not feeling good

[MDT]

that's ok @BlueBay
It is a testing time for us all and for you in particular. I think we see what you mean and understand where you are coming from.
My friend you are adjusting and employing techniques you've learned and need time to regenerate and cope. No one thinks ill of you.

[BlueBay]

hi everyone @MDT @Owlunar @Shaz51 @Maggie @Eve7 @Emelia8 @Faith-and-Hope @outlander 

and anyone else reading

i don't think i am coping 

i saw my GP this morning and just sat there and cried

he said my mood is very down, he can see that and again he thinks this hospital stay made me even worse

i thought in my head that i would be 'happier' if that can happen

but i am not so sure

i really don't know anymore

i feel stuck with 'what do i want in life' 'how do i want to feel'

i have no idea, what is normal, i don't know anymore

this lockdown is not helping at all

can only go for a 1hr walk

can't see family/friends

one person can only shop

can't do this, can't do that

wear those masks that make you sweat and feel trapped

i am sorry i am venting

what's the point anymore

i don't feel there is any time left

it's just all too difficult

if i lose my psychologist next week

due to 'their policy and procedure' of getting rid of clients 

if they don't improve

then i will be in crisis as i will have no one

i can't afford $130-$170 a fortnight to see someone else

it's ok for my psych to say yes see this person at my rooms

but does he realise how difficult it would be for me fianncially

how many times do i need to tell him

i hope i don't lose her

but if it happens then i will be very hurt upset and lost

i hope not 😞

[Former-Member]

Hi @BlueBay, 

Thank you for sharing how you are traveling. I am really sorry to hear how challenging things are for you at the moment. It is difficult to figure out what is 'normal' when there are so many changes happening in our lives (many of which are beyond our control, unfortunately).

If you are ever in a crisis situation, please contact Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat;  Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling; Samaritans: 135 247 or if in immediate danger: 000.  If you ever want to have a chat with someone about any of these feelings, you can also reach out to our counsellors at the SANE Help Centre. 

[BlueBay]

thanks @Former-Member 

i am ok at the moment.  

[MDT]

Hi @BlueBay
My friend I am sorry to hear how you are struggling today.

@Former-Member has tagged a few crisis lines if you needed them - check them out.

Never apologise for jumping on here and chilling out and chatting.

You're a great addition to the forum and people here want to support you

[Maggie]

@BlueBay  I’m sorry things are so difficult. The lockdown, on top of everything else, is making it so hard to cope with everyday things. We don’t like restrictions, and these have gone on for a very long time in your area.

I hope your psychologist doesn’t stop seeing you. It’s hard to start with someone else, then there’s the financial battles. 

You’ve had a rough trot lately, it’s support you need now. We are here with you. I know it’s not the same as real life, be we really do care. Sending lots of 💙💙💙💙💙

[Shaz51]

Hugs my sister  @BlueBay 

♥️💙💜🧡❤💛

Thinking of you lots xxxxc

[BlueBay]

Thank you @Maggie @Shaz51 

if my psychologist can't see me anymore I don't know Whst to do or where to go. 
If I went back to my previous psychologist it will be $130 a fortnight before Medicare rebate. 
I don't want to see someone completely new. That's too hard. I can't do it. 
I do think seeing a psychologist is still important. I don't think I could stop completely right now. 

I did a lot of knitting tonight. I picked it up again and am knitting a blanket. I'm doing panels and then I'll join them up. 

I'm confused in my head. I'm feeling very stuck. I am overwhelmed. 
Did I make a mistake going into hospital? Should I have stayed longer? 
I'm not sure. I wish I knew. 
my head is so unsure of decisions 

@Owlunar @MDT @Emelia8  @Angels333  abd others

[Emelia8]

@BlueBay 💗🍀🌺🌻

Emelia 🌸

[MDT]

I'm not sure @BlueBay
Sorry my friend I might be bette there tomorrow. I'm really quite tired atm
Please do take care