Coming to terms with reality

[eudemonism]

Hi @Former-Member thanks for your kind and generous consideration of my welfare. And @Adek @Appleblossom and @@Vanessa5 im doing fine despite my emotional outbursts and back lashes which come back upon me through karmic energies. And hello to all else who are on this thread. My thoughts and prayers for your wellbeing, health, happiness and contentment go out to you.

With me, i think i need to make some mental adjustments and changes. Which will flow through to the psychical world. Stuff like, finally getting the bedroom tv antenna fixed so i can watch all the channels withno glitches. And, summoning up the energy, motivation, and resources to make some changes to my environment. Like, moving my bedroom from the front room to the back room. And moving the lounge room from the living room to the front room. And turning the living room into a proper dining room. (Where i can also do my art, music and writing / office area ) get rid of everything i dont need and want. And aquire some better stuff for myself. Like a nice kitchen table and chairs. A nice lounge suite. And other stuff like a desk top pc. A second tv. A new fridge. A chest of drawers for my clothes. And so on...

Also, I am going to start acknowledging what i am thinking. Why i am thinking it. And how to actively do something about it. Which gives me the desired results and feelings. Whether it be a walk. A visit to someone. Some good food. Or some creative time. I did some counseling about urge surfing. And acting on important stuff. Like socialising, exercise, good food, intellectual stimulation. And acceptance. And noticing negative thinking cycles... some assertiveness would be good.

and my interpretation of this is. I turn away from what i am needing and wanting to do for myself. And am slipping into negative fear based cycles. And suffering for it. Time and time again. And resorting to unhelpful actions. The power and influence this has over how i am feeling. My thoughts and actions is huge. Especially aftera downward spiral... and i cannot elaborate how "negative " and "fear " based my thoughts can become. Over the most basic and simple of stuff...

So my writing is important to me. My photography is important to me. My music is important to me. My art is important to me..

And my church based, community based, family based, and friendship based relationships and connections. Are also hugely important!

And my food and nutrition is also hugely important to me. The food pyramid. And having the energy, motivation and resources to provide and make, cook and prepare good, decent, healthy and nutritious foods for myself is also hugely important!

And also, outdoor activities and exercise is also hugely important to me. Walking the dog, hiking, gardening, fishing, camping, etcetera.

Also stuff like cleaning, house work, hygiene.
Social events. Having an intimate life.

And then having a value based target. I am working toward everyday! Being honest, honorable, showing integrity. Always working toward. Happiness, health and contentment. Practicing empathy, compassion, forgiveness, mercy, love.

It's a tricky little scenario to get right.

[Adek]

Hello @eudemonism. I am so happy reading your post today. It looks like you have been taking into serious consideration on the day to day experiences shared in this forum. I have also noticed much difference in your writing since the first day this 'bug' crossed this little system..hehe..

I liked your idea about changing your home interior arrangements and set ups. Sometimes that will create different vibes and aura (in chinese they called it feng shui). For example they believe our front door should be in the direction of sunrise, not facing a T-juction etc for specific reasons. Sometimes..it does correlates with health issues scientifically..and spiritually.

Considering you have a long list of thing u planned to carry out...perhaps you want to space them out as to not getting too overwhelmed and exhausted by them. The fact that there is nobody to set us deadlines whatsoever...for my case i love to set just 3 assignments for a day..am-noon-pm. Normally...that is inclusive of giving / taking / me time. Not all 3 must be accomplished but to be able to carry out at least 1 target of a simple task a day is an achievement. To complete all 3 is a credit. There have been days when i cannot at all give or take but that day will definitely be a me-time day nonetheless.

I hope things will change and improve for the better...for all of us here. And thank you for sharing and talking to me once in a while. I really appreciate it. Take care

[Appleblossom]

@eudemonism 

Feeling worth it to have good things and workable pleasant personal spaces is huge for me too.  I make a little progress and slip back but then push forward again.  I am accepting it as a thing that I am so ambivalent about everything, and not so self whipping about it.

I second @Adek Make your space work better for you. 

There are so many of us interested in music, art and writing. You dont have to post details but it is why I have a strong conviction that this modern society needs to listen more closely to its creatives who also may happen to be individuals who struggle with mental health.

I was interested in photography in the past, but somehow could not transfer my interest in it to include digital tek.  I am alright with that.

Getting suicidal ideation out of our internal world and pulling it apart a bit has been necessary to me.  That it can be done without over-reaction or minimisation and put down is important too. 

I will look up your mention of "urge surfing" sounds relevant to me somehow.

