Moving forward

[eth]

I'm going over to visit a neighbour who just popped in and invited me for coffee.  Nice to connect with you both again @Former-Member and @Former-Member.  Take care and hope you both feel better soon.

[Former-Member]

Good to catch up @eth. Take care of you. I hope your medication settles soon. 💜😊💐

[eth]

Sorry @Former-Member just saw your last message.  I get out when I have to (shopping, appointments) but haven't been doing much socially.  I'm glad to hear your phams support worker is working well for you.  Will catch up again, heading out now.  Keep up the good work.

[Former-Member]

Oh yes! @Former-Member...in my minds eye, I also have a crap basket, that I shove little things in like phone calls (so simple) but I avoid or forget them!!
He,he..if anything it gave me a good chuckle. 😂😉
I like kurra's ideas on the getting up early, sitting with a cuppa, even when you don't feel like it.
A little things that becomes more habitual.
But I also understand TIME...it got me wondering as I dropped my boys today.
Goodness Teej has 4 older boy's was it?
I think it's amazing you survived them thus far!
Yesterday afternoon I found myself most upset they were being rude to me, and ignoring me.
In my circumstances a lead up to 'before dad's place' visit but omg I'd had it.
I sat down on my bed, trying desperately to find a moment's thought, and they'd all pile in on me.
I feel horrible but as I look back now I wasn't...but I yelled for them to go away!
I'd done so many nice things all week, even chipped into money I should have kept aside for this week on them.
Kids are kids, they always want. As parents we put the cap on it.
But constant giving is hard work.
I really hope your tribe treat you well.
Teenage years are a whole new mind game.
So I understand after 4 children, I think I'd want to get more years back in sleep!
I find I get along well with women who are of bigger families. A lot more is sacrificed.
We sacrifice anyway, but maybe it's serious frazzled hair days a lot more!!!
I just really feel for you.
I may never know the sleep factor of 12-18 hours but I sure know the bad thought day's.
Maybe I've already done a lot to retrain myself, I'm not sure.
The most helpful place I've found is the forums thus far.
I've done all the self help books years ago, & to be honest never looked at mental illness because 'who me'? I wasn't crazy!!
So learning is something I love.
I know you learn here too.
If that's something for one day, then so be it.
☺❤💪👓🎇
Hey did u ever see 'girl interrupted?'
I love that movie.
Every time I watch, my partner asks in astonishment, 'are you watching this again?'!!!!
Lol

[Former-Member]

Not at all @Former-Member...I was completely exhausted in every way.
I felt I had no valuable input to share & maybe my negative view triggered my own feelings from high school day's.
Um, but I had the most loveliest dream.
I was in high school on recess break.
I went and say on this grassy hill, midway.
Two other guys Sat above me, but one I knew from another dream (no idea in real life who it is), Sat behind me & I lay back in his lap soaking up the sun. I could actually feel the sun in my dream, it's healing warmth. I felt a peace.
Then the bell went & I walked back down the hill to realize I'd slept & missed the class anyway!!
My youngest did not wake last night, so I only woke twice when partner came in at 11ish then 5am!
Well anyway, I hope to re-coup some time to think this week as my older two are at their dad's.
Look forward to how you tackle next reno.. ☺💪
And you did make a chai sound soooo yummy!!

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member. Think I missed replying to this post. You do worry me with trying to fix two people things by yourself. Not sure many if any can do that job by themselves. Wish I was there to help you.

As for your son I don't think you SHOULD feel anyway, my therapist keeps saying we feel what we feel and that's ok but it's what we do next I guess that counts. I guess that means looking after you when you get hurt. It's ok to feel like you want more from him, that is so very natural but I guess expecting more leads to disappointment. I am hurting a bit too as my son is starting to show resentment to me but for me I'm just trying to hope it comes out in the wash with counselling but it may not either. He is avoiding being home at all costs right now but it could be teenage stuff too.

I am glad last night we got to have that conversation. It was probably overdue for me. I also wanted to say that I realised I didn't really acknowledge the loss of your friend. It sounds like it was such a complex and often distressing situation for you so young. Something you've carried for a long time. Thanks for sharing that, I know it was really personal.

I hope your day is ok. Luckily mine has improved although still on go slow. Take care 💜😊

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Former-Member, ❤️🌷💕❤️🌷💕 
Its hard with our chidren, I fear our mental illness damages them, but the alternatives are even worse. We just have to come out of a place of love toward them, stay calm, don't expect anything (as @Appleblossom points out) and act surprised with praise for the slightest good and let God be the judge. Just do the best you can Teej, thats all we can do. Stay strong, go gently. ❤️🌷💕❤️🌷💕 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, Looking for you, how's ya moving forward going?

[Former-Member]

Hiya @Former-Member. Today it feels like that long slide back. Was around a bit in night shift last night. I'm feeling a bit lost today. How about you?

[utopia]

Hi @Former-Member & @Former-Member. I hope you don't mind but I read a prev post about trying to raise our kids with MI and how hard it can be. And trying not to put too msny expectations on them.
I only have the one child 14. I find that I don't know whether his behavior is normal teenage stuff - or whether he is starting to mimic my behavior - re: lying in bed most of the day. Not wanting to go anywhere or do anything.
I worry thst he is learning these bad habits from me. And then there is the genetic link in our family re:MI. I'm finding it hard to shut up my negative self talk about - what's the point. He'll probably end up like me anyway - or I'm such a shitty mum - I can't even motivate my own son.
Feeling moody and irritable today. Would love to stay in bed and cry all day