Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Oaktree ,

I had an amazing day today. Lots of breathing exercises too. When I'm stressed, I tend not to practise mindful breathing. Hence, I try to practice it when I'm well so that it hopefully kicks into automatic response when my body most needs it.

Also, if you don't mind, I'd like to challenge your idea of "I didn't do anything". Now you may not have done the things you wanted, but remember, you can celebrate the fact that you DID get out of bed. You can celebrate the fact that you have been engaging in these forums. 

Thinking in these ways helps take some of the cognitive load off negativity, and opens a door of positivity. This has helped me in my BPD recovery. 

I hope I haven't confused you,

BPDSurvivor

@Former-Member @BlueBay @Judi9877 

[Hombre]

Today I am really in a mess. My daughter (who possibly has BPD but will not discuss tpsych stuff with me) has not spoken to me since Easter. She has sent texts but the last one basically said that she didn't want to hear from me.

I miss her terribly, and now she is in a COVID hot spot so I really need to know how/if she is coping.

The problem is that I am scared. When she replies with such rejection I feel suicidal (even more than most times) and I don't think that I can cope. I won't hurt myself, but the feeling is just so horrible, as you all know of course.

[moxi]

It sounds like you're doing your best even though you're in a lot of pain, @Hombre 

Do you have anything nice you can do for yourself today to give yourself a break from these difficult feelings? 

[Oaktree]

@Hombre 

Sorry you are in a mess today. You never stop worrying about your kids. I hope that you stay safe and find some way to distract yourself today.

Meggle

[Former-Member]

Hi there @Hombre, 

I'm sorry to hear how tough it is to be in the dark with your daughter. I really encourage you to reach out to the SANE Help Centre and speak to a counsellor for support on 1800 18 7263. You can also ring Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 when in crisis. 

Take good care,

Sphinxly 🐣

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Hombre ,

I know you posted much earlier but I wanted to give you some space.

From a borderline's perspective, when I said I didn't want someone, it was more like 'Get away from me, don't leave me'. What helped me the most was knowing that that person was there. For me, I just needed a txt such as "I'm messaging to see if you are okay. Remember I'm here for you if you need me"... or along those lines. 

What didn't help me:

- people continually phoning and txting to tell me what to do eg pick up the phone, answer me...

Even when I was upset and didn't answer, I knew the person was there, and that's what comforted me. In MY time, I answered.

As a borderline, I HATED being told what to do. My brain and emotions were sooooo out of control that my only 'control' was to rebel against what people said. It was my way of showing I was still in control. 

So in a way, I'm not sure your daughter's resistance is ultimately targeted at you personally. If she DOES have BPD, perhaps it's a way of asserting her authority? 

Please don't take it to heart. There is a beautiful person under all of it. It takes time to re-emerge.

Ive got so much I want to share with you, but im mindful of over taxing you during a difficult time.

Hang in there my friend. Im with you in this,

BPDSurvivor

[BPDSurvivor]

Above are common lines from a borderline, whether internalised or externalised.

BPDSurvivor

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[Shaz51]

Hello @BPDSurvivor , @Oaktree , @Hombre  how are you tonight 

Hello @Former-Member , @moxi  xc 

[Oaktree]

Oh @BPDSurvivor I really relate to the pushing people away thing. I am scared of getting hurt. If I push people away first rather than being rejected it doesn't hurt as much. I wish I didn't do that. I really want friends and a rich and fulfilling life. It's just so hard!

Meggle

[Hombre]

Hey, THANK YOU so much for this! It has helped me so much to understand. I think I just have to be brave and say I'm here.