Just checking in.

[Bimby2]

Good morning @CheerBear and may your day go well. Bimby2

[Mazarita]

Sending so much love and gentle feelings to you, @CheerBear. The choice is clearly so painful for you. Once it is made and you have committed yourself one way or the other, the path will be clearer and much more doable. It will simply become part of who you are, which as we know always changes. It's natural to feel as anxious and troubled as you do at this time, in and of itself, let alone with all that has been happening around you lately. You will get past this into a better place. Please be gentle and kind to you. 

[outlander]

Hugs and hugs @CheerBear
Sending lots of these ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[Teej]

I think i need to ditto @Mazarita. She said it so well @CheerBear. 

Have faith that things will become better once you’ve decided. I think the decision is heartachingly (new word) terrifying for you. You will get past it and it will be ok again. I know this is really big but I know you’ve got this. You can do it and go on without having to look back at the what if’s. They don’t have to be a part of your future whatever you decide. Hugs and lots of them. 💜

[Zoe7]

@CheerBear There are no words that can help with what you are going through right now CB so delivering some of these to let you know I am listening and care very much...

[Mazarita]

Good morning, @CheerBear. Just woke again at this quiet early time, wondering if you feel like a chat this morning. As always, I understand if you are not up to it, or are still sleeping or resting. Either way, sending love and gentle feelings your way. 

[CheerBear]

Hey @Mazarita. I've been up for a couple of hours after crashing extremely early in bed last night (before 9). I've been sitting here with lots of big feelings thinking about all kinds of things. I feel sheepish but so thankful for the space and the messages yesterday here. Not going to tag anyone at this early hour, but I really am appreciative.

The sky was amazing when I first woke up. A strong southerly made the clouds fly past, high up in a very cold sky lit by a bright moon. The birds were up early and I had the company of a few feathered friends that, like me, probably should have been sleeping instead.

How are you going this morning?

[Mazarita]

Sounds like you might have had some better sleep than usual overnight, @CheerBear, always a good thing to hear. I've had about four hours so far, will be getting more before too long.

Probably won't make it to art group today, but will be going out later in the day to my physio appointment at the hospital, which takes me about two hours travel for the round trip, same as yesterday. Need a little quieter time today, as yesterday was another big one, especially with video editing. Another very big day out coming up on Friday, looking forward to it but need to pace myself. Hoping to get some more total sleep today than I have over recent days, even if it means continuing to sleep much later today.

Hugs for your sheepish feelings. Glad you are continuing to share your feelings here and that this continues to be helpful to you at this time.

The morning where you are sounds so lovely. Nature is such a good friend to us at times, and so beautiful.

I'm good this morning, feeling upbeat on the whole about the busy-ness of things just now and, as usual, calm and relaxed in the early morning. 

How are things for you today? What will you be doing if you feel like thinking that far ahead.

[CheerBear]

How did you get on with your psychiatrist yesterday @Mazarita? Sounds like a really good idea to pace yourself with the things you have on. Great to hear you're feeling upbeat this morning. The new and fresh of the morning can be so good for that 🙂

I don't have much on today except for an over the phone counselling appointment through a women's hospital. I'm hoping it can help settle some of the crazy jumble that is going on. I had my NDIS plan approved and sent to me yesterday which would have been a big thing had there not been other big things going through my head. It is bigger and much more than I could have hoped for or expected and I'd really like to try and spend some time working it out as it is just a mash of words and numbers to me right now. I'd like to figure out what kinds of support is available and whether it could be used to help me with the goals I dont want to let go of regardless of which way I go from here. It may be too much for my scatter brain though so I won't be disappointed if I dont do that.

[Mazarita]

Great news with the NDIS approval, @CheerBear. Hoping this really helps with everything in the long run. Sounds like a good approach to today, to explore more with the possibilities for you with the NDIS now, but no disappointment if that doesn't happen. An over the phone counselling session seems like it might be helpful and not too demanding of you while having a quieter day. 

Funny thing about the psychiatrist session yesterday. After saying it was going to be hard to fit all my news in, I had one of the shortest and most to-the-point sessions with him ever! Condensed the major events for me over the past couple of months into a very short account, ending with I am feeling pretty good at this time now. We agreed no meds changes. We talked about the year past for a bit and a few other things and then I was out the door again and back on the bus. We were both happy enough about things with me that I won't see him until after the new year.