Sometimes I feel I will never get better

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member

I wrote in another of my posts (having a bad morning).  i had a bad night ended up in hospital with chest discomfort and very high BP. Ended up all okay but the doctor said it's stress and anxiety related. I was allowed to leave at 7.30am this morning. so today was a very laid back day, i slept for a while; took a small walk with the dog around the block.

think an early night tonight.

@utopia i hope you are getting better.  did you see your doctor today?

@Former-Member it's nice that you went out today, good idea on tking your meds with you.  you never know when you need to take them.

hope you both have a good night sleep. 

[utopia]

@Former-Member. Missed the doctors. I just had an 18 hour sleep. My body obviously needed it. Feeling heaps better. Still have a cough but it's not as bad and my ribs no longer hurt. So I'm on the mend. Thanks for thinking of me.
I hope your day has been good.

[utopia]

@Former-Member. So glad you went to the ballet with your daughter. It sounds like a beautiful day. I used to struggle with crowds - still do to a degree & I also have some medication that I take just for that purpose - on an as needs basis. So well done for knowing what you needed to do - to be able to attend the ballet.
MI is not always about a cure - it's about being able to live your life the best way you can. And it sounds like you did just that. Am very happy for you and proud of you

[Former-Member]

Oh that wasn't a good night for you last night @BlueBay. Glad they looked after you though.
Will chat again soon. So late now. Hate being awake this time of night. 😴💜

That's great you're feeling better @utopia. Amazing big sleep, gosh! That's good, must have needed it. 😊 Chat again soon. 💜

[BlueBay]

I think this is me - never going to get better.  This is how i will be forever.

So what's the point of meds, therapy and psych's.  

May as well stop all meds and therapy.

No one believes me anyway so what's theh point.  and when i do tell them they invalidate me by saying something really stupid and invalidating.

I have been invalidated my whole life by my mum and at times my dad. 

I am not a child and I DID NOT plan to get high blood pressure and chest pain just to go to hospital. I did not plan to stay in hospital all night. That wasn't a plan of mine.

[R1CK13]

@BlueBay I suffered depression for 6 years before I felt "normal" again. It took 2 years of therapy with a psychologist that I could connect with, losing my job and taking a step back from university to get there. 

I completely understand how you are questioning the way you would be feeling without your meds. The exact thought came across my mind too. After only 1 month of taking them I had this thought and decided to take the challenge and tackle my issues without them. It was HARD, I'm not going to lie. I was lucky to have a psychologist who supported this decision and was quite anti-meds anyway. We had more frequent consultations and sometimes if I didn't feel like talking we would have sessions where I would just listen.

During my pregnancy my anxiety got quite bad and my obstetrician recommended meds. I declined and conquered through it with the lessons I had learned from my psychologist. 

Find a therapist who you feel comfortable with and will respect your decisions if you really do wish to go without meds. It is worth it. I feel like I would not be as capable as I am if I did it with the assistance of medication. 

[BlueBay]

Hi @R1CK13

No i am not going to stop my meds.  i have just had my meds changed.  So i am slowly adjusting to them.

I have just yesterday booked in to see a new psychologist who deals with sexual abuse, depression, anxiety and BPD.  I am sure that this new psychologist will be of great benefit for me.

Hope you are doing well.