Hi Niqua, I'm all caught up on your news now, and I've posted in this thread now so will see under my onsite notifications icon when you have posted a new instalment. Hope you are enjoying your evening. I wonder what you might be watching. I've had a slow easy day, with two daytime sleeps containing epic dreams. Seems I needed the rest!
Sitting here now drinking mineral water with lemon, lime and bitters cordial, Bickfords brand, my favourite. I have had a habit of dabbling in some alcohol on Friday and also sometimes Saturday nights. But I am trying to cut back and maybe cut it out altogether, as my liver is not in the best shape. So it's cordial and bubbly water for me tonight. If you are interested, I've posted in the craft thread something I've made that's just been finished for C. It's on this link. Ciao until next time, my friend. 
@Former-Member
Hey Niqua, enjoying your writing, as usual.
We just had a big storm. Still rumbling in the distance. I'm scared of storms, like a dog hiding in its kennel. C came up with a brilliant idea though. He has industrial earmuffs from a job he used to do and so I wore them from when the storm really started making some noise today. Made a huge difference. Usually I am very anxious and jumpy but today the storm was a relatively calm experience. I'm just enjoying the cool breeze flowing through the flat from it now, very welcome after a warm day.
Earlier I got out on the beach for a walk and a dip, and then jumped in the pool here after that and did four sidestroke laps. That's something I haven't done for a while. I'd like to do it more. The more exercise the better, for overweight me.
I hope you don't mind me responding to your notes at some length here. Let me know if you would prefer me to chat elsewhere, I won't mind. Just thought it might be a nice place to write 'letters' back to you.
I think it's so great that you are into the bed making routine, as am I. It's just that little thing that makes everything else seem a bit better, I find. Good on you for getting the dishes done too, even when you had given yourself permission not to. It sounds like you are getting on top of the housework again since your trip.
I don't envy you the 40 plus weather days. Very glad to know you have such a good (and elaborate) cooling system going. Another example of your resourcefulness. I think when the weather gets that hot it's really just a matter of surviving it for the most part, everything else can slide. I would be thinking that anything I did was bonus if I was surviving heat like that. Let's hope you are right, that the coming heatwave is being exaggerated, and you don't have to go through that.
Another part of one of your earlier messages comes to mind too. The part about all of us being driven to madness by the pace and demands and stresses of life at this time in history. Perhaps those of us who are diagnosed with mental illnesses (or who simply recognise it in ourselves), are simply at the more sensitive end of the spectrum of humanity, so much more susceptible to the stresses and strains on the mind.
Hope you have an enjoyable evening, dear friend. Lots of love streaming your way. Mazy
@Former-Member
Hello Mazy @Mazarita 🙂
Yay for the storm Maz 😄 . . . I hope it gets here! I'm strangely not afraid of storms (strange because I seem to be afraid of just about everything), I love watching them, though if the wind picks up I do get anxious. Good idea of 'C's with the ear muffs! 🙂 I think you'd better get some girly pink stickers to put all over them, & claim them as your own 🙂
Double Yay for the double swim!! I am noticing such a difference in your 'umph' since you've started the new medication! It's great to see 🙂 Do they seem to be staying constistant?
Absolutely no worries about you responding here, I like it 🙂 Sometimes the Forum {that I love} can be a little overwhelming for me, I know this is common, but sometimes it just feels like there's so many people!
Do you remember the last time I gave a bit of a push to be more tidy? The bed making just sort of happened, it was more dishes and dirty clothes that I wanted to get on top of. But I find, maybe because it's a fairly simple task, that if I start with the bed I get a more positive feeling about what I'm doing?
I don't envy me in my 40-45 weather! But I don't think I'm even hitting 40 here really. I'd agree that this is a heat-wave, but it's not the type I fear . . . not yet anyhow. It's cooling off at night, which means I can get some sleep. Last Summer there was no cooling off & it when on for a month.
