Living with Ourselves

[tonys]

hello there @Sophia1   Boy ,   not sure you meant to tag me with that post to Zoe...

Hope you are Ok...   Maybe  doing to much,   If  your boat gets any more than ten holes in it,

you run out of fingers.     You need ,... and deserve a holiday  from it all.

not sure i understand the correspondence tween you and Zoe ,    re me,     Times like this I'm glad I'm not to bright........    But   ,  a space ship landed in the back yard last night,...

I looked at It, . . .   looked at my bottle,  and sure enough ,   by morning,     it was gone.

With the A2 thing I find Its best to not even try to understand things some times,....

You do sound like your just hanging on at times,  but I wont even think of prying unless your rescue flare is fired in my direction.....   Always in my thoughts...  here all the time if you need an island.

A chook flew straight in one window and out the other with the rooster in hot pursuit.   I new chooks could fly when inspired too,  but this was something else...   may be a sign..

Now if only i could figure out what made the big burnt circle on my back lawn......

Best thing about today is . . . . there's  always  tomorrow....       tonys   moon base 1

[tonys]

@Zoe7    Cheers  Zoe,   Thanks friend ,  opps... meant teacher.   See you in school then...  

Kind thoughts to you       tonys  mb1      

Over and out.

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Sophia1,

Was just floating past and wanted to say hi and see how you are getting on?

Hope you are doing well and life is being kind to you.

Warm regards,

FloatingFeather 

[Sophia1]

ahoy there @tonys 

I have been out on the submarine again.

Out of sight...

I very quietly borrowed the submarine from the waterways closest to your farm..

The problem was that when I berthed it to say hello I had my foot flat on the throttle and left marks resembling a big burnt circle on your lawn as you described..

Now as for the chicken ( still cannot get my head around the term chook...what is the difference please?...several ex farmers who live in this area and are members of my husband's sports' clubs; have tried to explain in their language and not succeeded...)...

I am left wondering..

if said chicken ..(this goes back to your last message).....(I know is very hard to write let alone keep up and comprehend)..

"that flew straight in one window and out the other with the rooster in hot pursuit.

I new chooks could fly when inspired too, but this was something else...maybe a sign"..

was in fact my sending up a flare from bogged submarine.

Unsuccessfully....

Hence the hobbledby gobbledy posts that I left a trail of and you could not make head or tail of..

Ever read Alice in Wonderland?...One of my favourite children books that has such depth...

Well best not to try to work it out...either Alice or Sophia1

Yes I have been resting from the forums not the real world..

quite the opposite...

Sophia1

Part 2 to follow

[Sophia1]

Part 2

Hello @tonys 

I have temporarily returned the submarine..

I did get lost which often happens in the real world so it might take you a while to find it..

Several forms of bird life and native animals are moving in..

You will be proud...

I have actually achieved much..

My assertive skills have been utilised and achieved results..

We are in day 12 since last major crisis and there has been progress..

I have managed to find an ally who has very similar philosophies; ethics and work standards to myself..

I spoke with ally letting him know that I could not provide any information myself however gave suggestions around generalised questions that might be of use..

Outcome below:

He interracts with my adult child on a daily basis now during the week at present...

He has also formed a relationship of sorts with my adult child...after setting boundaries..setting some structure...

Ally has received questions; discussions and even smiles ..

Ally has told me he can now see that adult child is in fact articulate and intelligent and there is more hope than first thought..in regard to assistance sought....

adult child has filled in questionnaire without help in far more detail than expected.

There are some wonderful surprises..

I am very impressed with this ally..

So today even though text messages from adult child have not changed much in content I have some hope..

What the future holds lies mostly in the hands of adult child..

Still no acceptance of original diagnosis; however is accepting some several new diagnoses which have been described in language other than mental health and I recognise why these are accepted...They are definitely spot on...

They are listening and learning ...

Will this last???

At least where he has currently landed he has experienced respect ....an opportunity to be heard...his needs have been allowed to be expressed...goals...interests....offering of help...

When I am able to..... I encourage my adult child to continue to strive for that better quality of life within financial means and opportunities offered..

This is hard for him to understand as his father does not think or act this way.

I

I want him to be able to still achieve autonomy  and independence within his capacity....to have a life with some achievement...improvement and stabilising of health...support when needed...guidance ...hobbies ....stability....new discoveries and fun yes fun...

This is where things are today of course...

This is also life for anyone really we have no control over tomorrow..

39 years I have been seeking help for him in some form or another still allowing him his space..privacy...respect..

So today I feel more settled..

Does any of this make sense?

Possibly not..

You asked me to talk to you and I am trying..

Apart from being tired...

I need to write without revealing much information out of respect for adult child and also not identifying myself...

If too hard please do not be troubled.

I am saying hello...

waving flag...

thinking of you also..

not sure when back...

write if and when you want to of course..

take care Tonys...

Hoping all of you and your farm animals and workers are as well and happy as life will allow..

there is always tomorrow

your friend

Sophia1

[Sophia1]

Hello @Emelia8 

You left this for me way back and I missed replying to part of your message

"

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Sophia1 

I appreciate you,  and the fact you are here when you feel able to support others.  Which you do so well, within your capabilities and boundaries when things are so difficult for you personally. 

I hope you always feel safe and welcome to be here,  any time you feel the need. 

Sending love and understanding. 

I love green tree frogs too @Sophia1 @tonys and we get a lot of them around here.  My little dog,  who I sadly lost to illness last year,  had a fascination for them too.  She would go out onto the deck and,  unknown to me,  bring them into the house in her mouth.  Then I would find her watching these frogs jumping around the house.  I finally caught her in the act,  frog safely in her mouth,  totally unharmed. 

