im back..... i think

[outlander]

alright sorry that took so long to reply @Anony18@Faith-and-Hope

i think its ok though im not sure if the steroid cream is going to help considering my breast hurts as wel esp in line with the vein that seems to be leaking. But ive got to use it 3 a day over the weekend and see if theres any effect at all.
My gp doesnt quite know about my CSA but she does know a lot of my mental health history and is kind and gentle.
She helps me as well by making a few jokes to help me along through the session but knows how much is too much and only soes it where she can so its kinda like a normal conversation with her.
I know you wasnt trying to paly down anything (heart) I get what you were doing 🙂
my womens health nurse knows about my csa and I was comfortabel enough to tell her thats why I decided to go through her to get the exam done.
Ive been playing music and I went out shopping with mum not long ago which is rare for me to be able to do so that was nice. Im very much needing to study today too

F&H hows your headache going for you now? And I thought it would be easier to let people know it was me, though I wasnt going to come back so earlier but I was missing the good people on here. You are like family to me as are many others.

When I left I felt like I slammed the door in some peoples faces but I felt it was something that needed to be done otherwise the consquences of me staying. Its not that simple for me when I get that much into that sort of mood and state to just take a step abck from the fourms, sometimes I cant hold my tounge and ill go off which is extremeley rare but as I said once I hit that mood it really is like a volcano erupting
in regard to moving to a new shell though I think ive shrunk not grown though maybe having the resilience and maturity to know when to leave and when to come back and how to respond to these sort of things maybe that shell has grown abit
yes I get massages too and I kept thinking my meds were giving me headaches but it turns out im under that musch tension and stress ive taken to the habit of teeth clenching and now its hard to stop

[Faith-and-Hope]

@outlander .... remember that when people have posted on a thread, they receive notifications for that thread use, whether they have been tagged or not, so I have been picking up the other thread too .... it's okay .... it might help you to know that you don't have to keep tagging people when you change threads if they are on both threads anyway ....

People who have reduced their notifications will usually let you know that, but they will also ask you to tag them personally if they want to keep in close touch with what is going on in your life. Otherwise they will likely be following along at a bit of a distance, still interested and caring, but protecting their own state of feelings, and state of mind.

I have to do that a bit, so when I am not answering to every tag, or responding to every post, it's not that I don't care, or I am not following along, I am just cushioning my own state of being.

I have been here a year now @outlander, and I have naturally grown closer to some people than others, for a whole variety of reasons, so they are my first go-to when I see them pop up in a sometimes very crowded Inbox where I have to prioritise a bit .....

Just thought I would mention it to you because I think that may have been one of the things you were feeling a bit insecure about. You are much cared for here @outlander, but it can take an awful lot of time and energy to to keep up with everyone in the minute, so a lot of us only pop in once or twice a day when we are really busy irl, or feeling overwhelmed.

Gently, gently .... you're doing fine ..... 🤗💙💕

[outlander]

yes @Faith-and-Hope i was very insuecure about the taggin thing but i know now and im being as mindful as i can with it thats why i only tagged you on this thread rather than both threads so am trying to be mindful of that as well now that im aware of it. i forgot people got the notifications wven if i didnt tag them as well. im abit the same way too, im closer to some more than others as well and feel drawn to respond to them first as well

but yes trying my best, still very nervous about being on here so being very careful atm

[Anony18]

@outlander - all that @Faith-and-Hope said is so true. When you first come on it can be overwhelming. From knowing you thus far you seem like a really caring person for others who you don't want to seem rude by not responding. I may be wrong but that is the sense I get off you. The forums at times can be overwhelming especially when you get notifications galore (as I like to call it) but look after yourself and your own mental needs. If you aren't really up for responding or need a day or 2 or more off the forums then do so. We all want only what is best for you and will understand. We are here as a family to hear you out and support you  Definitely ease your way back into the forums. 

[outlander]

@Former-Member why did my msg get taken off here that i wrote to @Faith-and-Hope and @Anony18 not the one about the feeling nervous or the tagging the other one. i didnt find anything in there?

[outlander]

yes im in hiding at the moment @Anony18 though i dont think im doing a very good job of it lol

my post that got removed expalined alot of thing none of which would ahve been offensive so jsut waiting to see where i ahve to modify it before i can repost it so just bear with me until that gets sorted

BUT i do have a postitive for today guys @Anony18@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Determined@soul@Former-Member as of yesterday its been one whole month that i havent SH- and this is coming from them needing to have medical attention 🙂

[outlander]

Ahuh @Shamrock its up thank you

@Faith-and-Hope @Anony18 re the long long post just before F&H tagging post

[Shamrock]

All good just glad i found it 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Wtg re the no-sh @outlander ... woo-hoo ❣

You go girl .... 💐💙💐💙💐💕

[outlander]

@Faith-and-Hope ❤ ❤ hows your headache now...? Not sure if u seen the long post or not just before your tagging post but i was asking how u were. Did u go for a walk?