The truth is I'm afraid of going through that again. I don't think I could let myself, I would have to go somewhere. What really frightens me about that, is that my Kingdom, my sanctuary, has proven it can become uninhabitable for me.
I didn't make Pumpkin hour again last night. It's a bit of a worry really. I noticed the clock just before it, wrote a few 'notes' & as usual, played some mindless 'click click' games to wind down. The next thing I know it's 2am. It was the same the other night, only it was 3. The sleep pattern battle is 1 I fought for years, I thought I had it licked. I'm worried there are black boxes after midnight.
Hoping you still have some cool from your storm & that it hasn't all turned into steam! Thinking of you with your difficult situation with your Mum & her sister wanting to see your show for a whole heap of positive reasons, but causing all sorts of negitive side-effects along the way
Love to you Mazy
Snap, Niqua. Here we are at the same time again. 
I love the idea of girly stickers for the masculine-looking industrial earmuffs.
Yes, it's true that I have extra oomph with the new meds. But I also think they may be kicking me into a bit of a mixed hypomanic state ('tech' talk for edgy and irritable and agitated some of the time, extra anxious and a bit in danger of flying off the handle). So I've rung my psychiatrist and left a message for when he's in tomorrow. I'm asking if I can lower the dose again before I go to Melbourne. I'm worried I'm going to 'lose it' with mum. When that happens, it really is like I have brain snaps and the damage is done before I've even had a chance to think the thought. This I want to avoid more than anything. I really love my mum and would hate myself if that happened.
So know what you mean about the forum seeming to have so many people on it sometimes. I know that some people feel ignored sometimes. But it's just not possible to get around to everyone. I need to keep my interractions limited to some extent, for my own sanity.
Yep, I'm with you on starting with the bed as a good way to go. For me, who is sometimes tempted too much to go back to bed during the day, it also marks a 'completion' of the sleep cycle and a more full entering into the day. With something good behind me to keep me moving.
That is a bit worrying about your sleep patterns. How unusual, for you. Just as I'm starting to get mine to flow in a better order too! Went to bed at 9.30pm last night, way before pumpkin hour.
It is pretty steamy here today, and warm. Every time I go outside to have a smoke, I come back sweating. But you know me, I sweat at the drop of a hat. I simply couldn't live where you do.
You are right that my mum and auntie wanting to come to my screening is so sweet. But I think I'll offer instead a private viewing at my mum's place. When I became a bit tetchy about it on the phone the other day (shame on me), she did say that she understood and was genuinely fine about it.
I bet this visit to mum goes much better than expected, despite my nervousness about it at the moment.
Well, I'll post this now in the hope that I don't miss a bit of a chat with you. But if you have already gone offline, or have other things to do, that's fine too. Like you said once before, we have our channel of communication open even when there is a time delay.
Love to you. @Former-Member
Gidday Mazy @Mazarita 🙂
I am going to head off-line just now. I was sort of planning to go into the city today, I have been meaning to change my mobile broadband plan since Oct. when my plan ended. There is 1 with 2GB more data for $10 a month cheaper than the 1 I'm on. I need to change onto it to start saving :$ I also have to get my anti-inflammatory pills from the chemist at the next town over {that's where I leave the script} as I ran out last night. But I slept in till 10 this morning {a side effect of being awake at night, that you would know well at a guess ;)} & my heads just not in city capable mode today - so I might just miss 1 pill {which won't harm me :)}
Today is Wier walk day 🙂 I tend to go there on mondays ever since I decided sundays would be a non-walk day 😉
Oops . . . I got a bit way-layed 😉 I made the bed! 😄 & put a sheet up as a 'wall' on the front door awning {aka 1 of those camping awning for the side of the car, that I never could figure out how to put on the bl**dy car!! - works well as a front door awning, tucked perfectly into the gutter ;D} Another wet curtain to help cool the breeze as it enter my castle 😄 ;D
I'm not going to the city today 😉 just decided that 🙂
How are you today?
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.