Emelia

So beautifully written and it did touch me allowing me to feel the meaning of your words..

Thank you so much lovely lady..

You have green tree frogs too around your house..

They are special..

They also hold a special memory for you with your beloved pet who has moved on..

I hope that those warm feelings felt then come back to you every time you see a frog..

For me when I see butterflies I am being visited by my lost ones...family...sometimes friends...

..sometimes pets...

I know that you are struggling and understandably so..

recovery from any operation takes a long time for so many reasons on mind boy and soul..

Each day does make a difference even though it feels as though you are only going backwards..

So having been in long term recovery even though not for as serious an operation as yours I can certainly empathise...

I can also tell you that you will get through this..

I tried to find a picture of a garden where we might sit if I visited..

Of course my computer skills failed me again and my mindset is not being kind at all.

I know that you can relate to that...

So I have taken a photograph of some photographs of artwork in a beautiful old art book that I have that was originally printed and the cover bound in Italy..

I hope to be able to attach one of these copies today..

Here goes...

sending this via cyberspace hopefully landing safely in your postbox...

It does not work

I cannot save it as jpg or gif or whatever...

sigh

please close your eyes and imagine a beautiful garden in between 1830 and 1892

a young child is sitting quietly on a wooden bench doing some needlework..

there is a gate that needs mending....an unlevel pathway leading into what is probably the garden orchard and vegetable area..

Birds are feeding off of the ground..

We are sitting there looking in watching silently soaking in the serenity..

We are feeling the calm and peace..

We are silent yet can hear one another breathe..

Have some restful sleep.

sending you love

Sophia1

ps it might not even arrive there is the more frequent message of invalid HTML that visits me more often than not..

I cannot see anything untoward so will just press post and hope.

must go to sleep

Goodnight for now xx

[Sophia1]

I can see your fingerprint on part 2...

a lovely surprise...

I do not think that we have ever synchronised timing before..

I am usually in bed by now..

part 1 too hard to understand perhaps..

an attempt at humour to reply to a message you left days ago..

must head off to be or will pay for it tomorrow..

gardening I hope..

your friend

Sophia1

take care

[tonys]

@Sophia1   hey there Sophia .    Mate ,  All i can say is ,  I wish you were my mum when i was a kid.     Should make you mum of the year.   Your on the case 24/7 aren't you,  and god help anyone who tries to stop you.

Good you surfaced the sub for a spell.  Gotta recycle the air,  all part of the maintenance routine,  and yes is good to see a kite in my box,  especially from you.   Us sub folk,  gotta stick together hey.

Mate ,  cant fully explain what the difference is tween a chicken and chook.  After yesterday , a chook should be a chicken getting the cooking pot warning..!

Mate...   im proud of you that you recognise that you are achieving and kicking goals.

I  went down to the honesty box  today,  in one boot,   cant find the other,  [ people take fruit , veg ,  and leave the right amount.]   Well ,  there was a note in there saying ,   very sorry havnt got any money and needed some vegetables hope you will accept this instead...

They left a bunch off plastic flowers and a coffee cup and a heap of cutlery,

Well for me it may as well have been Christmas,  a battler out there , loyal humble and soo so  honest..  Flowers are in the cup on the table, noted on the fridge,  and my heart is glowing.

See  mate.  Its the little things we need to cherish,  not fancy cars ,  shiny goods,  and shiny people.   We don't need 3% growth GDP..    Just the small bits of real stuff we give of ourselves to one another.

Now,    swamp thing,   you useless  hound ...   what have you done with my boot...  !  SWAMP THING..   get here boy. . . . .   please

Making depth 300 mtrs ..   your the captain.   stay down as long as you wish or need to

Over and out......     tonys moon base 1 

[tonys]

@Sophia1 Gnite mate.    Sleep well   Tonys mb1

[Sophia1]

Hello @FloatingFeather 

Thank you for floating over here to see how I am..

I am looking after myself as I learn to live with myself and attempt to write to others on this living with ourselves thread..

I sometimes make a mess and that really just echoes the chaos in my real life and mess in my mind..

I do have the best intentions though..

When i first spotted your letter to me I thought ah you sent me a "floater" and then gasped and thought oh no I cannot say that...that can have another meaning ...

Then I thought write my reaction and share some lighthearted thinking..

Life has been very challenging and this year has  not started well.

Aside from ongoing situation with adult child we had a phone call from husband's son advising that his wife sent off by ambulance blue light in full performance and admitted to hospital.

We visited yesterday...

Thankfully she is improving and in there for a few more days...she is still on oxygen..

Upside of life I have unbelievably managed to enrol in some courses at various places.

Not heavy study have done enough of that..

lighthearted learning and fun.

Has not been easy I can tell you as some of these places are quite dysfunctional and communication is not their best asset.

My perseverance and follow up myself has landed me in areas that I am excited about.

I have also had some delightful conversations with those actually co-ordinating the courses or one off sessions.

I am chuffed, excited and proud.

Given that I have so much going on....my therapist has been away for three weeks and I have only had two sessions where I went over time laugh..of course...he is good...he recognises when I need it...

Even my husband is surprised and this outcome is lifting him as he has of course been worrying about me.

apologies about the book in response..

I hope that life is bringing you some rewards...gifts as you do offer so much to so many on here also...

Again thank you...

Hope to hear from you when you can given the vast size of this huge gathering of people each with their own story..

sending you warm vibes

Sophia1