to get anywhere.  This incredible deep hollow in my chest as if Jesus has taken all my self esteem and sense of good away. i feel like someone hardly worthy to look upon. Like i'm just dirt and everyone just hates me and NO one will ever come around again.

Still no voices tho. So such is greatest. It feels like i been the biggest liar in the world and everyone will hate me the sick  person i am, they have already ALWAYS done so. With my wife gone ALL seems gone. i literally gave my life away but Jesus does not seem to be with me just a hollow empty heart depressed as. The Spirit asked my what  i thought about wearing sackcloth. i told Him i hate goats hair. He smiled my mission to be.....

It feels like an impossible task that i MUST do. STOP THIS! DO THAT! And the sense that all is lost why even bother. 10 days of this The Spirit warned me. That's if you stay in the truth looking at Jesus and letting Him rebuild your feeling and thinking world from where you have been. Good to be able to hear the Spirit otherwise i would have despaired my current moments with only one wish DIE!!!

Without my wife i have nothing to live for, she wont come back i seem to be convinced, the kids are already gone, i might as well end it. Her is the glory anyhow.

My Church is presented as the place that really F ..ed me up, after mum and dad, and my sexual assault, and NEVER ever to even come near a Church door again. No one likes me anyhow. It was only ever my wife who brought people around if they came at all. Feeling the years of loneliness i suffered crushing down on my dislike of myself

Not easy loosing my life getting this life present as my future.

it takes all the faith i can muster to ignore my own despair of the good i lost dying the voices and hallucinations. And the total lack of love or respect fellow believers have shown me over the years. 

A lot of swear words bubbling out of my chest making my life seem like an utter waste of time. Rather scary to be honest. Although i know Jesus is with me He seems to be along with those who look down on me like my brothers and sisters have done all these years.

FEAR FEAR FEAR raining down on me and surrounding me like the old days. Mockingly looking on. So glad those voices are dead at the moment, times like these used to be hellish.

The voices threaten their dark memory, like a spook ready to jump me, but i hear nothing. 

To be honest at the moment i just want to die. MUCH EASIER as the task ahead is made out be utterly impossible. i moan the sorrow loosing all my good life as my feeling world in just a few hours it feels like i lost EVERYTHING!

Have to keep my eye on the word mow for otherwise i'm going to get VERY lost today.

This song describes my reality best. Hr sums it up

i rap my arms around my Lord and just cry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8rjSKJPHBg&list=RDW8rjSKJPHBg&start_radio=1

[Tyga-Dee]

Hi @DownMoreThanUp, 

It sounds like you are going through a really difficult night, thinking about the past and people you have lost. It takes a lot of strength and courage to share these struggles and those deep feelings. Can I check if you are able to stay safe? 

I really like the song you have shared - So powerful! Do you have thoughts on things you can do today to help you stay safe?

[DownMoreThanUp]

@Tyga-Dee to be honest i only want to die at the moment. Get rid of myself wanting NOT to be here. Where i had not won Victory yet in my life i live now. Talk about being left behind....

@ENKELI @AlwaysMyself @AuntGlow @Realness @heartathome  @Appleblossom 

i wail my life.... (swearing bubbling up out of my heart like a ugly ooze)

clinging to Jesus with all i got. i have no other hope for glory, i'm just a worm.

Yes that is a good song. i love it

this one too this my survival is JESUS people!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGorjBVag0I&list=RDNGorjBVag0I&start_radio=1

[Tyga-Dee]

Hi @DownMoreThanUp

I can only imagine this struggle and to just get through this moment of feeling like, not wanting to be here. You are showing some great strength here. 

I have sent you an email.  

[Shaz51]

@DownMoreThanUp , the lord tells us he is always with us,  he will never leave us 

Sitting with you my friend 🧡 and you still have your children 

Thinking of you lots am so glad you are here with us 

@Tyga-Dee 

[DownMoreThanUp]

@Tyga-Dee SAFE AS!

@ENKELI @AlwaysMyself @AuntGlow @Realness @WHOLEWORLD

My story is amazing at the moment friends i cannot even explain properly where i am in my body or out of my body i seem to be one with existence in Him.

i'm depressed as but i live every dream or prophecy i have ever been given in Heaven celebrating Jesus with us all. How can i begin to explain what it is like

DOWN DEEP?

Jesus in His MOST Holy LOvE is THERE! When He loves me i think i'm going to die the love of it in ecstasy. He is my REDEEMER!

Heaven is amazing guys!

But i have also much left life in self behind, my whole life down here is KAPUT - hence the sackcloth to this - where i did not repent God's voice of love, was still selfish, or lived a lie, i have to do it again until only truth is spoken. Living The Word of God is The Truth of ALL existence

( For those interested how Jesus did this fo me begin by reading DANIEL 13 & 14 silly reformers took it out, their loss i suppose. It proved to be EXTREMELY HELP FULL TO ME SPIRITUALLY.

if any one likes to know about it - i will ask Jesus for you to let me explain it how He lived it. (He says the same as you😂))

So that works out good i can share a non biblical tale as God's Word to me MAYBE NOT YOU. The Roman.Catholic do have these bible books included. VERY CLEVER OF JESUS - ARE THEY Catholic GOING TO NEED THEM. (WE ALL DO THO, but some really freaky stuff going on here i know to be true. Yet these words will help them understand what happened to them in their faith and they can rejoice again. i agonized this for years and then Jesus showed me before 2010 some time i think through these bible books) Our truths are missing Revelation 21 down here, Jesus build me in that 'dimension' in my consciousness with Him even living here in my desolation.

