Hi all,
@CheerBear and I have been having an interesting discussion about hugs and we thought it would be good to start a thread about this to hear other people's experiences.
I find the amount of hugging that goes on in the forums quite intriguing. I have a complex relatiionship with physical touch. For me, hugging is something that only feels ok with people that I feel super safe with and thus I find it interesting how freely hugs are handed out around the forums. When someone "hugs" me in the virtual world, I experience the same physiological reaction that I would if they hugged me in real life. Thus, if they are someone I feel super safe and comfortable with, I get the "warm fuzzy" feeling that is produced by the hormone oxytocin being released in my brain. Conversely, if it is someone I don't feel that level of comfort with, I get the uncomfortable you-are-invading-my-space feeling.
I am curious to hear if others have a similar experience to me, or whether virtual hugs are experienced quite differently to real life hugs??? 
Hi all,
Hmmm...well @CheerBear it sounds like people relate to your experience more than mine. Phew, good thing I've had 40 years experience of being the odd one out. 
I recognise that my way of experiencing virtual hugs reflects some of my muddle around attachment and touching. It's not weird or anything, just different. I super love being part of a community where different is so ok. 
@STORMGRL101 it sounds like in real life we are alike - hugs are super comforting but only from a few select people. Like you, I also find physical touch comforting (though again, only from certain people). The fact that (A) got over her no-touching rule and is now ok with resting her hand on my back for pretty much the entire session is the thing I value most about her.
Hi @Phoenix_Rising,
personally I'm not much of a hugger, but I secretly wish I were. When I see people giving each other hugs when I am out socially, it makes me feel good. I think "Oh, how nice. They care about each other and are not afraid to show it." I especially like how young people, these days, are not self-conscious with members of the opposite gender and are happy to hug each other, without worrying about how it looks to other people.
When I was a teen, I would have never hugged a boy, unless I liked him romantically! It seems silly of me now.
So, I think cyber-hugs are lovely and a nice way of expressing warmth to the other person. No, I don't object to someone who hardly knows me giving me a cyber-hug. It does not feel like an intrusion. I always feel that the expression is well-meant.
Within my family, we weren't really ever hugged, once we left infancy. I can't remember my Mum hugging me after about 4 years of age. It might have happened, but I don't recall it. I did not hug my sister or my brother, either.
So, although hugging looks nice, I find it hard to initiate. I think most of my friends are aware of this and don't push it. We usually give each other a quick kiss on the cheek.... more like an air-kiss, but the intention is good. 
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.