Plan B for the Christmas period

[MadameMeow]

Well @Shaz51 my strategies haven't worked. My husband is about to lose his job. And he's just left me for a few days to get some clarity. I asked him to leave so he can figure out what he wants. It's hard with a young baby in the house for him to him to get the head space he needs. 😞

[NikNik]

I'm sorry to hear that @MadameMeow

Have you got some support close by to assist with your bub to give you some time out as well?

[MadameMeow]

My mum is here. And will stay for as long as I need her to. I just can't help thinking worst case senarios that I'm going to have to sell the house, go back to work when bubs is only 6months. Wean him off breastfeeding before that. I'm broken...

[Shaz51]

Hello @MadameMeow 

Oh I'm sorry to hear that @MadameMeow xx

when i had not heard from you , I was hoping everything was ok

Remember when we talked that you have support , please use that support, they and we are here for you

I myself can never plan , and my mind works overtime too

my mum tells us to sell the house and moved in with her but hubby would not want to do that

one step at a time my friend xx

[Shaz51]

Ok @NikNik

Three things I commit to:-

1. To start and Finish   a  jigsaw puzzle I got as a christmas present from a friend xx

2. Look after my health

3. Finish the book i am reading

Merry Christmas @NikNik @OverTheEdge     @MEB       @Carer101   @mohill and everyone

[NikNik]

Hi @Shaz51 @MadameMeow @Former-Member @MEB @Former-Member @Former-Member

Here is the Christmas Plan B template I was referring to in Topic Tuesday tonight:

Over the Christmas holidays, some Doctors and community based organisations are not available. Some might be just closed for the public holidays, while others might take an extended break.

 Before Christmas, list the name of your doctors and/or community based organisations (those you can rely on if things go downhill) and their closure times:

Resource: If you find a lot of your usual supports are not available, check out the Carers Gateway which you can search by postcode for some alternative supports: https://www.carergateway.gov.au/

Work with your loved one to develop a plan if things don’t go well over Christmas –

What are the signs they aren’t doing so well?

What course of action do you agree on if they display the signs they listed above?

• What strategies or distractions do they agree to attempt?

• What services do you agree on contacting if the strategies and distractions don’t work?

Resource: BeyondBlue’s BeyondNow Suicide Safety plan is a great app that your loved one may want to fill out or work with you on, if either of you are concerned about feeling suicidal. The plan can be emailed to you so you have a copy handy ( https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning)

 If you don’t feel comfortable having a conversation with your loved one - List some of the strategies (eg: mindfulness) or distractions (eg: a hobby, TV etc) that has  helped your loved one at times of distress previously:

Keep this list handy for suggestions if you need them.

Does your loved one have enough medication to get through the Christmas period? (finding out your local chemists Christmas hours may also be helpful)

If you are concerned about the immediate safety of your loved one, places to call include:

 000

Crisis Assessment and Treatment Team (Google to find your local)

What activity can you lock in that will give you some valuable time to yourself? (hobby, designate a day out, exercise, a place you like to go, a relaxing activity)

What support do you have over the Christmas period (friends, family)?

It's likely you have thought about a lof of these things above - but having them handy on one page can be really helpful if things spiral and you don't have the energy or brain power. Sometimes just having it there is peace of mind and we never have to use it!

If you feel comfortable sharing some of your responses, please do (obviously besides the details or your friends, family and doctors 🙂 )

Otherwise, feel free to copy this template and write up your own responses to keep to yourself. We hope you find it helpful.

[Former-Member]

hello @Former-Member

thank you so much for posting this.

makes the world of difference knowing that there is a contingency plan even if not used.

just having it there makes me feel better already.

bless you xxx

[Former-Member]

My pleasure @Former-Member, I completely agree on having a back up which helps to make you feel better even if you don't use it. Have a lovely break 🙂

[Appleblossom]

Thank you for tagging me on this @Shaz51

Still no Plan A or B 

I will look after self if that is all required that bit is easy .. but now its 30 years of me being over-extended waiting for others to come to the Chrissie party .. or to know where to go .. ha ha  .. 

My son is obviously feeling pressured too .. which makes me doubly sad .. I have told him I will be alright on my own and he can go to his dad if he wants .. he has already made his stand of loyalty by being with me for 5 years in a row. he knows that I am real about it. So his pressure is not from me .. but from various and many injustices in the family history.  I am not a guilt tripper.I get people off hooks and he is realising that is how I would have been and WAS with his father and DI and DI's biological mother and my mother and sister TS.

as there was far too much Legal and Social work excitement about the christmas rights of my oldest  - D1 .. bugger the younger sibs.

I am no longer taking it personally .. I just dont deserve the treatment .. neither does he .. so I see it as irrational .. and I am just unluckily on bottom of pile in randomness of cosmic natural justice.

We will see what happens .. I hope I dont bore anyone with my updates.

[Former-Member]

I'm not bored, just don't know what say in response that I feel would be helpful (coherent lol). I 'like' a lot as a form of validation. Its not much i know, doing my best.
Riding out a wave of paranoia atm, thoughts that everyone's angry or annoyed with me again, even in their silence - but its transient, it will pass. Soon I hope.
Thinkbwe gotta take a break, forget the world a while, it won't stop spinning.