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I think about you everyday and hope that things were better for you @Former-Member I really wish you could find some peace and happiness lj
I see you around here at times and my heart breaks for you - don't worry about replying or think you are no use/help because just knowing you are still around is enough. 
I know you (like me) don't like to ask for support but I am here for you if you want 
Most days that is all we can do @Former-Member 
I can imagine with work, the kids and 'everything' else - as well as being winter - that you have sooo much on your plate! I know you can't talk about much of it but I'm here to listen with what you can share if it would help. I know sometimes nothing makes a difference though - talking, not talking, thinking, not thinking, even just trying to walk - it all gets too much sometimes and it sucks!!!!!
Life just isn't fair sometimes - but it is what it is hey!
Oh yes I know how much needs to be done 'out of hours' @Former-Member
The whole system is now designed to 'burn' teachers out - and that doesn't even take into account our 'personal' lives (or not-lives)! I actually do not know anymore if I will ever go back. I know it isn't even on the radar atm because of how unwell I still am but it is also really sad because I don't know if I will ever be able to deal with everything that goes with the job - and not just the admin stuff but dealing with the kids and all the potential triggering situations that I used to be able to deal with objectively.
I am very glad that you posted tonight. You don't have to post all the time for us to know you are around. That like every now and then that comes from you ALWAYS makes me smile - because I know you are still around - and just like @Appleblossom that means a great deal to me.
I have actually been fighting exactly the same thing as you - wanting/needing/thinking about withdrawing from everything. I haven't looked at fb for weeks - don't intend to either. I have been on and off here - mostly off and very tentaive when on here - don't/can't ask for support - especially when there are others seeking the same - don't want to 'get in the way' sort of thing!
What training/study are you doing? If you can say!
Try not to think about it as 'your fault' @Former-Member - you have been through a huge amount and there was no way you could have done the training/study when you were so unwell. Also remember that you are working full-time and that is certainly NOT what was planned. It is a hard enough job as it is without having to return to work after a year away and have to go straight back to full-time work - and look how far the year has come and you with it lj - you are getting there even if it doesn't feel like it.
I wish I could do more to help you - maybe I could sneakily do the training/study for you lol
There is a 2 day course coming up next month that I would really like to do but I know I wouldn't make it past the first hour of each day (plus I don't have the money either).
One foot in front of the other when we can hey - and sit and try not to worry when we can no longer walk - easier said than done but I can hope for that - for both of us
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