Am Not Coping

[Zoe7]

I remember your background @Former-Member - we chatted about it when you first joined here 

My 'backstory' is pretty similar - except the catalyst wasn't an incident at work but my illness. Similar to you though - all those things I had been suppressing (or keeping locked away) came to the fore in a hurry when I couldn't do anything physically to occupy my mind any other way.

I too am in 2 minds - being there today - even though there was only 2 other people there (and one was my mum) really made me question if I would ever get back to work and also if I wanted to go back. I really am stuck! I know I  am not well enough (an understatement!!!!) but is the questioning beacuse I am still so unwell or can I really cope in the system we have now longer term anyway (if I do manage to get back).

I just don't know 

[Former-Member]

@Former-Memberyou are not unhelpful at all! There are many types of schools out there and I worked in an extremely tough one. It certainly opens your eyes to a lot of things. Not all was bad, I had some extremely rewarding experiences there, but unfortunatley some very traumatising experiences too.

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member not unhelpful at all  in-fact it is nice to hear from 'the other side' ie a student's perspective and also validation that it is a very hard job we do 

[Former-Member]

Yeah tough environment for sure @Zoe7 @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

i went to lots of different ones

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7I completly understand the 2 minds part. I think it was extremely brave of you to even go there today. I only live 15 mins from my work and have to go past it to get to my mother in laws place. I purposely go the long way b/c I cannot even drive past it atm.

It is ok not to know @Zoe7, we don't have to have all the answers now. I have realised that I just need to take each day as it comes and if and when I am ready to go back to work, I will cross that bridge when I get to it. You are dealing with so much at the moment hon. Take the pressure of work of your shoulders. Put it on the back burner for now and we can cross that bridge when we get to it 

[Zoe7]

Every school has their 'challenges' in different ways @Former-Member kids are kids - no matter where the school is or how difficult it is to work in. If we treat each child as an individual then we find that there is so much more to them than just a name on the class list  Sometimes we find the most academically proficient have the worst background or the 'naughtiest' kid is able to do the most amazing work when they are not bored - every child should be treated as special and worthwhile.

[Former-Member]

yeah thats right and some don't fit in the box of school and thats ok too @Zoe7

[Zoe7]

I've been thinking about it more this last week I think @Former-Member because the sessions with my pdoc start in under 2 weeks and she suggested a goal is to get back to work - might need to revisit that one with her because I think that is putting more pressure on me (from myself) and I'm not dealing with it well.

[Zoe7]

It certainly is ok @Former-Member - that is when we, as teachers, nee to find alternative ways for kids to learn that best suit their needs - btw that is the part about teaching I love the most - being alternative lol