A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[Former-Member]

I know you feel like you want to give up. Me too. So let's not. Some how. @Emelia8 

[Former-Member]

Ok 

[Former-Member]

Night night sleep well @Emelia8 💞

[Emelia8]

Im sorry @Former-Member ... Im not ignoring you. Im just afraid to post right now. Thank you for caring, and for understanding.

Emelia 🙊💕😞

[Former-Member]

It's ok @Emelia8 

[Appleblossom]

@Emelia8 

Is it possible to have a nurse visit or a support worker for your husband.  ALl you should have to deal with is looking after yourself.

[Former-Member]

Are you there @Emelia8 

[Owlunar]

@Emelia8 

I understand you feel all sad-sacky Em - and that's okay - it's normal to feel this way when your family history with cancer is so close to you and so recent - it a good reason to feel so lost and alone and you truly don't have any support in the real world which is pretty sad too - 

But - for me and the other people in this forum - we accept each other with all the problems this world brings to people and we just gather people to us and hug them - how wonderful it is to at least have a place to come on-line and share our heart-ache - and you are here with us and writing too

Right now - I feel a bit edgy and fragile and the forum is supporting me with my health issues and my daughter's health issues - and this is such a good place

So please share your story as you go along - you have us at least and we will go through each step with you the best way we can

I believe in angels - and I have had them in my life - one special memory was when I had just had a mylogram and I was on a trolley in the foyer of a hospital waiting for someone to collect me - I felt lost and alone too - back problems just like my daughter's right now

And I didn't have my glasses on so a lady walking toward me looked just like my estranged mother - and I really thought it was her - and she saw my looking at her and came over to me and yes - she looked very much like my mother but she was concerned and kind and a complete stranger who gave me some precious time

I look for them and perhaps we are the angels watching over you - I hope so - I care so much

I can't help you with your cancer but I can be here for you in your isolation - and know you have to go for tests and things alone as I do - and I really care and I know how this feels and I am sending you all my love

Dec

[Anastasia]

My beautiful friend Em xxx

@Emelia8 

[Emelia8]

I have the feeling that this is going to be a bad week.  Its already started.  I had a 12noon dental appointment to finish off a root canal therapy for a badly cracked tooth.  It was started 5 weeks ago and my appointment today was to complete the job.  I just got a phone call from the dental practice to say that the dentist is sick and so will not be in.  My appointment has been rescheduled to 5 weeks away from today.  😵

I am so sorry everyone for not responding here to all your many caring and supportive posts to me over the past week.  It just seems like my life is on hold for now, treading water in a desperate manner.  Perhaps once I hear back from the Doctors on Thursday about my biopsy results ... maybe then I can move on ... whatever the final results are.  🌺

I've been thinking about what I was told at the BreastScreen Clinic last Tuesday.  Gosh is it really a week ago, that I spent all day there?  They told me at the end of that long day, that I almost certainly have cancer. They gave me information leaflets about the next steps.  They told me to book an apt with my GP so he could refer me to a surgeon and/or oncologist etc. 

But how can they tell me that, without having the benefits of the biopsy results?  What makes them so certain?  They could be wrong, very wrong ... couldnt they?  If I had cancer ... wouldnt I know?  So what made them so sure that this lump they discovered is cancer? They cant know! I'm beginning to have some hope that its all a big mistake and that my phonecall on Thursday will say that its all clear.

So again ... its another day of waiting .. life on hold.

Emelia 💕😢🌸