Writing As A Form Of Therapy

[eudemonism]

I've just had an elaborate, detailed and overwhelmingly truthful conversation with myself. Which was triggered bye the events of this afternoon. It's stems back into my early life and most early thoughts of 'something being not quite right ' and possibly lies at the root cause of my mental problems.

Before my uncle died. He told me some stuff which directed me toward believing that what lay at the foundation of my mental problems be true and correct. And i honestly shut it out and didn't wanna know about it. As if the truth came out  I would of had to recalobreate my entire understanding of my life story and my current life circumstances. And every hardship and heartache i have ever experienced would come into a much clearer prospective. 

One thing i cannot do... that is raise my hand and admit to another persons wrong deeds and be repentant for them. I cannot be responsible for their wrong deeds. And i cannot be held accountable for another persons wrong deeds. (Or try to make amends for these wrong deeds ) However I can sit back and watch someone live a life of denial. And yes indeed it is oh so very frustrating to be on the receiving end of this scenario. 

[Former-Member]

Slowly slowly 

the rake leaves lines in the dirt

slowly slowly 

the spade takes a chunk out of the earth

slowly slowly

the pick crushes into hard ground

slowly slowly

i realise I am the soil 

soil left bare

soil left to dry 

soil left to die

[Former-Member]

Eyes would cry 

eyes would dry

when I die

[Maggie]

Words unspoken

To many dreams broken

Locked inside my silent screams

Thoughts swirling inside my head

Nothing can be said

Lost in thought

Crystal clear

Deepest secrets

No one will ever hear

There are no anchors

To hold me safe

My world keeps moving

I can't keep pace

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @eudemonism

How are you ? Thank you for your message. May I ask if your feeling more at peace after your message ? How old were you when you spome to your Uncle ? Was it a conversation between you and him or were other people around ? 

[eudemonism]

@PeppiPatty my mood is always fluctuating due to the medication. So I'm coming up to the stage where I'm feeling low and edgy. It was only a few years ago when i spoke to my uncle so about 31-32. And no one else was around. What he said offered me a glimmer of hope confirming supposed confabulation against real life events. Which all others involved would be trying to hide. It would of put my mind at ease. As i still don't know myself if it's confabulation or truth.

[outlander]

Pain standing up
Pain sitting down
Pain all fking round!

[Former-Member]

As tears roll down her cheeks

She sits there in silence and listens too the sound of her own heart beat.

She has a great emotional pain that she can no longer bare, 

She wants to pull it out at the core but it is buried too deep

The more she digs up the deeper it falls

And now she can handle it no more

She just wants to end it all

[Former-Member]

Hey @Former-Member - I know this is a creative space to express yourself, which you have done beautifully. Just gently placing these numbers here okay? Just in case you need some extra support. 

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

💐

[Former-Member]

When you realise 

you’ve been here before

abandoned and alone

dealing with demons

dealing with pain

dealing with loss

dealing with war

dealing with life

numbing the world

so nothing hurts

when you realise 

you’re back where you were

dealing with demons

dealing with pain

numbing the world

and everything hurts

run away

fast and slow

run away

find your way 

through the maze

don’t get lost

don’t get tempted

stay on your way 

but this time

i will understand

if you drown

tired of keeping up

tired of trying 

and let you go

where you want to be

i wish you strength

i wish you courage

to make the choice

that’s yours to make