Best Friends Club

[avant-garde]

@Gremlin24 

I don't want to get rid of mine either, hence I'll be getting creative, I have this interesting idea that I want to try out 

[Shaz51]

Love to hear your interesting idea @avant-garde 😊

[avant-garde]

@Shaz51 @Gremlin24 

It's hard to explain...

My head has this image and concept

Just below the elastic band to create a hole and to use the hole to loop it through the hole in the next one to create kind of a set of hanging sock pockets to put longer things in that I can hang up...

[avant-garde]

Something happened yesterday...

@Shaz51 @MJG017 @Oaktree @Ru-bee @rav3n

My best friend and I went and saw sonic 3 yesterday... I was getting my thermos filled up downstairs and it took them longer than it took me to drive there. So I sent her a screenshot of my loyalty card. 

The attendant asked her if she wanted to use my points and only pay $1 for the movie ticket, she without thinking said yes...

When I got up there she said the movie ticket only cost $1... she hadn't asked me if she could use the points...

I snapped at her...

I was going to pay for the ticket because she paid for the last one and use the points today...

The thing was that she didn't ask me...

I know that she says sorry out of habit and doesn't always know what she's apologising for. So I did ask her why she's sorry...

I know for me I find it hard to accept just the word "sorry" because to me it's just a word and so I explained this to her

she's level 2 autistic and gets really upset and overwhelmed when she does something wrong...

she just kept crying and wanting hugs, she recognised that she did something hurtful but couldn't put it into words, so I simply told her that it was her not asking me...

but I'm still hurt... it triggered me and I know she struggles to think of others when she's overwhelmed, she's like me in that way, but these are emotions she wouldn't understand...

[ENKELI]

@avant-garde I lived with someone like that for 8 years. She was a prefer to ask forgiveness than permission type of person and it drove me nuts. 

I understand how upset you must have felt, and trying to explain it to a person who doesn't think they need to ask permission is something so frustrating. My ex friend had no mental health issues but still didn't understand why it was such a big deal to me. I would find her kids had used my things without asking and I'd get the stock standard sorry which, like you, meant nothing to me.

I hope you get to resolve this, it's not good to have that heavy feeling is it. 🤗

[avant-garde]

@ENKELI 

It's not that she doesn't think she needs to, she's just hasn't been taught, it doesn't cross her mind. She doesn't have a malicious bone in her body but she's the kind that doesn't have they greatest interpersonal skills.

She hasn't been taught these things, to consider others with her decisions, with me she is learning.

Basically she doesn't always think before she answers questions.

Her mum doesn't let her make mistakes, she never has.

She has spina bifida, is 30 and is scared to become independent because she's very very sheltered. 

But she's the sweetest person in the world and has a child's heart.

Our relationship is unique in that she encourages me to not be so serious and I encourage her to be more independent

[ENKELI]

@avant-garde it sounds like a very sweet relationship you have with her. You have a good heart and it sounds like you are just the friend she needs.

[rav3n]

hiiii everyone @avant-garde @Shaz51 @ENKELI @Gremlin24 

got my aircon on & having an iced coffee 😋

[rav3n]

@avant-garde i can see that you care about her a lot and try your best to understand her too. sometimes things like this happen where we are both hurt by someone's actions but we also understand them really well that it's almost hard to stay upset at them. both feelings are valid, it's okay to be frustrated yet also see that it was human mistake i reckon.

[Gremlin24]

@rav3n hello, enjoy your iced coffee.