A long rave

[saturnzoon]

Afternoon @Gazza75 am tired today,  didn't get much sleep as my 13yr son didn't go to sleep till about 3am and then had trouble waking him up for school. 

[Gazza75]

@saturnzoon, no wonder you are tired, thats a very late night/morning for you both.  Hope you can get some naps in today if needed.  

[eth]

Hi @Former-Member  One of the hardest things for me over the years has been working out what events happened in what order, where I was and when, that sort of thing.  It's only quite recently that I've come to understand just how much trauma messes with memory processes.  It's not as simple as just dissociating during an event, it happens in all sorts of ways.  And recovering some of it can be super painful.  Especially when the recently acquired memories contradict the story we have known for many years.  For me it's been like walking around with a bag full of jumbled jigsaw pieces and not even knowing if I had all the pieces.  All I can say now when I get confused trying to fit recently accessed memories into my lifeline is that there are some things I'll never know and I just have to accept that.  It's not easy but for me it is a fact of life.  I can only spend so much of my life ruled by trying to make sense of all the past events, beyond that it's really time for me to move forward at least in baby steps and work towards a better future, which I can see you are also doing.  Hopefully getting to aqua class tonight will help you get back into the present moment for a while.  Water tai chi does that for me.

Hi also to @Gazza75 and @saturnzoon 

[Former-Member]

@eth 

Yes ur right. 

The memories just wont return

I forced myself to do some piano & it helped me regain focus. I was fine doing lollipop job this arvo so ill b fine at aqua.

When ur in that state u kinda have to push yourself to do something to help bring u back to present time hey.

Its not too hot here doing lollipop duty. Most of the time theres a breeze.

Think itll just b feb thats the hottest & most humid here.being close to the ocean will always be handy tho. Nothing like a free dip

[eth]

Glad to hear your day improved @Former-Member   Well done getting through it.  I try to tell myself that when I have no choice but to do the hard yards it is less likely I'll have to do them again.  If that makes sense.

[Former-Member]

@eth 

Yeah it was probably closure in a sense. Cause theres nothing more i can do about it now.the claims r submitted. End of story.ill either get compensated or not.

This is funny but very sad too. Theres an old fellow here that got knocked down on his first day working as a lollipop guy. Think life was a bit harsh in letting him know he had applied for the wrong job.

[Appleblossom]

Hi @eth

Will check that Renee Eaves reference. Think it is important for me too.

Thx

 @saturnzoon @Gazza75 

@Former-Member 

I am glad your lollypop work helped, and hope piano and aqua did as well.

Your story was very brave and I have lot of feeling responses to it.  I cannot unpack it all now, but wanted to send a BIG HUG.  It cannot take away your trauma or the abuse and then the denials.  It is so difficult to speak out.

Singing is one way I continue to honour my voice.

Take Care

[eth]

Hi @Appleblossom  Hope you are well today.  I should have thought to tell you about Renee Eaves too.  She seems to be a very fired up advocate.  She's been in the media in Queensland a bit this week with a couple of court rulings happening.  If you just google her you will see some of it.  She was to talk with our womens group this week but will now be in court that day but we will def catch up with her at some stage.  So instead I've been asked to co-facilitate a discussion about recognition and recovery from abuse.  Quite a challenge and I'm surprised I'm not feeling more nervous about it.  Going over my course material from the living beyond abuse course I did 2 years ago has really helped me to see how far I've come in that time.  We're planning to spend the last 1/2 hour or so doing a grounding breath exercise (thanks @Zoe7 ) and talking about all the self-nurturing activities we do.  And finish with giving people a comprehensive set of contacts to use if they are still suffering or in abusive situations or want to take legal action.

Don't stop singing it up and using your voice lady.  I really admire your skills.  Doing this is a way for me to speak out and hopefully put the experiences I've had to some positive purpose.

Take care xx

[Gazza75]

Good Morning ravers 🙂

@Appleblossom @Former-Member @eth @saturnzoon 

Hope you all have a nice day.  Weather is nice here and I will be trying to get out for a few strolls.  Not much going on for Me, dreaming of taking a holiday or career break.  Feeling a bit over work. 

Sad about my brother, I don't hear from him anymore, he doesn't get back to me very quickly these days.  He hardly ever visits my parents and when I see him I see a broken man and someone that's a shadow of who he was.  

We/he are so lucky he is going as well as he is, but, its still a bitter pill to swallow.

Take care 🙂

[Former-Member]

@Appleblossom 

Thanks it certainly was a big process i had to go thru.

Finding a psychiatrist, trialling meds, getting written statement from psychiatrist of diagnosis, getting in touch with my mother i hadnt spoken to for 16yrs to ask for witness statement, trying to get witness statement from ex fiance. Writing the story of what happened

Doing all that triggered me upset me many times.

Its done now tho.

Piano did help. I was a bit quiet at aqua not meaning to b tho. A lady came over & asked if i was ok. Must have shown.

Im just a bit flat thats all.

Its hard to address something that u fought when u were 19 & didnt get heard. Thats why it was hard.

Didnt think anyone would take it seriously cause no1 did back then.

People react so strongly to it now tho.

Isnt it strange how peoples reactions have changed over the yrs.

Yes look up renee