Is't He amazing? Heaven on earth is flabbergasting and urges med on to get my family back home. Undo all my sins against them and visit everyone Upstairs together. i'm are having such a great party  typing this with them all but i'm hardly able to walk from depression. How you think about that?

Life with Jesus is always so interesting. (Just went down a black hole to pick some thing up🤣)

i love living Revelation for real from uncountable dimensions. Oh Jesus lovers what HE HAS IN STORE FOR US LITERALLY BLOWS MY MIND and I LIVING HIM.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egEpsrPY6rQ&list=RDegEpsrPY6rQ&start_radio=1

[DownMoreThanUp]

@Shaz51 @Tyga-Dee @ENKELI @AlwaysMyself @AuntGlow 

It is always an incredible experience to meet Jesus down low as you life in His. i might as well stop typing....

love on guys. And seek truth. No doctrine is true. Jesus. The is to live the O.T spiritually and in TRUTH - One with God truthfully not theoretically or theologically - only in JESUS can we do this.

Jesus hates all those kind of words obscuring understanding. He reckons.

Love one another as I have loved you - such an awesome command don't you guys reckon?

(try for some more sleep)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJSik6ejkr0&list=RDeJSik6ejkr0&start_radio=1

[Realness]

Hi @heartathome , @DownMoreThanUp , @Appleblossom , @ENKELI , @tyme , @AlwaysMyself , @Shaz51 , @MissGremlin , @REDLINEZ750 ,

Acts 15

- Jewish believers from Judea come to Antioch insisting the Gentile believers are circumcised.

- Paul and Barnabas protest.

- Paul and Barnabas go to Jerusalem to discuss the problem with the apostles and church leaders.

- The apostles and elders meet to consider the matter.

- After much debate Peter says in early days God gave the Holy Spirit to Gentiles. Why are you putting a yoke on them? "On the contrary, we believe that we are saved through the grace of the Lord Jesus in the same way they are."

- Meeting silent as they listen to Barnabas and Saul describe all the signs and wonders God has done through them among the Gentiles.

- James - Words of the prophets agree with Gentiles being welcome to God's grace. We should not put obstacles for the Gentiles who turn to God.

- James - We should write to them to abstain from things polluted by idols, sexual immorality, eating anything that has been strangled, and from blood.

- Judas (Barsabbas), Silas, Paul and Barnabas deliver the letter to Antioch.

- Antioch church rejoices at letter.

- Judas and Silas strengthen the church with their teaching.

- Paul and Barnabas remain at Antioch - teaching and proclaiming the word of the Lord.

- Paul suggests to Barnabas that they revisit the brothers and sisters in each town they preached the word.

- Barnabas wants to take John Mark.

- Paul say no because John Mark deserted them mid-mission previously.

- Sharp disagreement. They part company.

- Barnabas takes John Mark to Cyprus.

- Paul chooses Silas to go with him to Syria and Cilicia.

The importance of not putting unnecessary obstacles in the way of people turning to God.

Also, the disagreement between Paul and Barnabas. Both stayed on mission despite the disagreement.

[Realness]

Hi @DownMoreThanUp ,

Were you able to get back to sleep? How are things today?

You and your beautiful wife are still in my thoughts and prayers.

[DownMoreThanUp]

@Realness Thank you caring. We are all good and things are improving fast by the looks of. People ought to come around some time today. Both me and my wife are hurting this badly but we are in touch. 

@Shaz51 @Tyga-Dee @ENKELI @AlwaysMyself @Appleblossom @heartathome @MissGremlin @Shaz51 

For me the issue is THE NEED to get this all out and fixed for EVERYONE not just myself. My heart desire is that Jesus comes back inside of EVERYONE for He is our lives and lies steal Him from us. literally digging us a grave and prepared our doom afterwards. (many souls down there the agony of death for anyone who does not know Jesus, also within our hearts. We need a complete make over inside out and upside down Scripture confirms my words in me.

So first we have to see the son of lawlessness inside our hearts, all sin/loveless lies, ruling human hearts its destination hell. This means if we find ourselves in stuck as evil, and we FEAR God, then we best lay down our lives in wrong, until only His loving grace rules there not in our own power but God's love through GRACE - turning our lives holy and purely loving and true on the INSIDE. That is ALL that matters.

Salvation has nothing to do with the outside, such rots, but only the inside Agreed?

For only God's grace can do what corrupted flesh cannot do, and God's grace only comes knowing Jesus/The Truth/The Words Love speaks to us all Alive within.

Don't you reckon guys? Can any of us take away one transgression in our own might? i know i tried for years suffering misery down there. Still when i decided i call it quiets He called me, time and again, For the liar had me leave grace and had me labour HARDEST for my good life's existence, turning into my hell always left behind their wicked deeds in me overcome by them.

i love Jesus so much finding Him down here. He is my Rock and Redeemer and will get than liar into hell and me, us all, out!

Hallelujah!

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5GFOD1TerU&list=RDO5GFOD1TerU&start_radio=1

(i NEED SLEEP REALLY BUT WE ARE WORKING ON IT. Good things come bloody slow down here!😰)