Am Not Coping

[Zoe7]

mods on the ball today/tonight @Former-Member - might need to ramp it up a bit lol

[Former-Member]

oh please no @Zoe7!!! I might have to start paying you back soon!!!

[Zoe7]

ROFL @Former-Member - spoil my fun Nelly lol

[Zoe7]

Hey @Former-Member are you up to talking about something a bit more serious? or would you rather keep it light?

[Former-Member]

No thats ok @Zoe7, we can go serious

[Zoe7]

let me know then if you need more 'dreaded triangles' okay @Former-Member

Here's my question then - how are you coping not being able to work?

[Former-Member]

hope its ok i hang out here for a little bit

[Zoe7]

of course it is @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7I really don not know to be honest. I have so many mixed emotions about it.

At the end of term 2, I had a big incident happen at work. It wasn't my first incident but the biggest yet. It was the catalyst for everything else. After that incdent, I then developed PTSD from work and then thats when all my childhood trauma came back. You need to understand that the high school I worked at was an extrememly hard place to work. Lots of drugs, fights, different races, race violence, DHHS involvement, child protection, well you get the picture. I didn't actually teach alot, but was in charge of middle school. OK that is the background.

So I am in two different minds.

1. I loved my job, still do and want to go back to work ASAP. I miss the kids (well most), I miss helping them and I miss when we can manage to save some of them. My hubby went and cleared out my desk and that devistated me b/c reality sunk in that I would not be going back for awhile or ever

2. The thought of setting foot in that place gives me panic attack and flashbacks about incidents that happened there. I had a panic attack over going there to clean oout my desk so hubby went and did it. 

So I am not coping great, but I am not sure if it because I miss the place or because I am terrified of going back there.

I hope this helps

[Former-Member]

I'm sorry @Former-Member I am going to be worlds most unhelpful person here I am trying ok
That sounds so hard and a tough environment, I went to a school that sounds just like that and I can't imagine how difficult it would of been to work at.