Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hi, things have been not good for me and I can't see an end to any of it. Would anyone mind sharing if you've felt this way, and eventually found yourself happier than you thought you'd be?

Thanks 🙂

[Mazarita]

Hi @Former-Member, I have been in very dark places at different times in my life, and have found my way out of the deep gloom over time. During the worst of it I was suicidal. So glad now I didn't go through with it.

My life is not ideal. I still struggle with basic things on a daily basis. I have bipolar 1 and it is a lifelong illness. But, with help (starting with the help of this forum), I am in a much, much happier place than I was and living with my mental illness in a much easier way.

Really hoping things improve for you very quickly.

[Whiteknight]

Hi @Former-Member

Your approach might need to be looked at. It is common especially during a down period to dream of the day our mental struggles will end. Well, there is news and it isn't good- it is highly unlikely it will end. So what is the next step because if your expectations are that it will end or you want it desperately to end then you will be let down again and again.

The better way to be is for your goal to be- that I can reduce the extremes of my illness to a level that will make life easier to endure. At the same time when you do this you are expecting your illness to remain with you. You can even go further, in that you can embrace your illness as an asset (read some of my recent threads eg "depression, the wonder of it"). I have bipolar 2 and other illnesses. I've learned to accept that my illnesses are part of me, it makes me unique and it has provided me with creativity and an inventive mind.

Now there is much more to it than that. Some other ideas are-

• Being radical. Some people stick to their lifestyle forever, never realising that some aspects of it are working against their illness. This can be for example a toxic unloving relationship with frequent fueding. City living when your heart is in the country, a poor working environment, a career that isnt enjoyable, high debts and so on. Some issues can be resolved through radical changes.
• Spiritual or religious beliefs. Get back into your religious support services or just company. Or if a non believer seek out your inner self. Mine was discovered 33 years ago when I was told about Maharaji Prem Rawat and he has videos you can watch. He isnt religious. Google "Youtube Maharaji Prem Rawat sunset" and "Maharaji Prem Rawat the perfect instrument"
• Relaxation exercises. My favourite is Muscle tensioning exercises and I've been doing them for 30 years before sleeping every night.
• Fortress of survival. This means putting up a protective shield against toxic people (even family), better scanning of potential friendships and a best friend- a dog.
• Helping other people or animals. My wife and I get huge pleasure from saving injured animals. I also write poetry to victims of crime. Such activity carves a purpose in life and boost your low self esteem. Being active is good. Being active in the wrong fields isnt so good.
• Medication. I thought I had my mood stabilisers just right. I began to go off the rails late in the afternoons. I visited my doctor and he advised I divide me meds into three, one for each meal...problem solved. It can be as simple as that. Keep close contact with your GP on this subject.
• Hobbies and sports. At the height of a down period for me I had a large jigsaw in a bedroom. As soon as I felt bad I'd sit on a stool and do about 20 pieces. Wow! amazing how distraction can make you feel better. We also now actively follow a footy team. It fills up our plives with fun.

I hope I've helped a little.

WK

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Whiteknight, your reply helped me get a perspective on things. I think I've been a bit of a perfectionist in trying to get rid of/ignore the feelings entirely instead of trying to cope with them. That wasn't working 😕 

[Former-Member]

@Mazarita I'm sorry about your experience, glad that you're feeling better.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and reply

[outlander]

hi @Former-Member and welcome

i wonder if @Sans911 would be able to offer some advice? shes pretty inspiring

[outlander]

hi @Former-Member
ive just read on another thread your age. theres a site called reachout that you might be interested in as well. its for young people as heres suppose to be for 18 and up but welcome aboard anyway 🙂

whiteknight has given some good advice here too.

im not sure if you have another thread here or not but do you have supports for yourself?

[Shaz51]

Hello @Former-Member

Hello @outlander, @Whiteknight, @Mazarita

[Emz]

Hey Former-Member,

I have felt that way before. It went on for a very long time (maybe years.. all I remember is it seemed like a lifetime) where nothing seemed to be improving even though I was doing everything I could manage. I had been depressed for so long I could not imagine what it was like to be happy or even feel ok or safe. I thought perhaps that was just part of the human condition and other people were just better at dealing with it than me.
A few years later down the track and I stopped one day to realise it had all changed and that I was finally experiencing what all those functional people I had judged myself against felt. I wanted to live, I loved myself and my life. I felt what true everyday happiness felt like and it was a lot better than I had hoped. Not perfection (as many tell us is impossible) - but feeling safe and comfortable and able.

I hope you can experience this one day soon too. 🙂