Living with Ourselves

[tonys]

@Sophia1 took me a few goes to get that last zeppelin air born.   mate of course i like writing to you,  you put heart and soul in your paintings...   It just takes me a while to read digest and assemble the words..   it takes a fringe dweller to know a fringe dweller..... we hang on to those we find..   Im in my element now,  seated in a coffee shop just studying  people,    Yes i know i shouldnt listen ,  but why is it when people are talking money share port folios and negetive gearing they turn the volume up so loud,   but wait.... .  now i see there shiny garish attire,...wet lips are still moving .... but all i can hear is the large incisors of my massive pigs back on the farm,  crushing through the bone and flesh of butchers scraps.  growling ... shouldering each other for a bigger share of the trough..   If one of these well manicured real estate tycoons toppled  from there stools,  would the others devour him in a feeding frenzy.  you gotta wonder,    any way,  im no threat to them.   theyre incapable of seeing me.  Im going to string my guitar and busk tomorrow.   Who knows what that may bring...   Now you take care sophia.  I am full of cotton candy and deal out my visions,  but if i ever think im really in need of a factory re-boot ,  i think id send my hard drive to apple blossom,   very wise and stable that one....Please keep that chin up so the sun can light your face.   tonys moon base one

[Jacques]

hi @Appleblossom im not sure if we had ever spoken about it, it has been 20 years since i have even looked at it. wow you had a really beautiful motorbike, it is so amazing riding, i feel free and calm when i was riding my bike, although i had to watch for police as i was under age to have a license, they where nice to me when i did see them though, because i was not being silly or riding in town they turned a blind eye. 

yes, i did enjoy talking about my models, i have not had the motivation to do any for a while now. maybe one day i will get back into it.

i hope you are well my friend.

jacques

[Appleblossom]

@Jacques In country living motor bikes were pretty common I guess.  I rode from when you could get a permit before 18. I was grateful she was being protective of me. I had left home at 16, knew nobody who was interested in helping me and a group of friends including a female friend taught me, and made the point of getting me a jacket and helmet.  I had seen a lot of bullying and violence and my mother was so overwhelmed by herself or the other kids, it was always up to me to look after myself and help her. From the limited experience I had of people doing decent things for others or for me, I probably romanticised the biker's 'brotherhood' a little.  First I had Honda CB 250 4 stroke and then the RD. I had friends at work also who rode.  It gave me a sense of belonging and being practical, doing mechanics etc.  

My mother probably did not like it but never said anything, she never seemed to like anything about me for so long, no matter if I was doing something she approved of or not. 

Not very girly of me @Sophia1Our friendship is important to me. For a long time I trusted boys more than girls cos I could not understand the superficial interests of most girls, and mostly felt hurt and rejected by them. My clothes were really bad at school.  Later at work some taught me about make up and clothes but I could never take it seriously.

@Shaz51 @Zoe7 and @Faith-and-Hope and a few other early forum members helped me feel more comfortable talking to females.

[Shaz51]

Aww hugs my @Appleblossom 

You have always been here for me right from the beginning 7 years ago and you too my @Jacques ❤

@Sophia1 , @tonys , @maddison 

[tyme]

Hey @tonys ! Long time, no see! Welcome back!

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @Appleblossom 

[maddison]

Thanks @tonys . I needed that. You gave me a smile, followed by a tear, then a few more smiles & finally a kind of breathy/snort laugh. No one is waking up from a nightmare. I'm not sure where your legs are ? 

I want to reply properly. I'm behind in my letters.

Today was bigger than what would normally fit into a big day.

Your letters were... Beyond.

Before you mentioned updates - I filled in the blanks with hungry faces. Wow - you are incredible imagery creator! I can still see those hungry eyes passing me by now - or is that me?

I will respond properly soon @tonys 

Paid in full. 

[tonys]

@maddison.   you sound good madisson so i let you sleep.   glad to see my words came to your door,  we can swap laughter and tears any time when you catch up...   i still have to google that song any way.    why do today what you can put of till tomorrow i always say.   sweet dreams ,   tonys moonbase one

[maddison]

Hello @Sophia1 thankyou for your kind& beautiful letter to me💚

I could certainly identify with so much that you were describing.

I thankyou, for the time & thought in your reply. Giving is a rare & special quality.

I see in you, that you can give SO much & with ease. Yep, we are sensitive souls. I happen to love that about me! I suspect that you do too. Why do we sense that parts of life feel challenged by this sensitivity?

And yet another connection, so clear & obvious welcomes us with warmth & love, guiding us with kindness to not be scared, - & continue forward. Maybe the kindness does not require us to continue forward - we can go in any direction we like. There is a space that speaks to us. I do believe it.... It's undeniable.

Where does that kind openness disappear too when we are lost in the dark?

I feel like it's always still here. Why is it so hard to see?

Perhaps there are pieces (☮️) that hide within illusion?

My personal hypothesis! For whatever it's worth....pennies?! Is that our thoughts & mind are at times our greatest challenge to overcome. Thought patterns... Structured belief systems...etc.. I believe the silly thoughts. I rely on my intelligence & analysis of scenarios. These thoughts, as completely convincing as they are - (good & bad, light & dark) might only be suggestions?

I was going to tell you something else...I think I went way to deep & now I've completely lost my train of thought?! Oh dear.

My words are not dogma! Are any?

I think what I'm asking is- I know you sense the wariness (I do too) from strangers. Do you have access to the thing that is telling you.... That you can see?

And that - ' the thing' can see you too?

Sending Moo vibes to all.

Ohhhh wow.. Nearly had disaster... Was looking for song for @tonys & my post vanished. Lucky it was auto - saved in my drafts!! I love that feature on SANE website.

It takes time, thought, energy to write to each other - so relieved it wasn't lost👍

I love that you have gardening @Sophia1 

I do art most days xx 

Thankyou for the rainforest... How did you know? 💚

If this the song you are looking for @tonys 

https://youtu.be/eMcFmWZyV1U 

@Sophia1 @tonys you are moo tiful to me 💚

[Sophia1]

Hello @tyme 

I hope that this works my sense of direction is as dire as my lack of computer skills.

This thread

4th November, 7.04pm

a post to Maddison

with the content trigger box blocking the photograph of two beautiful, innocent calves

Would appreciate so much.

Sophia1