A long rave

[Maggie]

@eth  That sounds challenging. It’s so hard trying to educate people about MH, often they think we are brain dead. 

Go carefully. I know what it’s like running to the rescue, often though, I was left to drown. I hope your evening is restful, and shepherds pie tasty. Take care. 💙💙

[Zoe7]

@eth Don't have many words tonight so just sending you some love and hugs 💜💜💜

[Anastasia]

Hello lovely @eth 

Your garden sounds lovely 🌹

Sorry to hear about your support workers and the covid situation. 

How good is online shopping!!! I'm only new to it and yes you can spend hours. Keep smiling and love to read your posts x

[eth]

Hi to all here and all who've tagged me the last couple of days.  @Anastasia @Zoe7 @Maggie @TAB @Shaz51 @Judi9877 @DJMasters @outlander @Emelia8 @greenpea @CheerBear @Angels333 @Fluttershy1   And to all reading this.  I've been thinking of you all but had a difficult couple of days and just ran out of steam.  Hit the wall Saturday afternoon and again on Sunday.  Mostly things that have happened offline but something that really challenged me on here too.  Also included over-supporting a 'friend' who I talked about already here, the one that invalidated my explanation of bipolar and complex PTSD,  being expected to reply instantly and make myself available for my adult child on the spot despite what's going on for me, and another really difficult talking to by my brother (won't dignify it by calling it a conversation).  Once again all I could do was try to take in what he was saying and not verbalise how defensive, powerless and harshly criticized I felt.  Too much to type here.  I still have very low energy today, somewhat depressed and disempowered plus feeling like my situation living here is conditional and tenuous - which rattles me deeply.  

So I'm sorry I haven't much to offer anyone in the way of support at the moment.  

Lots more I'm struggling with too, re loss of support worker activities, stepping up our covid responses due to it being in our suburb (I'm in the hunter region of NSW) etc etc.  

I will try to read all your posts and respond where I'm able to.  

Hi also to @Adge @Teej @frog @NatureLover @Former-Member @Jupiter @Former-Member @MDT @Bezak482 @Faith-and-Hope @BPDSurvivor @Blep @Exoplanet @Mazarita ... don't even have the energy to continue tagging here.  So sorry if I've missed naming anyone, it's nothing personal believe me, just a sign of how I'm feeling.

Take care, stay safe and stay kind everyone.

[Anastasia]

Hello lovely @eth 

please do not apologize, I think it is safe to say we as a collective understand. I am sorry that you don't feel validated, I think that is such a big thing for all of us otherwise we don't feel heard or respected. I hear you, I really do x Keep smiling and keep your head up. Please remember to be kind to you. I see you giving constantly, please make sure you take as well. 

[Emelia8]

I'm so sorry to hear of all that you are going through currently @eth .  My kindest thoughts, love and a big Virus-safe hug are going out to you.   Please dont feel bad for not being here, when you need time to yourself.  Try to rest, keep calm, think peaceful thoughts, and ignore any negativity around you.  Hope these images can assist you with that. 💕

Well said @Anastasia 👍💖

Emelia 🌸

[eth]

Thankyou so much @Emelia8 and @Anastasia  for 'seeing' me.  And for the beautiful images.  Had a little cry just now.  Trying not to feel like a powerless victim here with everything that's come to light with my brother yesterday.  I really fear having to leave here as I've nowhere to go to, not able to afford open market rental, and have spent my life having to move in a hurry - I really don't know how I'd cope if it did come to that.  The waiting list is several years for public housing, and they haven't even contacted me since my application was completed and submited - around a month ago.  And I'm not up to ringing them at the moment.    Appreciate your care and comments more than you can know right now.

[Emelia8]

@eth  💕🤗💖😔

Life must seem very precarious right now with the uncertainty of housing raising its head for you once more.

I was going to ask if you had heard from Public Housing since you submitted your application. Something you finally accomplished during my absence I noticed. 😊  That was a long process to say the least!  I suppose it will take just as long to hear anything back from them now.  If worse comes to worst ... would emergency housing be an option?  I realise its unlikely to be in an area appropriate for your particular needs, but its at least a fall-back option if needed.  I dont know how difficult it is to obtain emergency housing at short notice however. Luckily, I have never been in a situation where its been needed.

It sounds as though you are still processing a lot of what transpired with your brother yesterday ... I'm sorry that side of things has not settled more than it has.  Little wonder you feel very exposed and vulnerable right now.  Sending a hug your way, and a shoulder upon which to cry on if thats whats needed.  Doesnt solve anything, but may provide some small comfort.  😢💕

Emelia 🌸

[DJMasters]

@eth Sorry to hear of your challenging weekend.  No need to apologise, we are here for you and understand.  As much as it doesn't seem like it now, do know you are valued and thought of.  Keep persisting, 🙂  You are always in a safe place here.

[eth]

Thanks again @Emelia8  and you too @DJMasters 

Em the application I've done has all the evidence with it that they need to decide if I'm eligible for a priority placement.  My support worker I spent an hour talking with this morning (on the phone as not able to do in person yet coz she got tested last week) has offered to do a letter for me about how I'm being affected in my current situation.  To send to housing dep't to go with what I've already given them.  Hopefully it will help more.  The sw was so supportive and understanding this morning and talked about how I don't have real choice and control in my current situation (the aim of NDIS funding overall) and even said that what my brother's been doing is almost a kind of abuse that should be reported.  That's scary stuff because if it did  happen I'd definitely be out on my ear.  She also is going to have a talk with my support coordinator about the situation.  I asked her to be sure to say that no-one is to contact bro or sil directly at this stage.  I hope it all pans out without more drama.  It's so hard to just be humble and listen to bro's stuff and respond with comitment to do more of what he wants when he's basically boot-strapping me.  And I'm feeling super defensive but have to control myself and not react.  So disempowering, that's why I'm feeling so down today.