is it all in my head?

[Rick]

Hi Peace 

I'm Rick.

Let me tell you a story

IN my 20's I was a spiritual ecclecticist. I read self help books, bhuddism Taosism, Indian guru stuff,louise Hay, Kahlil Gibran and the Celestine prophesy may god help me.

And in all of these it all came down to a case of mind over mind. let alone matter.

I've had Complex PTSD since i was 9 yo.

Now these books told me that my past in many ways I brought upon myself. My present was simply a figment of my mind. My future would be glorious if I only understood these things and maybe send a cheque.

The truth turns out that as a child I was powerless to stop the torture. My present was a direct consequence of the damage to my brain and personality from the past. My future can really only get better because the past was horrendous 

the present very difficult 

but with love and support, and I mean real support clinical, professional social and familial I may well improve on the hand dealt to me.

It took 3 years of therapy for me just to believe I was'nt making this crap up and another 2 years to believe it was'nt my fault.

Mh NGos work on a new model.

It's called the person centred recovery model. The important part for you and me is the rovery.

Recovering does not mean an absence of symptoms.

It simply means finding a way to live a worthwhile life in a worthwhile way and because it's person centred we aere the one who get to define what that might mean.

You are not alone 

If you have'nt already refer yourself or get referred to a NGO MH siupport service. Contact Medicare locale for what's in your area. It's all on the net mate and easy to find. 

By you doing that much you are pushing for ypour own recovery and taking the bull by the horns.

If I May?

Fuck those stupid money grubby authors and their Hollywood bollocks.

What we deal with is real 

it a int a fashion accessory

Hope endures

Rick

[kristin]

Hi Rick,

Thanks for sharing that story. I seem to have lived through some of it myself! 

I still love Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet but never read anything else of his. Louise L. Hay & The Celestine Prophecy ring loud bells. Never made much sense of them - how being able to stare in the mirror and tell my reflection that I loved myself (or some such) was going to help with the pain I was feeling. 

They were not all complete and utter rubbish, they did have some good thoughts/ideas in them. But I totally agree with you that the blaming stuff was utter BS!

It can take a terribly long time to believe ourselves, rather than doubt. Memory is a tricky thing, and all the more so when it's been messed with by trauma. Stopping blaming ourselves can take ever so much longer, even without self-"help" books & others blaming us.

You are spot on about recovery. This we can work on, and it is worth working on. We are responsible for now, and for living the best lives we can. No one will do it for us.

Much is possible, even with a MI - sometimes because of MI. I write poetry and paint. These are mainly fruits of creativity as a result of my MI.

I agree with you about the bloody painful shovel too!

Cheers,

Kristin

[peace]

Hi @Rick. Thanks for your post. Yes I can so relate and know where you're coming from. I appreciate you sharing your story with me. I have kinda lost hope in there being any chance of me living life genuinely happy or even a degree of contentedness. I have done years of therapy of all sorts. The one you mentioned I have no idea about. I will try and found out about it. I truly would love more support in my life. As I am mostly alone. Have learnt not to trust. I feel a degree of safety here hising behind this screen. Thank God.

[Rick]

Hey Peace

Look dude I just wanted to add I know the feeling that happiness is impossible.

I feel it everyday.

Recovery is not about abatement of your symptoms. It's about finding a way to have some quality of life.

Happiness or contentment seem to me too far away. I don't understand what the concepts even mean really.

But hope for a worthwhile life I can understand. That's why I was a youthworker. I could identify with homeless young people because I'd been one for 2 years. I did good work. What I did was worthwhile.

Now I'm starting a new carreer in Mental Health Services. I know what it is to be mentally ill. I know I'll be doing good work. That will make my former experiences worthwhile.

Without the pain and the horror could I really empathise? Without the isolation, loneliness and loss what would I be? I don't know. But I know about these things. I understand hopelessness. I can empathise. I can do good work.

That is RECOVERY.

I hope Peace that you too can navigate your way through the pain and isolation and see that it makes you especially able to empathise with others who feel such things.

I don't like the phrase "Everything happens for a reason" but

maybe it just f*****g does. 

This is my hope 

and my hope for you Peace. You are the way you are because people need you to be.

If I've pushed too hard here I humbly apologise.

But your answering post touched me and I felt I could'nt just leave things as they were.

Hope does endure

Rick

[kristin]

Hi all,

Not sure where I should post this but thought I should share it - an article from today's SMH/Age here

The Age version is entitled "It's all in the mind". It's a wothwhile read- someone who's senior in the psych field who apparently more than slightly "gets it"!

Take care. 

Cheers, Kristin

[Rick]

Thank you for that Kristin

She has hit the nail pretty squarely on the head. As president she has the oppurtunity to perhaps force or at least advocate strongly for policy and practise change. 

To add to this, I would like to see a better understanding and acceptance of past mistakes in the sector and the destructive and traumatic impacts that so many deal with even today.

Some practices has been appalling even in the last 2-3 years. And current state policy regarding locked "open" wards is a part of that. 

The affect on service users has been very negative and needs to be addressed and rectified from a policy, practise and maybe even legislative points of view. 

I wish Dr Herman the very best and hope she will consult "consumers" to get a fuller picture.

As always in this case Hope endures

Rick

[Rick]

Thank you for that Kristin

She has hit the nail pretty squarely on the head. As president she has the oppurtunity to perhaps force or at least advocate strongly for policy and practise change. 

To add to this, I would like to see a better understanding and acceptance of past mistakes in the sector and the destructive and traumatic impacts that so many deal with even today.

Some practices has been appalling even in the last 2-3 years. And current state policy regarding locked "open" wards is a part of that. 

The affect on service users has been very negative and needs to be addressed and rectified from a policy, practise and maybe even legislative points of view. 

I wish Dr H the very best and hope she will consult "consumers" to get a fuller picture.

As always in this case Hope endures

Rick