SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

[soul]

Hey @Former-Member - I read your letter and was blown away by it. You have your reasons for not wanting it up on your thread but I am so glad I got a chance to see it as I now know you're going to be alright. 

I was so worried earlier today and was feeling bad that things I had written may have contributed to how you were feeling.

I cried tears of joy that you realise there is hope within you, that you know people here care about you. That you will be okay with whatever you decide to do this weekend and that your son will be fine because of you.

It took amazing courage and insight to write what you did and I want you to know that it inspired me. 

I have so much respect for you. I want you to know that. 

[Owlunar]

HI @Former-Member

I came in late to see what was happening - at least I can tell you that my cat did not have a melt-down when I got home this time - my daughter had been in on her way to work and played with her for a while ands told her to go to sleep and I would be home when she work up

And this must have happened - who knows what cat's understand - but I had a nice cat when I got home and I love the cat a lot and so this was appreciated

I have read that you have had a really bad day - hold on tight and keep breathing - your are certainly worth your place in the world - I think you are a wonderfully kind and lovely person - with a dysfunctional family - and things work against your for some reason - I know this is the way it is for some people - who can tell why?

But I care and I hope today has improved since you asked about my cat

Sending more hugs etc - maybe some hearts and roses

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

Just sending another pic

A couple of mates chatting - sometimes or other they turned into owls - I think - but I really like this pic

Dec

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Owlunar, you're a sweetie. Lapses can't be with you now as she's withdrawn but I'm here. She's struggling, needs help. Has nobody, so I come when she can't.
You know she really dislikes how you bring up Tawney all the time, and post the frogmouth owl in her face when she's trying to move on. It broke her heart to feel Tawnz under fire. Of cause having my post to her pulled down didn't help.

Tonight, just now, she's not good. Woke to a flashback of A&E the night her girl died. Oh it was so horrible. Did she tell you they secretly took her girl to the morge when she ducked out for air? When she got back the cubicle was empty and so called supports gone too. nobody connecting... She relives that as much as calling the ambulance and..
well. You get the picture. Tonights flashback made her have to run to the lou. but she didn't make it. She doesntbtell you this stuff. It happened earlier but in the day and she doesn't care to change. Sad really. She's back in bed now, warm again, still breathing fast but settling. You know, all the high paid counselling sessions the's done - not one of them have thought to walk her through that night. She's not good at identifying what she needs and thus asking for appropriate help.
If she lived with someone, maybe they could help let the health professionals know what's really going non here, when her personal care plummets and she wakes shaking and how she paces and paces and goes from one job to another, never quite finishing anything and the house is a war zone. There's even still dirty sauspans on the stove from a very a week ago. Shes lost focus. Potters or watches tv. Today was half a series of House (he made her laugh). Nobody can see how she really is. she's ashamed of her lack of discipline. Rude people and her unsupportive family haven't helped.
Tomorrow rrow she's down for 4hr shift at the shop. I don't think she's gonna come out for that. But maybe shell take that shower and 'fake it' another day. She's had a lifetime of that.
She needs to sleep now settled from flashback so...
Hope you don't kind me talking for her. She can't find the words herself but wants to communicate with you.
You have no idea how very very isolated she is. Its frightening.

[soul]

Wishing you strength to face a new day @Former-Member. Be gentle with yourself my friend. Accept yourself and just do the best you can. That's enough.

[Phoenix_Rising]

---

@lapses wrote:

Thanks Soul, Dec, I tried to connect with modz by email but think they're all busy today (what's new), just got
#1 reflective acknowledgement
#2 referred to other helps / services
- Lifeline telephone counselling: 13 11 14 (24 Hrs)
- Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 (24 Hrs)
- Emergency 000
- SANE helpline: 1800 18 7263
- Helpline chat: helpline@sane.org.

Eventually rang the helpline but they were 'taking other calls" but I left a message (that's the first time I'm brave enough to actually call them). Then I tried the sane chat - but it said "unavailable" Maybe they went home early. Or don't wanna talk to me, can't say I blame them, I'm a pain in the az, in the too hard basket (ever watched the movie 'Precious' ?) nobody can handle my experience, its too much, and i'm alone, seemingly beyond help - A scary realisation I usually pretend doesn't exist.

---

Hi @Former-Member, It sounds like yesterday was a super tough day for you. I just wanted to let you know that it was a super tough day for me too and consequently I was on the phone to the helpline for quite a while and I jumped on the online chat later in the day too. Thus it is quite possible that I am the reason you got the answering machine and online chat being unavailable. If you want to be mad at someone, you can be mad at me.

I know how excruciating it is when you desperately need support and can't seem to get it. I know the agony of calling a helpline again and again and pleading into the phone for them to just answer, as you hear the answering machine kick in. I'm sorry you experienced the pain of not being able to get through yesterday.

I know that the guys at SANE do an amazing job working with far fewer resources than they and everybody else knows they desperately need. I'm really sorry that you weren't able to get the support you needed yesterday, but please don't think it is because they didn't want to talk to you or that you are in the "too hard" basket. As I said, if you want to be mad at someone, you can be mad at me for taking up so much of their time yesterday.

I super hope today is a brighter day for you @Former-Member.

[Former-Member]

@Phoenix_Rising, Lapses isn't mad with anyone, especially fellow forumites needing support. And theres no need to jump to anyone's defense or feel at fault. She understands stretched systems - it is what it is, that's all.

[Former-Member]

Beautiful picture @soul, and kind words. Thank you

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Former-Member .... 💜💕

[Owlunar]

Hi there. 

Thanks for posting about @Former-Member for me - I never intented anything bad for her - I just care a whole lot

Take care of her - she is one of my special people and I wish I knew her in real life

Give her lots of hugs from me - I do know what it's like to have no where to turn - it can be really hard

I didn't see the post that was pulled - 

I will catch up with her when she is ready

Dec