Take Care Apple

[Former-Member]

hello @eudemonism thank you my friend for respecting my request and letting all of your friends here know that you are safe

I too think that the creative side of our brains is so very underestimated

for me believing in my own abilities has stopped me from even trying art in the past

I would love to have a room set aside where I can make one huge artistic mess and walk away leaving it like that until my next visit

changing a few rooms at a time...with some help moving heavy objects so as not to injure yourself..is a brilliant idea

perhaps start with the most important to you? what are your thoughts?

you dont need expensive or lots of furniture...just more dusting....minimalism I think is the new buzz word and just adding your own ideas...

You have many interesting hobbies and much goal setting for your days...

I find that if I start with one aim for the day....if achieved...I am happy with that and dont beat myself up about what not done....a work in progress..

I work very hard at not setting myself up for failure or self-criticism as my negative thinking just seems to be waiting to move in. I am working hard at not taking notice of my negative thinking..saying hello to it and then telling it to go ...not wanted

@Adek @Appleblossom @Vanessa5

hello all....hope that you are all travelling as well as possible

how do you deal with daily stuff?

[eudemonism]

Thanks @Adek @Appleblossom and @Former-Member and @Vanessa5 ? I didnt tag you properly ...

I had to remind myself to lay down and just do nothing 5 minutes ago. Cause i was working myself into a state of confusion and anxiety. You know so i could gather myself together and refocus my energy. I was jumping from thought to thought and idea to idea and i was loosing myself in amongst it.
I will slowly but surely get it together and things will get better. I'll take a day bye day approach and always remind myself to lay down and slowly think about whats going on and what is best. I'm so proactive. And always thinking ahead. I loose myself in the moment and become very confused.
Stress and worry is a huge problem. I find so many things to stress and worry about. It's beyond a joke. I literally start melting down. And becoming impulsive. And loose sight of what needs to be done.

I had a drink and a bit last night. So im feeling rather sketchy and scattered this morning. I got up at 1.30am because the neighbours were yahooing and carrying on. Cars taking off. Doors banging. People talking loudly. So i had three coffees. Rang lifeline. And did a journal entry. Text the radio station. To bide some time and then laid back down for an hour until the birds started chirping.

Its a beautiful day here today. And i dont wanna waste it. My thoughts have been racing all morning. And ive done the complete circle. I'm thinking about bacon and eggs for breakfast. But need to duck down the shop quickly first. Ive thought about what i can do with the day. And was thinking. Visit mum and dad. Call a friend. Go to church. Visit a friend. Go for a drive to the beech and go walking. But it all seems to hard. So have just laid down. Maybe i could make it a rest day... take it easy day...

I'm always wound up in a predicament about what to do with my time! What decisions to make! Which only im in control of.

3 things a day sounds good Adek am noon and pm and giving receiving and my time. And definitely wanting to change the feng shui.

Photography for me Appleblossom is about filling the phone with photos and then emptying them onto the computer. And i mix it in with my walking.

And thats good advice mohill I'll think about how I'm going to make it happen and slowly start working toward the objective

[Adek]

Hi @eudemonism. @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Shaz51. Its a nice and cool morning here too. It rained yesterday evening and around 4am it rained again. So this morning the streets are glistening with traces of water, trees bright green and the sky is clear blue with strands of Sirus clouds here and there. I can see the mountain range very clearly today...still dark..tall and strong lining the horizon behind the skycrapers around me.

The roosters are crowing everywhere...one after another creating a melodious rhyme so soothing to the ears. Sometimes the magpie joined in..adding natural vibration to the air and picturesque scenery.

The sun is rising now..just passed 7.30am here. We are blessed with another day... another breath..another sip of water and sight of livelihood. These are all foc since the day we are born. We are blessed with another hope for a better day from dawn till night falls...

[Adek]

@ eudemonism. Am also having a "me time" today. Only late in the evening attending a spiritual talk on a book by a scholar at a friend's house. This is a monthly gathering and i like it most because everybody goes there for just one reason...food for the soul. Later refreshments will be served and everybody will hug each other before leaving. Not much talking among us but the air is filled with calmness, rekindling the souls back to the the whole purpose of life being and consciences clearer.

Its good thing you are visiting your parents. Perhaps swimming or yoga or cycling will do u good too...if you are up to it. Take care my friend. I wish u a great day ahead and better...day by day.

[eudemonism]

Whistling Stories 😊

[Adek]

Yup..when love and gratitude is in the air.. everything looks breezy and cheery from the 20th floor above sea level especially after a morning rain,😘😍

[eudemonism]

Hmm. Im thinking i owe it too myself. Too makes some small but significant changes. And value myself over others. And believe in myself.