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Re: Ceelllllll-e-brate good times! A place to celebrate ourselves and eachother :)

cute about the meeting of your husband !
Was he aware of MI
How did he react ?

Um ......

You know when you were young was your parents confused ?

This fundamentally bad thing you had .... Do you see other young women going through that ?

What would you say to someone going through the same issues as you did and they were 20 years old ?

I have upped my work to ..... Wait for it now 2 hours per week.
Have you discovered alli express ?



Re: Ceelllllll-e-brate good times! A place to celebrate ourselves and eachother :)

I'd like to clebrate @Jamc for getting to the gym and working out on their own! HUGE achievement and well done!

Re: Ceelllllll-e-brate good times! A place to celebrate ourselves and eachother :)

Hey @PeppiPatty ,

 

I came out about my various mental issues to my husband a bit at a time - probably the anxiety stuff and SH stuff came up first (have scars that make that pretty obvious), and the rest was related more as 'history'. He is a stupendously accepting and non-judgemental person. Baically he like me and if part of that was a few labels and official diagnoses then he was fine with that. He has been worried about me at times, and is much happier when I am doing well and functioning well. We have had a couple of snitty bits when he has maybe not understood how seriously some very 'minor' things affect me, but usually once we get the communication happening we are good again.

 

I honestly have no insight into whether or not my parents were confused by my behaviour as a young child. Frankly my home was pretty damn dysfuntional and I think it regiostered more as frustration with me than confusion. As I have said said, I very much felt that it was my fault that my bahaviour wasn't 'better' eg 'normal' and I used to drive my mum completely up the wall. Always felt so guilty about that because her life was very hard and I felt like an extra burden because no matter how hard I tried I just kept doing it all wrong. I should add she did not push this idea onto me.

Fundamental Badness - to tell the truth I have only ever come across one other person who I have known has this same issue, and he is a guy. It would not at all surprise me to learn other young women experience the same thing - ED in particular seems to be associated with extreme self loathing, but I never knew of it. Not the most 'aware' person when it came to my peers. I do know that at my particualr highschool I had a group of about 10 female friends and every single one of us had been sexually abused by family members - so again, I would not be at all surprisedif there was a lot of belief about being bad going on too.

 

What would I say to a 20 year old going through the same stuff?

Get professional help! It does not mean you are weak, or flawed or failing or in any way LESS. You do NOT have to do this on your own to prove anything - there is no prize for doing it alone, recovery does not taste sweeter for getting there without help, it just takes longer!

You are WORTHY of getting assistance, because EEVRYONE is worthy of asking for help - there is no minmum standard or cut off that you are failing to meet. Get help, it saves so much goddamn time!  

Seriously. Even if you get there on your own it takes so much time and energy that you could be spending on stuff that makes life enjoyable and worth living. Why use all of your internal resources struggling to get through the day when you can outsource some of the effort and have some of your own energy left over for a hobby or a passion that brings you to life?  

Think of a half dozen things that you once loved that have fallen by the wayside because your MI is robbing you of your energy.... you can have those back, and more, but not if you insist on shouldering the burden alone.

Get help. Get help from anywhere and everywhere you can.

USE the help, work with it, be compliant, be observant, take an active part in your recovery, pay attention to what works and what doesn't, keep records of your results, get independant observations too, use all the information available to guide your recovery process in collaboration with professional help and GET YOUR LIFE BACK!!!  

 

I'd say something along those lines.

 

Hey congrats on upping your hours at work - I bet once your med regimen settles in and you stabilise a bit that you are going to feel so much better.

 

I have used alliexpress on ocassion - mostly for buying cheap knock off DVDs šŸ™‚

Re: Ceelllllll-e-brate good times! A place to celebrate ourselves and eachother :)

@PeppiPatty I wrote a lovely reply on what NLP was, which then the internet ate. Would love to know what triggers an Auto-save on this site as it seems it never saves things that I unsuccessfully submit.

 

Anyhow I can't be bothered writing it all out again so instead I have cut and pasted the contnts of the About NLP page of my friend's website (I was going to link it but saw that it allows comments which would have meant it got moderated anyhow). He trains NLP and has a lovely frank way of talking about things.

 

"What the hell is NLP?

 


First of all, NLP is an abbreviation of neurolinguistic programming - which is a terrible, terrible name for this stuff.  It leads people to think all manner of bizarre things, and attracts perfectly fair criticism from neuropsychologists and the like.

The name seemed like a good idea in the mid 1970s when the guys who created the field needed a name for it, and now after 30+ years we're pretty much stuck with it.


Such is life.

 

So what is it, exactly?  What's it all about?

 

Well ... in a nutshell:

 

NLP is a way of turning any seemingly 'natural talent' into a teachable skill.

When we think of someone as gifted or talented in some way, it's because there's something that person does extraordinarily well.  They can do something that other people can't - or that other people can't do as well, as easily or as quickly.

Maybe that person has a gift for selling life insurance, or getting small children to eat vegetables, or playing poker.  Maybe it's drawing caricatures, coping with grief, remembering names, or resolving conflicts between extremely stubborn people.

