Living with PTSD (Potentially Triggering Material)

[Former-Member]

@Wanderer ... I could never be critical for you for being long-winded in your reply.  After all .. take a look at some of my posts.  No, I didnt skip over any of your post, it is all good informative and helpful information which I take on board.  Your explanation of dissociation and depersonalisation was very enlightening.  Thank you. 

Dissociation is something I do a lot more than I ever realised.  It took my psych to point it out and explain it to me before I ever fully recognised what it was or that I was doing it as much as I did. She pulls me up occasionally during our therapy sessions, and points it out to me.  And I also recognise it in myself in some social situations now too (well not NOW .. but up until social isolation became the norm).  I often zone out when in gatherings (small sometimes, large often) and retreat to a safer place. Essentially I remove myself from a place I dont feel comfortable being in. As you described ... yes, its like looking through a dense screen, and not being a part of what is said and done. Almost like watching a movie I guess.  People have told me on occasion that I appear remote, I know others consider me to be anti-social.  They're right .. I often feel remote, and am not a social person at all.

I dont have a problem with you being a bit hit and miss on the forums @Wanderer .  I do understand how memory retention would play a big part in that.  Thanks for tagging me to your intro post and your ongoing thread.  I have read them, and now have more insight into all that you have had to deal with.  There is a lot!

Anyway, its been good to see you around the forums a lot more this past week.  Its always a pleasure to see you 'wandering' around.  Especially now that I can put a 'story' to the profile picture.

Its good to hear that your daughter is coping pretty well these days. As @greenpea said ... you are a good Dad, from all that I can tell and sense from your posts.  I hope school goes back soon, not just because she misses her friends, but also because it will give you a well earned break too.  Take care.

Wow .. thats some collection of collectable coloured glasses you have on display.  Hope there are no elephants in the room.  🤣

Sherry 

[Former-Member]

Everyone else ... I havent forgotten you ... I just havent got to you yet. I'm working my way through posts as I find the opportunity. Needing to do things in stages right now.  Will be back later.

Life is really difficult here right now.  Some use the description of  "walking on eggshells".  Well .. for me right now, its much more like "walking on hot coals" here.

[Wanderer]

X

[TAB]

I generally leave something even if its only an acknowledgement @Former-Member I re read post and not sure now why I replied that way, not because of length tho think

[Shaz51]

how are you my sister @Former-Member 

how has your day been xx

our tuesday customer has cut back hours but that is ok with us , what can you say xxxx

[Former-Member]

I'm okay thanks @Shaz51 .

Though Mr Sherry is soooo angry and volatile this past week. He is very unwell as he tapers off one of his ADs. I know there isnt much I can do, but gee I sure hope he settles down a little bit very soon. So tired of it all. Worn out from trying my best to stay out of reach and ignore things he is saying. He smashed a coffee table tonight, in a mad temper because I didnt come immediately when he called. I was in the bathroom when he called for me to pass him a back scratcher. I heard, and called out that I'd be right there. But .. that wasnt good enough. If I dont respond immediately .. he totally loses it. Of course I cannot ever do anything right, or ever be good enough.

Its all so tiring, so frightening and so demoralising @Shaz51  😞

[Shaz51]

ohhh my darling sister @Former-Member , that is soo hard xoxo

have you told any of this to Mr @Former-Member  doctor , I think you need to write when this happens for you my darling xoxo

[Shaz51]

ohhhh lots of hugs my darling @Former-Member 

[outlander]

@Former-Member 💙💙💙💙

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Shaz51  and yes it is very hard. I know Mr Sherry is suffering. But so am I.

No I havent told either his GP nor his psychiatrist. How can I? His psych is phoning each week, and his GP every 2 weeks. But I dont get to talk to them. He banishes me from the room, and tells me to shut up. Of course he doesnt want them to know how bad hes been. They warned him it would be tough, but I dont think he thought it would be this tough.