Evening @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51- I hope you are both ok, sorry I have not been around much, but you are often in my thoughts.
@Teej- You have been driving me crazy as I have been looking everywhere for your previous post so I can respond to it! Luckily I keep deleted notifications so I dragged it up. I don't want to cause you undue stress by reposting it, but upon reading some of your recent posts, I understand life has been quite difficult for you. And I want you to know that if I was upset or offended by your post, I likely would have said so (in a gentle way).
i wanted to respond here because it seems more appropriate to your post on the worry room and things going on in your life. I don’t know much about what’s happening but I think I’ve got a glimpse. I think if it was any of us in your position you ask us to be kind to ourselves and give us time to work on the tricky things. I know what it’s like to be in a house full of kids but still feel alone but maybe for different reasons. I also had a strong reaction to your post about being in a place where there is everything you love but feel like there is such a huge hole because it’s hard to feel those things or make it enough. Go gentle Sans911 because the one thing I have worked out is it takes lots of time to tackle tricky things. I’ve paid some hefty prices for not being able to do things to move on but am finally getting to the point where I live with it a little easier I think, I didn’t realise this until I read your post. It was a bit of a flash back in time for me. I guess I wanted to share that although our situations are different I think I get it and have been in that very hurt/angry space before and blamed myself. I’ll leave you with these for thought. I downloaded them last year in May. I was trying to find a path forward at the time. Sending big hugs.
Please maybe swap the word mistakes for something that might be more relevant. At the time I saw my hopelessness and difficulty overcoming things as mistakes. Today I realise it’s the wrong word.
First of all, thank you so much for being respectful, and posting a response on this thread instead of the Worry Room. That is very much appreciated. Secondly, although you didn't know exactly what was wrong, your post was entirely relevant, and very helpful.
I couldn't respond to you properly until now Teej not because I was upset with you; I simply haven't had hardly any spare time in the last 2 days. I am dealing with an increase in voluntary programs, appointments, financial issues, the death of a cousin by his own hands, my sister-in-law's possible diagnosis of major cancer, and my own mental health struggles including my almost daily battle with SI/SH in the space of a matter of days. Even my forum 'sisters' @outlander @Snowie @greenpea have missed out on my presence here for these days, and I miss them terribly as well having a lot of catch up to do. The rest of this week is equally busy, but I did not want a lack of response to wait another day as I thought it would be unfair to leave you thinking you had done something wrong when you hadn't.
You are not a bull at a gate Teej nor do you need to think more clearly. How you how responded is well articulated, reasonable and thoughtful. I am trying to be kind and gentle to myself, and self care is an absolutely priority for me especially during busy, stressful times. And yes, I tend to be the one that holds the self blame, self loathing card instead of handing it back to those responsible. And I am not a patient person when it comes to working on the tricky things. I am aware I need to give things time to change, but I often feel frustated by the often snails pace in going forward. I realise however I have probably made more inroads into understanding myself and particularly those things that are no longer effective, but changing lifetime habits is really, really difficult and often leaves me confused, unsettled and frustrated.
Please don't refrain from posting to me again @Teej. I value your input, and I have much respect for you. Lately I haven't followed your story as much as I would like to because I have limited myself to just a few threads for my own protection and well being.
Please take special care of you Teej. You matter a great deal to me. If you didn't I would not have troubled myself to make the effort to respond to this post, as it is already past my bedtime. I hope I see you around real soon, and how did know pansies are one of my favourite flowers? I see you remember my favourite colour is purple 
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Cheerio Teej
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.