Whatever it is, most of the time people with extraordinary talents are unaware of the key differences in their thinking and behaviour that form the basis of that talent.  Those key differences are typically things they do instinctively, intuitively or unconsciously - mental and behavioural patterns that are outside of their own conscious awareness.

NLP is a methodology for extracting and reproducing those key patterns - so that an ability that was once thought of as an innate talent or gift becomes a transferable skill.

 

The process of extracting and reproducing those patterns is called modeling.

If someone has a valuable ability, then we can model that person and reproduce that ability in ourselves or others.  This is typically done either for personal development purposes, or to enhance the performance of an individudal, team or organisation in order to achieve better results in some context.

So if you can think of a particular gift or ability that you'd really like to have - something that a few fortunate or extraordinary people seem able to do - then learning NLP will allow you to develop that ability.

 


Hang on! Isn't NLP really all about [insert concept] ?

 

Short answer:    No, it's really not.

 

Let's clear up some confusion.

When you look outside on a windy day and there are trees swaying in the wind, you don't actually see the wind - you just see trees moving.

In other words, all you are ever seeing is the effect of the wind - the results that are visible in the world.

This is also the case with NLP.  What people typically see are the results of the process of modeling - not the modeling itself.

So in the early 1970s, when the originators of NLP modeled a bunch of geniuses in the field of psychotherapy, the results were a set of models and processes for creating profound therapeutic change.  So way back then, what most people saw when they looked at NLP was a bunch of great therapeutic techniques.

More recently, there's been a lot of modeling done in areas like persuasion, motivation and leadership.  So today, a lot of people think that NLP is all about persuasion, motivation and/or leadership.  What a surprise, right?

And a lot of other people think that NLP is about personal power, or accelerated learning, or improving sports performance, or communication skills, or lateral thinking.

 

And YES - NLP has made tremendous contributions in all of these areas.

After more than 35 years of modeling all kinds of exceptional people, we now have an extensive bank of field tested and proven models.  Seriously - I'm talking bucket loads of immensely valuable techniques for doing all kinds of cool things in life, in business, and in all manner of creative, competitive, and people-helping fields.

And you will learn how to do a whole bunch of those things when you come and do your NLP Practitioner training.  But you'll also learn the foundations of modeling.  And then when you do your Master Practitioner training, you'll spend much of your time learning to be a world class modeler.

Because then you can go out and model absolutely anything you want - whether to help people, to dominate a business niche, to teach others ... or even just because you've seen someone do something unbelievably cool and you want to be able to do that.

And that's where it's really at.


Because, sure - when you do your NLP Practitioner training you will learn a bunch of techniques that can change your life and transform your business.  And that's huge.

But as a world class modeler, you can do ... anything.



What is NLP all about?

 

It's about freedom."

Re: Ceelllllll-e-brate good times! A place to celebrate ourselves and eachother :)

I have just looked at it a bit but my daughter was interested in NLP for a while. It worked for her.

Re: Ceelllllll-e-brate good times! A place to celebrate ourselves and eachother :)

Have been so tired today have slept more than i would in a week

Re: Ceelllllll-e-brate good times! A place to celebrate ourselves and eachother :)

Ahhh ... tiredness can be good .. hope you are doing ok @Jamc

Re: Ceelllllll-e-brate good times! A place to celebrate ourselves and eachother :)

Thank you @chookmojo

So ...... The back garden and chooks have been like a ....... 5 min. Break ?

If I remember correctly you were diagnosed with fast tracking bi polar ?

Hugely intelligent people.......
Can I ask another question ........ So do you think it's triggered environmental or genetically ?

My sister in law is diagnosed I have very little to do with her but we like each other very much.

I never ever thought ide fall in love with Mr h here.
It feels like this ...... Self loathing is about parental love to you and I guess...... Does this bring about sibling rivalry ?

ive been noticing huge amounts of sibling rivalry with my brothers.

Re: Ceelllllll-e-brate good times! A place to celebrate ourselves and eachother :)

Nlp looks interesting šŸ™‚ in my teaching field nlp stands for negotiated learning program hehe

Re: Ceelllllll-e-brate good times! A place to celebrate ourselves and eachother :)

Hey @PeppiPatty

Not sure what you mean by 5 minute bweak with the Chooks and garden - can you clarify for me?

No I don't have bi-polar - I have at various times been diagnosed with EDs, Social Anxiety Disorder, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia, PTSD and most recently Autism Spectrum Disorder.

So I am not sure if your question about environemental factors would still apply? For me personally i think most of my anxiety was due to undiagnosed Autism and sensory processing issues combined with an abusive and dysfunctional home environment. As these factors have both always been present I can't disentangle them.

Sibling rivalry. Oh so much! My brother was always my mum's favorite, and she was very overt about this, in part because my father was particualrly abusive towards my brother. Self loathing being about parental love? Hmmmm maybe. More though it was about just not getting ANYTHING right, I just could not do things like a normal person so I always and forever beig told that I was trouble, or a whinger, or needy, or something. Not so much parental love as general acceptance!

By the way mods I feel like we have strayed far from the topic of this thread - if you feel so inclined feel free to split this sub-conversation out into a thread of its own!