Writing As A Form Of Therapy

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @Silenus

Arlo likes smiling ! thanks for this post!!

[GonePirate]

trying to do  silenus here and give some kind of insight into this post

ummmmmmmmmmm

well i worte it off the top of my head

i guess its frustration confusion and depression speaking

choke down another of those tailored cigarette

in a failed hope that you will one day forget

all of the pain that youve been through

and all of the shit thats happened to you

is it true?

am i but a victim of my own orchestrated demise

the innevitable sinking after my glorious rise

am i more than a face without a name

or am i just a player in this losing game

such a shame?

i play russian roulllette everyday with a gun named emotion

which can be fickle as fog or as deep as the ocean

then theres an explosion inside and i cant contain

the thoughts and feelings i once held in my brain

am i insane?

try as i might to break this long repeated pattern inside

but theres nothing i can do and theres nowhere to hide

i feel alos to this chaos an unchanging pattern of up and down

facing each day with doubt do i wear the smile or the frown

am i the clown?

am i the fool the jester in own court that i swore id never be

am i the peasant an servent slave or the king who is free

am i the angel who soars so high above the skyscrapers of man

or am i the devil cursed to live so low beneath the land

or am i a man?

if i am human then why is it so hard to be part of society

and then why are very few capable of getting as high as me

why do i suffer this up and this down with no end in sight

why do morning suck as i get better by day and feel fine at night

am i alright?

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @GonePirate

Like your poem. 

Can you write more about this ; 

if i am human then why is it so hard to be part of society

and then why are very few capable of getting as high as me

why do i suffer this up and this down with no end in sight

why do morning suck as i get better by day and feel fine at night

am i alright?

I can really related to this. .....I want to read it again and again.

[Silenus]

Great poem @GonePirate ... truly great...

[Silenus]

Hahaha... thanks @PeppiPatty - that is a truly magnificent smile from Arlo...

Sending huge hugs and lots of happy vibes your way... 🙂

[GonePirate]

ahoy @PeppiPatty 

i would write more but im not sure exactly what you want to know???

[PeppiPatty]

Okay @GonePirate

What I look at your name...GONE pirate....It feels to me you have appeared for the presence and then....you dissappear....

When I read your poem; 

if i am human then why is it so hard to be part of society

and then why are very few capable of getting as high as me

why do i suffer this up and this down with no end in sight

why do morning suck as i get better by day and feel fine at night

am i alright?

It feels you dissappear as well. I feel you like.....shoot up off the page and fall down again. Like my trees I draw which go up and down off the pages. Like my nger which felt out of control when I was younger. 

Who supported me? Who SAW me?

Who saw you? Who supported you ??

[GonePirate]

hmmmmmmmm

please allow me to ponder a moment

firstly the name yes it sparks many an image

i am glad it does because its meaning was actually quite bleak in existence

one time many moons ago

years even

i went pirate i in a psychosis believed i was a pirate from my past life

it was a dark time

a confusing time

how can reality be so tangible i thought

and still do

yes i had gone pirate as one would have gone fishing or gone camping

i had rum and port by the litres and i had a little dingy (inflatable) and i was dressed the part

and i set off down a river i knew would take me to the ocean

i made it downstream but not to the sea

some peeps found me and i began a grueling mission to my car now 3 hours away from me

but the idea that im here then im gone suits me well

infact i love it

as for the poem well this is the frustration i speak of

if i am just another mere mortal why do i have this affliction

this curse of 'bipolar'

why does that mean i cant fit in and must forever be different

is it my disorder or my personality

these are the questions i ponder night long

and as for why are so few capable of getting as high as me

well i once had a mania that lasted 9 months

thats practically impossible where it not true

and im not bragging or exaggerating

im stating fact

i first felt the grips of a manic high when my son was born

emotions were heavy and that triggered me positively

three months later it started to dwindle so i started using amphetamines

gas or base as it be called

for 6 more months i juggled a hundred million balls in the air

untouchable and invincible

i kept it up for all of nine months dive or take a week

inhuman impossible feats of awesomeness

many of my other highs tho not as long have been just as substantial

why do i suffer this up and down with no end in sight?

well yeah why me

why was i given this curse

this gift

this blessing in tortures clothing

i guess so i could grow so i could learn so i could become wise beyond my years

see i am 25 i have suffered for about 10 years

but thats just bipolar my problems are deeper than that

i have many problems from many things throughout my life

but on thing has remained the same

mornings are terribly hard mid days become slightly easier and nights well by night i am free

not from the pain or the confusion from a thought riddled mind

but free to get it out to explore it or to write it down...

yeh

am i alright???

no i am not 😄

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @BlueBay

A quote I thought you would like to read by; Henry Miller. Henry Miller was a very famous writer. Underneath this quote is a bit about him from Wikopedia.....

The moment one gives close
attention to anything, even a
stick of grass, it becomes a
mysterious, awesome, indescribably
magnificent world in itself.

Henry Miller

Henry Valentine Miller (December 26, 1891 – June 7, 1980) was an American writer. He was known for breaking with existing literary forms, developing a new sort of semi-autobiographical novel that blended character study, social criticism, philosophical reflection, explicit language, sex, surrealist free association and mysticism.[1][2] His most characteristic works of this kind are Tropic of Cancer (1934), Black Spring (1936), Tropic of Capricorn (1939) and The Rosy Crucifixion trilogy (1949–59), all of which are based on his experiences in New York and Paris, and all of which were banned in the United States until 1961.[3] He also wrote travel memoirs and literary criticism, and painted watercolors.[4]

[eth]

Hi @Silenus  thanks for trying to link me.  Not sure why it didn't work.  I've definitely been missing some posts in some of the threads I'm involved in.  May be something to do with using up all my data over the last month but other times people mention me and I do get the notification.  Not sure what's up.  Heads up to @NikNik about this one.  None of my settings have changed.  My data has now rolled over so we'll see if it continues to happen.

Hi to all of you anyway.  I'll have to spend less time here this month if I can, or pay for a higher data plan.  The forum has a big part in keeping me going at the moment so I don't really want to  cut down.

Hope you all have good days today.