Help

[XTBH12]

Hi there, I am struggling to ask for help, and I don't really know where this would be categorised and this is basically a condensed version because it truly is a really long story. I don't really like sharing with therapists or people that judge me for expressing myself. I am a person who is well-connected and should be based on my career choice, which I find hard for me to express to therapists and face-to-face therapists, etc. But I really do not know what to do, I'm not endangering myself nor do I have thoughts to do, because life is precious and should be because of one storm should there be a quick solution, but I am crying for help.

I met a man 3 years ago and when we were first starting out he was literally perfect, in my eyes. Then over-time I started noticing things like women products in his house, his clothes having a "woman-ey" scent, earrings lying around, etc. 

But he has a long-time partner, who have an extremely complicated relationship, because she is an extreme narcissist and she is nothing but a bully. She sent him to see a psychologist, which was when I met him, however I didn't know this until 6 months into the relationship.

When she basically made him go to another state for a holiday, she went through his phone without his consent, and starting stalking me, screaming at him for information on me. Whilst screaming at him too, she has "pictures" of me, which I didn't know because my partner took them while we were facetiming, which she is trying to use it as blackmail to him, of saying "I have pictures of her".

Now one year later, she still trying to stalk me, she apparently wants to threaten my health because they have an "estranged" relationship and despite blocking her on every social media platform and ensuring my corners are covered, I still have this sinking feeling that something is going to happen, and it keeps me up at night, feeling extremely anxious and no matter where I go and what I do I still feel like she will do something.

[Ru-bee]

Hi @XTBH12 and welcome to the forums

It sounds like this has been a very unsettling and distressing experience. I think anyone who found themselves being threatened in this way would also struggle, so I feel that its quite understandable that this would be leaving you with anxiety and worry that this person may still be able to get to you. I'm sorry that you're going through this

Have you reached out to the police over this behaviour at all?

[XTBH12]

Not as of right now, I want to try and build a solid case before I take the next legal step. 

I think I would like to find some comfort on this forum and some support.

It does seem strange that one I’m full of anxiety, and next I thinking of the next step.

[XTBH12]

@Ru-bee Not as of right now, I want to try and build a solid case before I take the next legal step. 

I think I would like to find some comfort on this forum and some support.

It does seem strange that one I’m full of anxiety, and next I thinking of the next step.

[Ru-bee]

@XTBH12 yes that's fair enough, I know that going the legal route can be difficult so I hope that taking the time to build that solid case is helpful!

I really hope that the forums can be a space of comfort and support for you too, it's a lot to be going through and it sounds like it's been quite isolating. I'm glad that you've been able to reach out here and share