Hello @Emelia8
Oh my goodness you have an avalanche to deal with and as a human being are responding in the way that our brain works...
I really do feel for you..
This is hard...
Sometimes when we have so much going on it is hard to work out which bits are our mental health; which bit is the physical illness and which bit is the ongoing recovery process from surgeries in your case...
There has been so much loss in so many areas for you..
You have been bounced around and more...
You have every right to feel worn out...fed up...depressed...
Only you know whether or not you are grieving...different for all of us...
Loss brings with it grief..
You have every right and more to feel overwhelmed and despairing...
You are recognising this though..
This is where your strength is...
You are in touch with your body...your feelings...emotions ...
Yes you are in and out of depression as you have described and no small wonder...
This can be the minds way of saying enough!!!.
No more....
Time out...
You get through these moments as you have the courage and strength...
It might not feel that way now...
It is healthy even though horrible to let those emotions out..
Sadness....despair....helpless....even angry? yes that would be there if it is ready to emerge..
You are allowed to not want to do anything or feel anything..
Your psychiatrist or psychologist? I am unsure...at the same time you do not have to disclose if you do not want to..
They know how intense life is for you....
They also know that you are worth their time and efforts.
They rarely visit out of hours if at all without really feeling for the patient..
They know that you really need this support...
They are good.
For me I do not use the term that you are lucky...
My thoughts are that you so deserve this help....You have too much for any human being to contend with...
You deserve all of the support of so many of your friends here...
Your friends will respond as they can within their own limits dealing with their own issues and I know that you are one person who understands this..
Can I say one thing please do not put all of your hope into getting your driving licence back now...
If you do wonderful...
If not....
only means not yet...is for a very good reason...not best outcome for you...
not wanting to set you back further in your recovery...
healing vital at this time and that entails body and mind rest...
If you do not get the transport will your psychiatrist or doctor help in setting up a support worker or social worker?
These resources might incorporate driving you to places...
Moving house is a huge moment in life and takes up so much energy..
Driving does also...
During my years of rehabilitation I have and am still experiencing again that we are not aware how much energy our body needs on a daily basis just to get out of bed and look after ourselves let alone our home and garden...
This does not even take into account all of the medical appointments..
It is extremely draining and all part of slowly regaining our strength..
It is human nature to miss and want our autonomy back as soon as possible.
Trust in your inner strength Emelia and keep on talking to your friends here for support.
You also hit the support button for others which I know also helps you knowing that you still have that.
Remind yourself of that you can still be the caring Emelia that you are and offer support only when you can...
You have not lost that..
That is yours..
You are a survivor.
Slowly now....
sending you warm healing energy xxx
Sophia1
