good news

[PeppiPatty]

hi All, fellow like minders,
how are you all today? some people may know that I have been concerned about my son who lives East from where I live. Last year, he had spent about a month in hospital with diagnosed psychosis. It was brought on by pot. We both have the tendency to go psychotic after smoking pot so though I warned him of the hereditary change , it is too hard to tell a 20 year old what to do and he was on his own journey. He was very happy to stop all support from this hospital...I felt too soon but it is his own journey.

He started Getting very scared for his own safety and went to get support from some family members who verbally abused him. When he got back to his home,, I asked him permission to go and see him for a week. He had seen his GP and seen a councillor as we had spoken over the phone about how he manages his thoughts.
I went there for 7 days and played board games with him for 7 days and came home.
I asked my my family members to text him every week and just remind him that he is loved as he didn't want to take medication or thought that he was ill. I then came home and got on with my life. I told him I am a concerned mother but could not interfere wth his decision making about his own life.

After over a month of no one hearing from him, my brother called him on the off chance that he would answer the phone.
He answered and said, oh yeah, I got in contact with a Psychiatrist once Mum left and you came to see me for a couple of hours and I see him weekly and .....I am always so busy because I'm working a lot.

From feeling so concerned about him....I was phoning Sane and of what Assistance I could get for someone just to go knocking on his door....All feelings have done a big 360 degrees and feeling so relieved.

I'm not able to do much for him because I have my own life to take care of. I'm feeling all these tingles going up and down my arms.

thought I would share. .....a time where I a learning more and more about caring for myself.

[Alessandra1992]

What wonderful news for you justanother47!
Those tingles might be the tingles of a mum knowing it is going to be ok...
You have done a great job advocating and caring, and now your son is growing up and taking charge of his life..
What a wonderful blog to read..yes, it is time for you to slowly relax..nurture yourself and my goodness, you will have to readjust to not being in a state of adrenalin when you think about your son...congratulations to you both! I hope you let your son know how happy you are for his progress!!

[Hobbit]

Justanother47yr,

I literally have a HUGE grin on my face as I'm typing this!! I am so happy for you, it's fanstaic when we get good news like this, some relief!!

I'm always telling people there is hope, but at times I must admit they can start to sound like empty words....although your news has lifted me right up to say LOOK EVERYONE...THERE IS HOPE!!

Good on you, I really mean it!

Hobbit.

[PeppiPatty]

Hello Hobbit , aLexandra1992,

Thank you for these lovely messages from you both. You know, I pretend to be 47 but Im actually still 46 years old....... A feral ordinary Mum, made many mistakes.... But I truly wanted both my sons to feel free to live their own journies.

One of the most important things I have found is that my oldest son; has been confronted with much much rejection ......beyond his control .....when he was 13 to 16years old. I felt that he needed texts from family he could trust to say, we love you. I really felt this was what helped him take those extremely hard steps......to see his GP, make an appointment to see a Psychiatrist and step up his work. I really feel this is not going to be easy for him but I'm so happy I just needed to share.

this is what I said to him that may have assisted him taking positive steps:

1: I was texting that my two most important things in my life were to stay safe and stay clean.
2: He writes (texts) oh, Mum, I'm not safe. I'm really not safe and the American ............."
3: I text. Oh right. Do you think this is normal ? do you feel that this is normal talk?
4: He writes: No.
5: I write. Oh right. how are you going to manage this then?
6: He writes, oh maybe I need to visit the hospital. see the Doctors who took care of me last time.
7. I write: that sounds good..um..... interesting.
8: He writes: Maybe I need to see my GP. And......(family member).......promised they would take care of me if I fly there and spend 2 weeks with .......

9. I said, oh right, well seems to me you have some good ideas to manage your day to day life. can you stay in contact with me??

When I'm writing this, I remember him calling and being scared about packing his bag and getting on a plane and the long gaps when I didn't know what was happening and then, being able to board a plane and visiting him.

I can only talk to him or do one thing every month because I have my own stuff happening. I do not want to get too exhausted. My relationship with the family who love me has gone through a change too. I called maybe one too many times and reminding them to text son. they seem to have a new respect for me. I live very happily with my doggy and partner in a lovely era but it was interesting for me to get these very nice calls from my family telling me how happy they are.

first big step taken in the right direction.
I so enjoyed reading your messages.

[Alessandra1992]

Sounds a lot like a healthy Change of relationships are happening in your family..what can better than that?
I especially love the way you supported your son through difficult times with texting and asking open questions and not telling him what to do😄
This is the kind of good news we thrive on!!!!!! Hope for us all that people can and do change,and often it is us that is doing the changing as the only person we can change is ourselves...thanks for sharing...