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Re: Best Friends Club

@avant-garde I mean I suppose your friends are thinking it might be too harsh/be upsetting for this person to read, which is potentially true. I guess just depends if you care about that sort of thing in your response. Personally I don't think I'd use the word hate, but this isn't really about me, nor is it about your friends - it's about you, and what feels right for you. 

Re: Best Friends Club

Oh and just to be extra clear @avant-garde when I say I wouldn't personally use that word, it's not me saying I disapprove or anything! I'm just pointing out that we all communicate in different ways, and if you feel like altering it too much would deny you the chance to express yourself, maybe it's not worth doing. 

Re: Best Friends Club

@Jynx 

They say the word hate darkens the soul. 

My soul is dark anyway so why do I care what they think

I need her to feel the gravity of the message, I think what I originally wrote is fine and that its about me this time around. It's about me feeling heard, not them.

Re: Best Friends Club

@Jynx 

 

Going with the original, adding this sentence

"I know I used the word hate a lot there but I need you to understand just how much your actions have impacted and continue to impact me"

Re: Best Friends Club

@avant-garde I like it - tho I think if the purpose is to try to offer a lil dose of compassion along the way, adding in a little acknowledgement like... 

"I know I used the word hate a lot there, and it is a very strong word that might feel hurtful. But I really need you to understand just how much your actions have impacted and continue to impact me"

 

Up to you ofc - but yeah it sounds like you are standing up for yourself and the empowerment you're showing is honestly an inspiration 😊💜

Re: Best Friends Club

@Jynx 

I like it but I don't want her to think we can ever be friends again. Part of me wants to hurt her like she hurt me...

Re: Best Friends Club

oh niceee any particular genres you're into? are you watching anything good at the moment? @Hopeandlove 

Re: Best Friends Club

@Jynx 

My healthy adult is telling me that I may be angry now but I won't be angry forever.

When I'm eventually not angry, it wouldn't be me if compassion wasn't shown. 

This is about portraying hurt and expressing boundaries, not angry remarks

Re: Best Friends Club

Absolutely human nature to want that @avant-garde. One thing I think that humans crave is being understood. Wanting to hurt someone in the way they hurt us, is to my mind our way of trying to show them the impact so they might finally understand us, and why we are feeling so hurt by their actions. 

 

The flipside of the coin is - what does that do to us? I dunno about you but I don't ever walk away from that kind of thing feeling good about myself. Even if they do deserve it, I think it can leave even more impacts on us, more scars across our hearts. If it feels like this is what you need for closure, then fair enough - I guess I just feel it's worth maybe contemplating how it would actually feel for you. 

 

I am off for tonight!! Feel free to let me know how you go though. Catch you soon lovely, thanks for the chats 😊

Re: Best Friends Club

Yesss nailed it @avant-garde glad to hear it! Okay night for realsies 😋