Just checking in.

[CheerBear]

We were supposed to have some news last night but it didn't come. I think a nurse may have taken a guess that a doctor would be in during the evening and either said they'd come in like it was a definite thing or it was taken like a definite thing. The waiting is so hard 😔

@Teej thank you for your lovely message. I am really glad you got in to respite. I love your lobelia. I have planted some in one of my hanging baskets and it's an incredible burst of purply/blue. I couldn't remember what they were called until I saw yours.

Thanks for your otter hugs also @Faith-and-Hope 💗

Just got the notification that you're up @Teej. Nice surprise to see you. Are you usually up early?

[Teej]

So sorry about the wait @CheerBear, that is really hard. I went through something like you but not quite as touch and go last November when my dad had heart surgery. It’s agonising during the wait for info. Like you, I couldn’t go in for about 4 days because I was unwell. Crossing everything for you. 🙏🤞🏻

No im very rarely awake just now. I have had a rocky nights sleep. I will go back again for some more sleep later. 

[CheerBear]

Days are so long at the moment, like I imagine you would have experienced then @Teej. They had an MRI and CT yesterday, both which were pushed for quickly, so today surely they'll know. My person wants me to go in with them today but a lot of me doesn't want to for a few reasons. I am not sure I'm over my cough/cold enough anyway. I'll see how they're going when they get up and work it out.

Hugs for the rocky night. How are you feeling after yesterday? Sounds like a big day.

[Teej]

Are you up for some distracting news @CheerBear? It’s kind of positive and not sure if you are needing a distraction. 

[CheerBear]

Yes please. I would really love to hear if you're up to sharing @Teej.

[Teej]

Yeah. I must say I was blessed during that time that my brother flew over and stayed at their house so I had time to deal with everything the best way possible. He took the brunt of looking after mum. @CheerBear. I have to say it change him for the better. Ones mortality can have a profound effect I think. 

[Teej]

Ok. Yesterday I had lunch out with old best friend and the friend I have thankfully in my life. The three of us were always close. This is the one who was a victim and who I have have been grieving and feeling so much regret for @CheerBear. 

We ended up talking openly about it and disclosing stuff after 7 years. I started crying before I could speak and she was so surprised at my emotion. I got to tell her how sorry I was and how many regrets I have for bringing him back into her life. 

We talked about all things including asking her if she remembered the anniversary date (this is someone who doesn’t remember any dates whatsoever). She did but freaked out when I told her it was seven years. It was a huge step for both of us. It’s not going to bring us back as close as we were but it’s cleared the air for maybe some healing for both of us. 

Just tagging @Faith-and-Hope because she’s put up with this saga for years too. 

[CheerBear]

That's huge @Teej in heaps of ways. I think it's really brave that you were able to do that. Space and a chance for healing is always good ❤

Is that part of your rocky night last night? I know for me that emotional conversations like that, even when they have been posituve, can stir things up inside.

[Teej]

Maybe a little @CheerBear. I think it’s also hormonal. I woke up with night sweats and it’s hard to go back to sleep. Gotta love perimenpause. Just you wait 😘. 

I think last night when I got home I had the million miles an hour thing going on replaying it all.  I want to write a letter putting things down without emotion brain fogging it all. 

[Teej]

Lol I just read my post and giggled. I saw my perimenpause and checked out the meaning of peri. One of them was "about”. I think about - pause in men sums it up nicely. Also perimenopause sucks 😜 @CheerBear