Lived Experience Forum

[BPDSurvivor]

Dear @BlueBay ,

Of course you can tag me into your posts! I'd be delighted to share your journey with you. I also don't mind you venting here because it shows the struggles of someone with BPD. Many can learn much from lived experience.

In terms of your post, perhaps "accept" means to stop struggling and fighting against BPD? What do you think? I fought my circumstances so much in the past, but then realised it was a losing battle. This is when I learnt to sit with the discomfort - I guess this is to "accept" it? Also note, I don't think "accept" means to lie in defeat. I think it is more "accepting" the things we cannot change in order to change your situation.

When I teach students, I always tell them that difficulties and challenges are inevitable - it is not whether we have to not have challenges, but how we respond.

I'd encourage you to continue reaching out. It will help release some of the pressure building up inside.

Im here for you,

BPDSurvivor

[BlueBay]

Hi @BPDSurvivor 

I think for me, in my head, the word accept means it's ok about my brhsviour. But it's not. 
see my rational mind says - I need to accept that I sm who I sm and I can't chsnge myself. I can't chsnge me but I can my behaviour. 
then you get my negative side that thinks "accept" means i accept my behaviour, my childhood sexual abuse. Accept means it was ok for to be the way I sm. 

see where my constant battle comes to play. I get so confused. 

I need to find another word. Accept is  too final. It's like if I say accept then I can't do anything wrong ever agsin. 
is any of this making any sense? 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @BlueBay ,

I definitely understand what you mean. I don't think 'accept' means to grin and bear it. In no way should abuse be 'accepted' or made acceptable.

There is a difference between cognitively understanding what it is to accept something, and actually accepting something is.

Anyway, if it is becoming tangled in your mind, perhaps it's time to park it, and consider it later. I don't think it will do you any good to stew over something that is currently difficult to come to terms with. Have a go at finding some breathing space between what is going on in your mind and what you are physically doing. In that way, you won't be so caught up in the confusion.

Take care,

BPDSurvivor

[BPDSurvivor]

Dear @BlueBay ,

This is for you. 

There is a beautiful person inside you wanting to be loved. 

BPDSurvivor

[BlueBay]

Aww Thsnks so much @BPDSurvivor 

😢❤️

[BPDSurvivor]

Dear @BlueBay ,

I want you to know BPD is not a life sentence. There is a beautiful YOU we need to help you surface. It is there. You don't need to strive to be someone different. Some people may not understand your emotional need, yet there are people who do. People who have been there. People who have cried the same tears as you. People to have felt the same pain as you. People who have been rejected and unloved. I am one of these people. I've been down that path. It was a battle. Recovery was a battle. I fought long and hard. I've come out victorious. You will too. 

There is no victory without a battle. If you want to taste of victory, be prepared to battle,

The inner you is strong. The inner you is beautiful. The inner you wants to fight on.

SH behaviours are not a sign of failure. They are battle wounds. Suicidal ideation is not a crime - it is a diagnostic criteria of BPD. 

I will fight this battle with you. When you feel weak, just hang in there, and I will hold you up. When you have strength, battle it out and don't give up.

Practise the STOP technique:

S = stop

T = take a breath - reconnect with your breath

O = observe - what are you feeling? Where are you feeling it? Where has your mind taken you? What is happening inside of you? What is happening around you?

P = proceed. Proceed mindfully. Either continue doing what you are doing or stop what you are doing if it is not helpful. Before anything, ask yourself "is it helpful or harmful?"

BPDSurvivor xoxoxoxo

[BlueBay]

Thank you @BPDSurvivor  ❤️❤️

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Nells ,

How is MissBPD travelling?

Hi @Et68 ,

Welcome here to our BPD thread!

BPDSurvivor

[BPDSurvivor]

@BlueBay @Andrab @Judi9877 @WIP @Nells @Shaz51 @Aniela @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @Ellan @sanity41 @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @LouisianaM @Andrab @Theodora @Et68 

Hi everyone!

You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Judi9877 ,

How are you going? I know you mentioned that things were a bit tough, so I thought I'd check-in.

I'm on school holidays at the moment so I'm a bit lost without the routine. I do have an online course I'd like to complete during my break but I think I'm procrastinating. 

My interstate trip to Sydney has been cancelled due to covid which means I can't see family - again.

Other than that, I'm just waiting for the new year.

BPDSurvivor