Moving forward

[Former-Member]

I have no idea about what the issue is @Former-Member, but if it's any consolation at times when I've been ill, I've been your characteristic 'crazy person': unwashed, unslept and accosting people in the street. I was so convinced that I was actually dead and that my brain was rotting away and I thought people who looked at me could tell. V scared. V crazy.
Anyway, I think we all have stories like this and I think we should normalise all the bad bits as much as possible as we are all people, with thoughts and feelings and are sensitive to other's rejections and judgement. But when you get around to it, we all suffer from different things and some things that you mightn't be bothered by, may be highly distressing for another person.
You might be struggling with something, but you never know if someone else out there has struggled with it too.
That said, don't feel any pressure to disclose if you don't want to.

[Former-Member]

Yes @Appleblossom my elephant is swallowing me and has been for ages but I've had my head in the sand over it all. I had a reality check recently when my therapist told me what age I was functioning at, I'm pretty sure you saw that post. I've been trying to dig myself out but I am failing dismally and the shame is taking its toll. I tried to ask you some questions today on your approaching sure thread but I think I was clutching at straws so don't worry too much. 

[Appleblossom]

I'll have a look at it .. been distracted by housework and stuff today.

[utopia]

Well said @Former-Member. We all do things when unwell that should be talked about. Then again, I think we should also talk about things we do when well. All of it is human nature. All of it is part of who we are.

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member, hugz xox

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Former-Member,

thanks for sharing your really vulnerable stuff. I guess everyone does have there things here but I get swallowed by comparison a fair bit. Hearing voices and having delusions almost seems normal on here and I never judge, just learn and am amazed at the brain and the things it does. I feel empathy for you in that situation but I read so many similar stories it's make those things ok. I guess sometimes it would be good to read someone's story like mine so I don't feel so isolated with it all. This week I have come to thinking I don't have any MI I'm just a hopeless person and should leave this site. But I'll get over it I feel lost I think and maybe alone, perhaps even coming to think of it a little sorry for myself so I guess it's time to suck it up for a bit. I really hope I haven't offended you with what i wrote above.

thank you @Appleblossom for sharing those things about you breaking out on your own and the day with your son. It did help a bit. 

[Former-Member]

No, not at all. You just wrote what you felt.
That's completely fine.
You're right, it does seem almost normal sometimes, but that was kind-of my point. I can almost laugh at that story (which was my intention, even though I didn't convey it properly)
But I guess if you disclose something and no one can relate, it would make you feel more isolated.
Please don't leave the site, were just people supporting other people, no matter our 'diagnoses'.

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Former-Member, teared up at the last part which I guess is true.....just people supporting people regardless of diagnosis. Who said you are not as wise as @Faith-and-Hope 😝😚. I think if I didn't have a diagnosis it might be different but I'm not allowed to forget it....my psych has asked me to tell him what it is the last few visits just incase I forget 😬🤔:face_with_rolling_eyes:😠 As for helping me with it he's not so good but he's put a great big thumping tick in that diagnosis box.

cheers for the support. 💜🤗💐😘

[Decadian]

Aw @Former-Member

It's obvious reading what people write that you are cared about here - even if we never see your elephant we can see you - and how we care! - how indeed we are not at all worried about your elephant - even though we are really bothered that it is swallowing you

So - who knows - maybe we all have an elephant. I remember when I was young - how glad I am that wore off - being young was such a painful state

But - I would go out to a meeting or a party or whatever and get home and go to bed and spend the night totally screwed up about what I had said and what people thought of me and on and on etc -

And now all this has worn off - really - as someone said - it doesn't matter what people say as long as they don't deliberately set out to hurt people

When I first went to a therapist I was in really bad shape - and her nurse asked me if I could hear voices and I said "Of course - there's nothing wrong with my hearing" - that seriously - that was weird

But so many years have passed - so many people have moved in and out of my life - I can't get on with my sister and a therapist asked me if I had trouble getting on with other people - no - I am easy to get on with

But all those years have passed and I remember how I screwed myself up at night - but guess what - I can't remember what it was I said that was a problem to me and also - I do not dwell on what other people have said - except perhaps my mother - who started all the self-doubt

And the nurse who asked me if I could here voices - yeah - seriously weird

We love you here Teej and I don't think you would be any better if you weren't here

Lots of hugs

Dec

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Decadian. My therapy session today helped. It's interesting to see you reflect on what stayed with you and what has passed with time. 💜🤗😊💐