Hi @utopia, in Queensland the public housing conditions are such that I am not eligible to even apply, sadly. I have looked into it in the past. We are just those kind of people that just fall 'between the cracks'. Not eligible for public housing, private housing a financial struggle. Thanks for the kind thought though. 
Good Morning @Mazarita, sending love to try and help ease the troubles; it won't fix anything or make anything go away, but sometimes, you know, troubles shared . . .
I moved around a lot in the Territory and Queensland , like you when I was younger it was kind of exciting, I had so much more energy. Life was a party, or at least a continual wiping out of sh*t. Having good and bad all bundled together just seemed part of life back then. I'm so proud of you, knowing you'll survive, I bet that's something you didn't have when you were younger. Us oldies have kind of earned the right to be a bit stronger and it takes strength to be able to accept things for what they are. Crap happens, often in bundles and far too much, but it happens . . . and then it's over. There's no running away from it, strike up another point for experience, whether you learn from it or not, it's another point. Where I live isn't exactly legal, at any point, if the powers that be wanted to, I could be forced from my own home that I own. But luckily for me, some people out here have made a real ruckus in the Courts and cost the Council money (and they still didn't win), so people like me have become kind of invisible. I like being invisible. So bring on the Toxins, not only do we have coal and coal seam gas and electric and ethanol plant, feedlots and cotton farms, but we might be getting a nuclear waste dump an hour from my back door. Suicide is illegal, but the Government can decimate us in droves. But that's not what's bothering me, I've know about those things for a long time (even been arrested protesting) I don't really know what's bothering me, maybe it's just part of a cycle. I think I've been worrying too much, I been trying to help here on the Forum and have 'let out' stuff that I don't let out. But it was my choice to do so, who doesn't want the sh*t in their life to mean something, just there life in general to matter - if showing what a Ioony am helps in some way, then all of a sudden it's worthwhile. I'm worried about my Child, I was so so happy for them and still am, but I know my Child and often blame myself for many of the problems they have. I know they're striking up points, but like you, I know those points can hurt. I remember going to a counsellor with my Child (my Child went through teenagerhood) and being told 'you just have to let things happen and be there to pick up the pieces'. I wonder if that counseller knew what it felt like to be in pieces and how hard it is for a Parent to watch that happen to their child?
Thanks, @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope, @CheerBear and anyone else reading this thread.
@Former-Member, it's great to get to know a bit more of your life story. Maybe I need to post long and self-indulgent raves here more often, to get you to tell these stories too. 
Yes, it is the energy difference from youth until now that has made a bit of a difference at this point with me. Even though I was much sicker with crohns in those earlier days, and so much more up and down with (undiagnosed) bipolar, I nonetheless rolled with the blows a bit more easily and, as you suggested, saw it more as part of life's adventure. Now I'm just tired of it all and want a peaceful place to rest and make little incursions in the world with what little energy I have left.
It's of course true that crap happens. I accept it at one level because what else can I do? At another level I carry deep resentments of a society that is set up this way, heavily weighted against anyone who comes from a very poor background, has been chronically sick and mentally ill, and has been below the poverty line most of her life.
In so many ways I have it easier than others. I was long a witness to the torture that was my father's existence. Like a caged beast, he took it out on mum and me. But, even being victim of that, I recognise that he was the one who always came out of everything the worst. He's gone now. I still love him and carry the scars. He was a victim of circumstance in so many ways. When things like this arise for me, I find myself thinking of him, ending his life so very alone, in a government bedsit, bored out of his highly intelligent brain. In his younger days he was spectacular: tall and handsome, a sensitive horseman, a writer of music and stories, artistically gifted. But none of these personal attributes help when you don't have the cash. To me that makes society pretty f*@ed.
I hear you about your child. I think my mum has similar feelings about me, even at this late stage. Not ever being a parent, I can't really know how that feels.
My situation is a relatively mild problem really. It's just my madness that has made it so big in my mind for now. I'll keep posting stuff here as the situation progresses because, as you say, it helps to unwind it from my mind here. But there's no real need for immediate worry with me. Until mum's arrival on Tuesday, I can sleep as much as I like, which is what I've mostly been doing since this news hit. 11 hours sleep last night, not counting breaks. Will probably be back unconscious again before the day is done. I don't care what any textbook says, sleep is helping my raging nervous system just now.
Watch out @Mazarita, I'll start thinking conspiraces! HaHa (only joking 🙂 ) There's a huge part of me that wants you to 'get to know' me, just as huge as the part that wants to 'get to know' you 😉
You remind me again of the luck I have had in my life. I was hardly sick when I was younger (except for self inflicted stuff) and still seem to avoid most bugs going around. Back in my day, I actually thought I was stronger than most females my age; and seemed to revel in male-dominated tasks - like it was my way of proving I was just as good 🙂 Perhaps it exasperated the problems I have now a little, but these problems would have happened even if I'd wrapped myself up in cotton wool - so I'm glad I did them 🙂
I think one of my biggest conspiraces is society, what it is really good for, who really runs it, how is it being twisted by what bad guys? I absolutely see money as one of the worst 'bad guys' out there! In a way, I'm glad I don't have it, infastructor as we know it, could end tomorrow and I'd have a much better chance of surviving!
Like you I believe I have it so much better than others. On occasions I scour the net looking for the worse case senarios. I still have all my limbs and some grasp of reality. My family, town, country has not been slaughtered and I can live and sleep without any real danger of violent domination.
My Father was an angry man, I don't remember much, but I sometimes find myself even being angry with my sainted Mother - she chose him and chose to stay with him; I look back now and believe she wasn't able, but she didn't protect us and even agreed with everything he did and said: because of her belief that the Husband was the leader of the family. I do love my Mother .. . and my Father, he wasn't always angy and did love us. The Human brain is such a complicated organ and the complicated rules of society make it even more difficult to understand.
Sometimes I think being alive is a constant question that we will never find all the answers for and would cease to exist if we did.
I don't think you need to be a parent to understand my worries. It has nothing to do with DNA, we all have someone or something that we deeply care for - just imagine the most important thing in you Universe tettering on a sharp edge, knowing how likely it is that they'll fall and what a mess it will make.
Your situation is not mild and you are not mad. You are one of the most complex, intelligent creatures on the planet; of which not one is the same as the other. Shelter is an essential survival tool and you are contemplating the difficult circumstances that you personally, and an entire class of peoples, have in attaining it. Sleep if it helps, I have a trust in you and believe you will act when neccessary and when it's 'right' for you.
Thank you Mazy, this really feels like I'm engaging in a conversation with a friend 🙂
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.