SANE Forums

[Kizzy2]

I am fairly new to this so I will begin ...

I have an ongoing situation in my work place.I believe there is favouritism 

I am so angry that this and some other colleagues get away with so much 

I'm finding it very very difficult to not react when I'm on the receiving end of their behaviour.it as taken me three days to calm down after an incident where this collouge stood outside a room early education  and refused to allow me to enter.

This is just one of many incidents with this collouge

Would appreciate feedback on how I can deal with my emotions 

[Bow]

Hey @Kizzy2 

work places can be a really tricky place to be at times. I haven’t worked in nearly 9 yrs since I had my daughter, but the job that I left, I loved, but similar to you, there was a lot of favoritism and a lot of things that happened that shouldn’t. 

what I found helpful was just being able to vent. I had some good mates that were work colleagues too and we often vented to each other. I would also download once I got home. Unfortunately there was a lot of things that we couldn’t do anything about, we just had to put up with it. I guess that’s where you have to decide whether you can put up with it or leave. 
Is it something that you could report to someone higher up? Pretty sure all work places have someone to report issues to. 

I don’t know. Sorry

[Kizzy2]

Yes venting is really helpful I know 

I remain angry I think because as you have experienced and know that things don't change 

I would enjoy leading a mutiny🤣 and make this collouge take responsibility for the appealing attitude she has 

I'm just hypothesising it makes feel feel a little power because it's such a disempowering situation 😔

[Glisten]

@Kizzy2 you’re recording the date and time of these incidents aren’t you?

You a member of your Union?

Workplace bullying is a WHS issue and can be investigated.

G

[Asgard]

Hi @Kizzy2 

What bullies fear most, is when people stand up and call out their behaviour.  You shouldn't have to put up with this behaviour, so note down when and what they did or do, and march into HR with your complaint.  The employer is required by law to look after its employees.

Don't put up with this behaviour, be strong, and let them know they messed with the wrong person.  You can do this........................Asgard

[Minkie-Rose]

Hi @Kizzy2 

As introduction, I was employed in people management roles for over 37 years. Unfortunately, what I learnt over this time is that hard work and conscientiousness often go unrecognized. Moreover, I learnt that a small number of people will deliberately undermine their colleagues, as a means of gaining favour with supervisors.  

With these considerations in mind, their might be benefit in you convening an initial meeting with your supervisor to discuss your concerns. In this regard, I recommend that you prepare some speaking notes and if required, take a support person with you. 

While not knowing the specifics of your situation, your colleagues attempt to prevent you from entering a room, is highly inappropriate. As such, you need to establish a document trail and touch base with a union representative and a member of human resources. In both cases, please remember that these people are there to help, and to adopt a conciliatory approach to discussions.

Lastly, it seems that your obvious resilience and coping skills are being tested by a person who is somehow threatened by you. As such, the key pillars of mental health including, getting good sleep, regular exercise, moderating the consumption of alcohol, and 'taking the time to smell the roses', are great ways to foster wellbeing and for keeping any unhelpful emotions in check. Subject to how things work out, making an appointment with a career development counsellor, might also be beneficial.

[Kizzy2]

Thank you so much it's given me an insight in to what is happening

[Jynx]

Hey @Kizzy2 just a lil tip, if you want other members to be notified that you've responded, you can tag them - use the @ symbol and a drop down will appear, and you can choose their name. If their name isn't there, you can type it out and it should then appear for you to select, after which it will show up in blue, like this: @Minkie-Rose