Taking the plunge

[Maggie]

@Faith-and-Hope Eating disorders are SH adicting behaviour. My anorexia isn't body image as far as I'm aware. Though competition on the ward to be the lightest definitely was there. For me, I didn't/don't feel worthy of food, sometimes breathing air is greedy, but out of my control. Self hate. I believe from childhood. But like everything, everyone is different

Do you have a counsellor for you personally? You need support outside of couple counselling. As my social worker is an all rounder, could you find a social worker just for you? Do you have church support? I know when I was with my husband the church knew nothing of what went on behind closed doors. Then when he had an affair, I not only lost him but the church we were assistant pastors in. No one came to me. I have hundreds of whys, I'll never know the answer, then I walked out on the faith I had had for a lifetime, feeling forsaken by God also. If you have trusted church friends, lean on them, don't be afraid to do that. 

You have support here, lean here also, it's self care maximum. You are really in a difficult situation.

I can't get this song sung for you as I only have it on cd. Not available on utube.

My child I knew you before the world began

I was there everytime you wrote your name in the sand 

And lately I know you've been through quite a storm

But child I've been there since the day you were born

And I rule the wind Oh yes and I calm the sea

And the sun don't go down til I say it can leave

And as sure as my word I'll stand here right by your side

And if you're just too weak to go on

Remember child I'm your strong arm 

Now people will wonder and they'll stand amazed

They'll say you are a miracle and I will be praised

And even though your pain has been so hard to bear

Just know that I am with you and there's no need to dispare

And I rule the wind oh yes and I calm the sea

And the sun don't go down til I say it can leave

And as sure as my word I'll stand here right by your side

And if you're just too weak to go on

Remember child I'm your strong arm. ❣❣

[Faith-and-Hope]

Oh Maggie ..... so much heartache for you ..... hugs n hugs ......💜💜💜 ..... some people are unbelievable !! What does it take to hold out a hand ? Okay, if they have issues of their own and are battling, but that's not everybody ......

I have a counsellor I have been seeing, just to have someone I could tell what was going on, even though it wasn't leading to any solutions. At least it was "out there" and. Or just rrapoed inside our home ...... but just dealing with the counsellor I think is enough at the moment, and I don't want to spook WH by making a psychologist apt. He might start feeling ganged-up-on, just by the fact that he knows I am taking about him ...... but I will go back to the psych and give him an update later ...... cry on his shoulder if I am feeling like I need to.

And yes, support of church friends. The hard thing is that everyone can listen, but there is t much more than "I'm sorry this is happening"
that they can say. Just knowing that they care means a lot, as it does here ......

💜

[Maggie]

@Faith-and-Hope My heart goes out to you it really does.. Hugs and hugs back. Put you feet up if possible and listen to music if that's what you enjoy. 💞💞💞💞💞💞

[Faith-and-Hope]

I am doing a lot of that @Maggie ..... just tying to self-soothe my way through this.

Thank you ..... 💐💜💕

[Maggie]

@Faith-and-Hope I am lying in bed and realised something that just might gel. Grab a seat, you might need it. It's out there, really out there, and if you want it removed let me know please. Different personalities can have different conditions. Like depression, anorexia. Not every member shares every disorder. My counsellor has told me that not all my personalities are depressed. Also a few months back, someone one the dissociative identity disorder thread asked if its possible that some medications work for some personalities and not others. Makes logical sense to me. Not sure how the medical profession would view it though. I understand why some psychs won't go there. A very mixed bag.

I hope you read this tomorrow, I just had to get it out of my head, or I'd run with it all night. 💗💗

[Faith-and-Hope]

That makes perfect sense to me @Maggie.

WH appears to have what is referred to as Anosognosia ..... a complete lack of insight into being unwell in all the different presentations of unwell that we have got going on here, so it's as if one part of his brain is not talking to another.

He can only view my protests about his regimen as "having a go at him". He can't be reasoned with, including / especially litres a day CHSP.

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope ❤️💜❤️💜❤️💕🌹🙏 - thinking of you at this difficult time. Hope the new day brings you some comfort.  Are you still in the process of moving plans?

[Faith-and-Hope]

Sort of @Former-Member ....... it's more a reversal of hast we have been doing .... uni terms there, holidays back here.

[Maggie]

@Faith-and-Hope

[Former-Member]

You are living/travelling between the your two properties @Faith-and-Hope? Does that work well for you or do you find it stressful/unsettling from normal routine? I hope today is a better one for you. We are here for you x