SANE Forums

[Lucylou1]

Hi there,

I’m wondering how others are dealing with a diagnosis? I received a Bipolar diagnosis nearly two years ago and am still finding it hard to accept. I am female and 57 years old. I believe I do have Bipolar following the mania and depressions that I have had, especially prominent and life changing over the last 3 years.

I have openly shared this diagnosis with family, friends and work colleagues ( I think I was in a mania doing this)

I thought there would be more understanding and awareness. 
What I have found is that once I was out of the very deep and suicidal depression, everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
My doctor took me off anti- depressants immediately as I was in a mania and felt fantastic.

I’ve discovered that although I was reading lots about Bipolar, no one else was. It felt like I was better now so everyone just got on with life. Even my husband admitted he didn’t know much about it. I’ve been on the mania/ depression cycle again and have put things in place with my husband and family to recognise the signs with a plan of action. I am taking responsibility for this disorder as much as I can (medication, therapy)but still fighting the reality of this lifelong condition.

Does anyone have tips for gaining acceptance? I really don’t want this life😔

[Appleblossom]

@Lucylou1 @Good on you for trying to be responsible for your feelings and actions.

Stigma and lack of awareness can also be laziness on the part of your social circle. Some people can’t be bothered listening or doing any empathy work and fob it off to professionals. When my son was diagnosed I did and still do the research… Eg into all aspects of so called treatment.

However I have been researching the general mental health field since the 1980s due to my family of creation’s diagnoses.

Finding alternative ways of understanding social and emotional issues seems key. Some take a more sciencey path others a more spiritual path. I kinda mix it up.

It’s a long journey and I wish you the best in it. Meds can take some of the edge off but often there are limits and side effects. Take care Apple

[Asgard]

Afternoon @Lucylou1 

Well firstly well done on owning your diagnosis and what it means for you.  I think the most important thing for you right now is that you are in control of your diagnosis and what it means and how it needs to be managed.  I too read up on everything when I got mine, so I was across it.  Family members are aware but as it doesn't directly affect them, I guess they show support in their own way.  As regards stigma, well its a part of me, so if asked I tell it how it is. 

The way I see it, yes I have a mental health issue, but I am in control of it and I manage it.  Trust me, as a 56 y/o man it has taken me this long to be finally happy in my own skin.  All the very best...................Asgard

[Lucylou1]

Thanks for your replies @Appleblossom;@Asgard 

I can understand how it is difficult for my family and friends, as I’m still trying to wrap my head around not just the diagnosis but my behaviours when I’m in a mania. 

But I do feel let down by loved ones who haven’t taken the time to really find out about this disorder and how it effects me.
My spirituality has been shaken due to it playing a large role during a mania.
I have lost that trust in myself which is really hard to deal with.

I don’t want to be my diagnosis….. I just want to be me again.

[ChouxieChou]

Hey lucky duck,

I don’t know about diagnosis. It seems maybe like you got one but had to cobble together a treatment plan maybe? 
it’s so expensive to get a diagnosis. 
would you please elaborate on your experience of what led you to diagnosis, your experience of getting a diagnosis and any resources you were given along the way? 

[Lucylou1]

Hi @ChouxieChou 

Over the course of two years I had two mania’s and two depressive episodes.

During my second mania I lost my job of nearly 30 years and ended up with a non violent related criminal conviction. Both of these things very out of character for me, resulting in lots of shame.

This led to a very long depression that nearly resulted in suicide.

Unfortunately even as a voluntary patient for a month at a mental health facility, I still wasn’t given a diagnosis.

Community Health felt like a Band-Aid.

It took me finding a new doctor who had personal and professional experience with Bipolar to get a referral to a good psychiatrist.

From a Telehealth appointment and assessment she diagnosed Bipolar. I was prescribed up to 5 medications at one point as they weaned me on and off to find the right combination.

Most of this consultation and appointments were covered by Medicare. Thankfully🙏

I had already been accessing a therapist privately who could come to my home. (I found it hard to leave my home due to extreme anxiety)

She charges me not much more than a rebated therapist and I can afford to pay her, so I am fortunate.

I’m sorry if this is too much information.

[ChouxieChou]

Oh darling, 

This was such a lovely and supportive message. I admire your vulnerability and thank you for you concern and engagement. 
I am so sorry that you feel shame for things beyond your control and have interacted with the broken and punitive justice system. 
I am sending you all of the good energy so that you may pick up your heels, prosper and move away from anything uncomfortable or horrible in your past. I only hope that you can remember though, as I’d love for everyone to live beyond the life expectancies and into the life stages where you have grown out of experiencing mental health issues..is this the late 60s or late 70s? I know there’s a promised land of just chilled relaxed minds, accepting and enjoying life. 
………then I want everyone to pen their memoirs!!!! Be they cautionary tales, tales of solidarity or to replace some of the literature in psychology that I kinda don’t have that much faith in anymore. What with the scandals in academia, peer reviewed research and literature analysis kinda seems a bit futile. 
If everyone has to make do with what little resources are available and have unique insights. Imagine the mental health of future generations! Tippy top! 

[tyme]

Hey @Lucylou1 , I believe the above message was for you?

Hey @ChouxieChou , great to see you 🙂

[ChouxieChou]

Hi Tyne,

Thank you and yes. That was for Lucy who told an incredibly brave story from a place of generosity and humility that touched my heart and will resonate in the hearts of so many people I’m sure! 
I’m just really bad at technology, I can’t see who I am replying to when the bubble pops up on my phone..so I am on the offensive with pet, love, darl. I mean no harm. This is how I’d address you if I was offering you a hot drink or a meal, and you would say “thanks bitch” and I would feel like I’m good at social interaction and a friend/support. 
I hope you all are having a wonderful snuggly night and doing all of the best and comforting cold weather things!

there was a song on Sesame Street when I was young. The gist was “I can’t go out and play” cos the weather was bad..far out, that song spoke to me. I didn’t want to go out and play, thank the gods for inclement weather!

[tyme]

Hey @ChouxieChou ,

We are all learning. 

We really appreciate your company here.

If you want to tag people into your posts, you can type "@" in front of their username - like this @ChouxieChou . There will be a drop down menu of people you can chose from 🙂

Please stay warm wherever you are in Australia! Chilly on my side in Vic!