Never being in a relationship

[rav3n]

oh wow, i knew about the guitar but you write music as well!? that's really cool @TheRenegade345 

i'm sorry to hear about your experience. i'm a bit surprised that people didn't find that interesting... a lot of my friends are big music lovers so i know that sort of stuff would've piqued their interest. i have a few specific interests too, so i often feel like i'm not everybody's cup of tea (which i'm fine with, some people aren't my cup of tea either). how about your friends? do they show interest in your music stuff?

[TheRenegade345]

@rav3n 

I have written one concept album and I am currently writing another where there will be musical motifs that appear throughout the album and I will have a medley at the start as well, like in musical theatre.

I remember talking to a person about this a while ago and he suggested that perhaps the type of music I write isn't as popular anymore. Guitar music in itself isn't that popular like it used to be so I think thats part of the problem. If I grew up at any point during the 70s, 80s, or 90s I honestly believe I wouldn't have any problems at all. Its this generation I have no conceptual understanding of how to fit in.

My friends do like it, one of them even expressed admonishment that women dont seem to be that interested in my musical abilities. She couldn't understand why more women wouldn't be interested in it.

[rav3n]

oh that sounds amazing! did you study music in the past? or just always had a keen self-interest in music? @TheRenegade345 

ahh i see what you mean, it's one of those generational gaps! our current generation's music is drastically different from the 20th century ones right? and i'm glad your friend gets the hype!! i guess she's proof that your interests are cool (not that you need proof of that but its a nice bonus). 

i think even those who don't 'get the hype' can still appreciate the passion. i definitely don't understand certain interest topics like cars or jazz music, but others do - and i love that they love it! when people have topics that don't pique your interest, how do you feel about them? do you tend to get bored easily or do you enjoy getting to learn about it?

[TheRenegade345]

@rav3n 

I did some electives at school but it is largely a self interest. I dont know a lot about music theory but I have taught myself a lot about it.

Essentially, the most popular form of music right now is rap and generic pop music. These genres typically dont have guitars or use guitars as the main instrument. So people these days just dont value guitar based music.

I get the impression you are an empathetic person and curious about others interests. I think what I have noticed is that a lot of people today just aren't interested in others. It is alarming to me just how unsocialised some people are. I am always interested in others and will ask questions about their special interests, however that is not reciprocated to me. 

[tyme]

Are you on the 'wrong' dating app, mate @TheRenegade345 ???

Being able to play the guitar and write music is incredibly awesome!

I'm hopeless at most stringed instruments, but it doesn't stop me from listening to violin, viola and cello music! I listen to it pretty much every day! And yes, a lot of people would find this 'boring'.

I'd take orchestral music any day over some of the contemporary music nowadays.

I started learning piano from the age of 3. I play the piano, and organ, and I've also played the trumpet, baritone and the flute... 

I LOVE musicals. As soon as Annie came out, I booked tickets for July. I've seen School of Rock, Matilda, Charlie and the Chocolate factory, and heaps of others...

So yeah, I don't think it's about your interests. Maybe you've just gotta keep going with the dates? IDK. I can't help you there.

Please don't give you. You've got so much talent and skill. Maybe you are too 'qualified' for some of these people lol.

See you around mate!

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

I dont mean to answer your question with a question but "what is the right dating app?". I mean I am on the mainstream ones and I have tried the ones like eharmony but they are really expensive.

I think people just aren't cultured (lol). I do like orchestral music too and have tried to incorporate that in my music too.

I did speak to someone about the last point you made the other day and she said that potentially I am too high quality for some women. She did reassure me that I didn't have any issues with looks or anything like that, potentially my apparent put-togetherness might put some women off lol

[tyme]

I'm deadly serious @TheRenegade345 . Some people have an inferiority complex and feel not 'good enough' if the guy is 'too qualified'.

I don't know anything at all about dating apps, but I'm wondering if the cost of apps makes a difference to the 'pool' of people you connect with?

I'm thinking along the lines of suburbs and schools. Depending on the suburb you live or the school you went to, it can connect you to a different pool of people.

For example, I'm in Sydney at the moment and I'm in a very affluent suburb. I went to visit my cousin today, and the conversation itself showed how much these families have access to. It's also so competitive. What one family has, the next family wants the same or more.

Whereas where my house is in Melb, it's not a posh area at all. Socio-economic status is a lot lower.. so I'm around totally different people. 

It's sort of like that... not sure if it makes sense... I guess it's like the schools too... private versus public. And even then, the private/public have their own status and standing...

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

The last handful of times I have tried eharmony, it has essentially been dead. No one seems to be on them at all. Plus it is expensive and you are essentially locked into a subscription too once you sign up.

I totally understand what you mean but I dont think anyone uses these apps properly. Plus it is hard for me to get out due to the nature of my job so I am leaning towards perhaps being forever alone. I dont say that pessimistically, I just think thats what will happen. 

[tyme]

True that @TheRenegade345  in that people don't use the apps properly. @TheRenegade345 

I don't know why, but I seem to be confidence that hope stands. I can't remember, but did you say you were just under 40 years?

Somehow, I feel perhaps moving out from home may make a difference (but this is just my thoughts). I'm just thinking of myself. If I met someone that still lives with their parents, it would sorta turn me off a bit (once again, this is only MY thoughts. I'm not saying this is for everyone).

I have been in touch with this guy for about 5 years, and yeah.. the fact that he lives with his parents makes me think he's not ready for responsibility.

As I said, this is MY thinking. I want to make this very clear. 

I know that if I examine it clearly, the cost of living is outrageous. And yes, people HAVE to be able to save money and this means living with family. So it may even be evidence of a wise decision. I think it's just different for me because I've been living alone for over 10 years now...

In saying all this @TheRenegade345 , don't give up mate. 

Actually, come to think of it, in the past, I had a teacher colleague who got together with another teacher at school - they were in their late 30s, early 40s. But I have to say, that school had over 300 staff. I'm not sure how large your school is.

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

It is not just your thinking, women literally say it in their profiles. I think a lot of women think that way even it is so expensive to move out but clearly people have no sense of empathy whatsoever. It makes me feel so hurt

I am 30