Support for Flowerlove22

[Sunnyside226]

@Dreamy   

I don't know what I've done   you seem upset 

I am sorry for everything sorry for whatever I've done.    

I'll go bye     

[Dreamy]

@Sunnyside226 you haven't done anything wrong at all. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. 

You don't have to go anywhere. 

What are you up to at the moment? 

I made myself a hot chocolate and I'm staring at this puzzle trying to work out what colour to work on next. 

[AuntGlow]

Hello @Sunnyside226! How are you feeling tonight? ✨

What were your questions around mental health? Happy to answer them!

I looove music. I really enjoy creative, alternative kind of music and musical theatre. 

I need to do more breathing and meditation to be honest! I tend to gear towards movement when I am feeling dysregulated. Do you have any that you like that you can recommend? 🥳

[Sunnyside226]

@Dreamy are you around?   

I don't really want to chit chat to a mod but need someone  

[Dreamy]

@Sunnyside226 I'm here ♥️

[Dreamy]

@Sunnyside226 did you get up to anything tonight? 

[Sunnyside226]

I don't anymore @Dreamy    it feels like nothing will be ok or fine   I felt like I was with her but I wasn't.    

nobody to chat to as it's late I don't want to bother a mod.   Something feels off      

Tbh it feels nobody likes me here  like the peer workers  never want to talk to me anymore  never say hey sunny how are you I get it's a peer peer Form thing  

Even if I tag them  get no reply or I'll reply later  it feels like Im a waste on here  am I wasting sane funds?   I try to talk to others it just feels like no friends nobody checks in      like yeh rav3n chats to me when she's on shift but it only feels like she does because I tag her sometimes I don't. She still checks ins.  

I am thinking really hard if I want to stay or leave  is my eyes staring to cry while  typing this out yes @Dreamy  I might delete this later sorry for a rambling 

[Dreamy]

@Sunnyside226 well I'm here to chat and I'm always happy to sit and talk with you. 

The peer support workers i know get pretty busy and are also doing things behind the scenes, training, replying to emails etc. But i can understand the feeling when you tag someone and you don't get a reply, i go to that thought process of 'I'm not good enough, noone wants me here, I'm just bothering everyone'. 

It's funny you mention about staying or leaving, when you posted earlier thinking you had upset me i was in tears cos I actually put up a post saying that I was going to leave the forums (there's alot more to it than just wanting to leave). But I've decided to sleep on it for the night and to see how I feel about it all tomorrow. 

One thing I do know is that this community is an amazing support network and the only one I have. I don't want to lose this space cos the connections I've made including with you really do mean the world to me. 

I know things are hard for you right now and I'm here for you and I'll help however i can. 

[NewDawn]

Hey Sunnyside22 I'm about to head off for the night, but we have other mods here taking over . Feeling rejected is the worst ! please know we are here 🙂 your a very valued member of this community !

[Sunnyside226]

@Dreamy  It's midnight I'm crying my eyes   

It's not that, it's 3 months   I had lots of people talking to me  getting to know them    now  I have like one  friend   on here     

yeh I understand peer workers get busy  all that   it feels like  they don't like  me like I've done something bad wrong.   Most weeks  one peer worker would tell me about pets  we would talk about the house we build on here  etc 

Other peer worker would tell me about her art things she's done   would tell me what movie she's watched would ask if I've seen it or not   now it's like  I get nothing from them not even hi  

Most people on here chat to them everyday about whatever  get checks ins. Me it's like I'm on the outside  I don't what I've done or if I've upset. Them    

Honestly I don't know where life is at  I feel like I just don't belong here  I am feeling numb  I'm hurting inside knowing I may be hated    

I'm thinking of leaving sane  so I don't waste funding or a space for someone else.   

@Dreamy I'm still crying,  if I leave today please know I always remember you  and our stitch conversations    I'm sorry to know you want to leave too