Good morning DBT adventurers,
I confess that I have not written the next installment yet - mostly because I've been playing around far too much on the Christmas thread. 
My plan is to super work on Operation DBT over the Christmas/New Year period and then have all the remaining posts for the mindfulness module set to go when the world starts functioning again at the beginning of January. Poor @CheerBear, she truly thought the 24 week DBT program was going to take 24 weeks. Clearly she has never done anything with a turtle before!
@NatalieS I find it really sad that your psychologist would keep asking you why you don't feel safe. To me, that shows a lack of understanding of the effects of trauma on the brain. We can't talk ourselves into feeling safe. Our thinking happens at the front of our brain, whereas our feelings happen further back in our brain. Your psychologist could tell you eleventy million times that you are safe in her office and that isn't going to make you feel safe.
I had my first session with a new psychologist last week. She is the thirteenth therapist I've tried in less than two years. Finding a therapist who truly understands trauma is HARD. 
I spent most of the session curled up on her couch under a blanket, with my own soft toy and her teddy bear and weighted toy. I also got to choose which of the many other sensory objects she has, that I wanted to fidget with all through the session. She asked me early on in the session if there was anything in her office that made me feel unsafe - there wasn't. She also told me I could wander around and look at and touch anything in the office except for her desk. This approach made me feel safe. We probably won't talk about anything too deep for quite a while. Her focus right now is on helping me to feel safe, and yet I know we will establish that sense of safety without her ever asking me why I don't feel safe. We both know why I don't feel safe - because like you, the world has not been a safe place for me. Nope, I definitely don't understand why any psychologist would think you can make yourself feel safe by changing your thinking. The idea of changing feelings by changing thoughts is very CBT-ish. DBT (and some other therapeutic approaches like ACT) were developed because it was recognised that while CBT is fantastic for treating some issues (e.g. depression), it simply doesn't work with others (such as BPD/complex PTSD). The so-called "third-wave" cognitive therapies such as DBT and ACT build on CBT by incorporating mindfulness. That is, they still include a lot of CBT-based skills, but they also look at ideas like accepting emotions rather than challenging them. I wonder if it would be helpful to do some of your own research on the effects of trauma on the brain??? You mentioned that you find your psychologist really nice, so perhaps this is something you could talk through with her???
@Faith-and-Hope soooo my master bridge building consultant, what I'm hearing from @Former-Member is that you are teaching me social skills that are going to get me beaten up. Am I allowed to sue if I suffer physical injury while following any of your suggestions? 
@Former-Member I have to admit, I would want to punch someone who started a sentence with "with all due respect" too!!! I super like "I statements" - which, as an aside, I learnt from the DBT manual. Stay tuned for the interpersonal effectiveness module, which, if we continue at our current rate, we should get to sometime in the year 2020! 
Ok, that's it from me. Thoughts, anybody???
I use the following "I statements."
- I want...
- I need...
- I feel...
- I believe...
When I was writing my honours dissertation, my uni counsellor used to review the emails I sent to my supervisor because I had so much trouble communicating with him. K explained to me that although I was super good at using my I-statements, if you ONLY use I-statements, the tone can shift from assertive to aggressive. She said I should throw in a we-statement occasionally too. I found that super helpful.
@Former-Member how would you feel if someone started a sentence with "from my perspective..."? I don't mind that cushioning statement and I have started practicing using that one. I also like starting a sentence with "I can hear what you are saying, but...".
Anyway, that's all from me, for now. I'm super interested in hearing any thoughts/comments others might have.
@Former-Member I super like that one "I think you are saying x, y, z, however I think/feel..." I laughed a lot at your comment about stabbing someone with a highlighter for talking in the library.
@Faith-and-Hope Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh see, this is the problem!!!!! Everybody's different!!!!!!! Now with numbers, it is always the same. That's why I can do numbers and I can't do people!!!!!! All I have is rules, like K's rule that I should throw a "we" in sometimes amongst the I-statements. I can learn LOTS of rules. I can learn (and recite!!!!!) rules and subclauses of rules. But every darn person and situation is unique and thus I seem to have a remarkable talent for using the wrong rule in situations. It superly duperly hurts my brain, especially since no one will take the time to explain my mess-ups to me, they just dump me. 
@Phoenix_RisingI totally GET that we cant always have frontal cortex to control whole brain for sustained mental activity like uni assignments.... or dealing with powerful biochemical cascades within the brain.
A lot depends on the nature of the overwhelming feeling.
Sometimes there is no choice but to defer a task or a semester or a whole course .. and shift direction.
I love your tenacity. You seem to love the intellectual life and hold it in high value and only are able to function in it at 95%. I am a bit like that but I am also fine with 75% .. so I go with the flow more ... but only sometimes ... other times I just cannot .... there are too many competing issues for my attention. and my brain cannot put a sentence together let alone write a paragraph.
This is such a good thread to read ... I love that so many people genuinely engage with the DBT ideas and ARE BRILLIANT at pointing out limitations, problems or their own experiences. It is not just about having handy tips and strategies but working out what actually does help. Yeah @Faith-and-Hope a fruit salad of tips ....
Ha Ha @Former-Member love the thriller in the library ... very up my alley.
I have been away for a couple of weeks part darn NBN and darn life.
Good to be back.
Hi @Awpgirl,
Welcome to our DBT adventure. You are extremely welcome to join us - just jump right on in. The adventure started when @CheerBear @Zoe7 and I decided to buy the DBT manual at the same time a few months ago. As you may have noticed if you started reading the thread from the beginning, it isn't a terribly fast-paced adventure. That's partly because I'm a sea turtle and thus never do anything very quickly, and partly because CheerBear and I both seem to routinely find ourselves having not-so-fun adventures in real life that leave us feeling like we've been squished by a bus and thus the DBT adventure gets put on hold while we get unsquished. So...even though we've been DBT-ing for a few months, you haven't actually missed much!
In the first post on the thread, there are details about the DBT treatment manual and the DBT skills workbook. You don't need either of these books in order to join in the conversation though.
I have actually managed to get my brain in order enough to have been reading the manual over the past week and I plan to post my next post about it on Tuesday or Wednesday when the world kind-of starts to return to normal. I plan to finish off the mindfulness module over the next couple of weeks and then it will be @CheerBear's turn to start posting about the distress tolerance module (I wonder if she has started writing those posts yet... ). We are following a 24-week schedule from the manual and I think when we started, CheerBear had the hilarious idea that we were actually going to get through the manual in 24 weeks. Yeah...at the rate we are going, I'm anticipating a finishing date sometime in the year 2020. At least it gives everyone lots of time for reflecting and practicing each skill before moving onto the next one!
Welcome again @Awpgirl. I super hope you find the discussions on this thread helpful and I super look forward to hearing any thoughts that you want to share.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.