Seeking mutual support from carers

[outlander]

awesome @Bella1978

howd your day go with your mum?

[Bella1978]

@outlander
Hey sweetheart, how was your day?
I spent the arvo with mama and stayed with her while she had dinner. She was pretty tired poor luv as they had to give her something to sleep during the night. She is improving .. slowly slowly.
She's not keen on my sister visiting her tho which is a bit of a concern ...
How r u luv? Xxxx

[outlander]

my day hasnt been all that good and im not doing that well at all @Bella1978 

im really glad to hear your mums slowly getting beter. slow and steady wins the race hey.  you managed to get through today ok though so im proud of you.  

is there  a reason your mums not keen on your sis visiting? 

how are you feeling after today?

[Bella1978]

@outlander
What's happenned luv??
My sister is a trigger for my mum. I'm kind of caught in the middle relaying messages between them.
I'm feeling ok sweets. And i know mum is in good hands.

[outlander]

oh yes sorry i do remember you telling me that the other day, my apologises @Bella1978 

i dont enjoy being in the middle either. maybe itll just be a short visit and at least shes in hosp so can be monitored closely too.  is she visiting tomorrow? will you be there too? 

im glad your feeling ok loveley  

just caring problems with pop, family expectations and alot of frustration and pain about my fingers/arm/hand. my pop went right over my head over something weve been discussing for the past 2 months and hes agreed to and well aware of so now its causing more family troubles between me and mum and we already have a bad relationship without others help. and mostly struggling to cope with SI thoughts atm 

[Bella1978]

@outlander
No need to apologise luv 😘
You do carry a lot when it comes to your caring responsibilities. And you're not well physically which will naturally add to your stress levelsdo you get outside help with caring for your pop? From government agencies luv. I'm sure you would be eligible

[outlander]

no i dont get outside help with him @Bella1978 i just go to therapy myself and try to cope the best i can. he still manages ok himself some days which is usually when i would be resting but i dont get that rest wiht other family commitments.  i dont want to over run your thread here though so might do a better write up on the other thread. 

have you got something nice planned for yourself tonight?

[Bella1978]

@outlander
That's ok, you type as much as you want hehe
It may be a good idea to talk to your pop's gp and see if he can be assessed for ACAT - if approved you may be able to get respite for yourself, assistance around the house and general assistance caring for your pop. It's worth a try ....
X

[outlander]

thanks @Bella1978 

i cant speak to pops gp, as its still under patient confidentiality. being a centrelink/govt carer and not through an agency i dont have any access to that all and pop often doesnt let me into the rooms either. so makes it abit harder to deal with. usually hes ok, and i can manage ok its just when things pile up and basically only having one hand to work with atm its making it harder. he can get around himself hes jsut got other risk factors to worry about like falls. 

thank you for your kindess as well  

do you have any plans for tomorrow? is your sis visiting tomorrow- will you be with them both?

still doing your walks too?

[Bella1978]

@outlander
Ok, that makes it tough trying to get help in if you're not privy to your pop's info. I go to all of mum's medical appts with her so makes it easier for me in that regard.
I also understand when you say usually it is ok as generally mum is ok but when she deteriorates mentally it puts a big strain on me.
I'm going to try and have a day to myself tomorrow luv. No, my sister won't be visiting as mum is not up to seeing her - I told my sister that mum isn't up to having visitors atm.
I went for my walk this morning luv.
Hey, this will sound random but ... mum has a UTI - she gets them frequently and doesn't have the usual symptoms. I was speaking to one of the mental health nurses at the clinic and she was telling me UTI's in the elderly can cause symptoms such as delirium. She even said they have had patients present with symptoms of mental illness but in fact had a UTI. Once the UTI has cleared, they are fine. I googled and read that the following symptoms are common in the elderly with a UTI - confusion or delirium, agitation, hallucinations, unusual behavioural changes, dizziness, poor motor skills. I'm starting to question how much of mum's mental illness is affecting her atm and how much the UTI is affecting her ...
It's unbelievable that a UTI can cause such side effects in a person