New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

[Determined]

Thanks @Healandlove 

And my apologies. There was not much grace in my venting. Darling is doing better but mostly because I am going to try and hang in with current job. 

I don't see that as sustainable but 🤷

I had an interview yesterday. Hoping for a favourable answer by tomorrow afternoon.

Or early next week. 

Big commute involved but I see that as an opportunity to engage in some mindfulness. And some motorcycle therapy 😎

I don't get much opportunity to ride my bike in recent times so problem solved 😁

[Shaz51]

well done for the gardens @Determined 😎

I did some gardening this morning , have to remember not to overdo it 

hello @Healandlove , @8ppleTree , @Ainjoule . @Dimity 

[Healandlove]

@Determined I hope this new job works out for you and you are successful. 

I think looking at the positives in our situation is helpful.  Like looking forward to having that time away on your bike. 

I find I need to have time away from my husband to take a big breath and just look after myself.  Things have been going OK and just now all of a sudden his mood has changed to annoyance. It's hard.

Best of luck in your job search. I hope you are getting some time to yourself today.

[Healandlove]

@Shaz51 gardening is so therapeutic. I love looking after my little African violet on my desk. You do need to not over do it though.

Hope you are doing well and Mr Shaz is having good days.🫂

[Determined]

Found out today I was unsuccessful in the job I interviewed for 😢 

Not sure what that means for my current job. That is not sustainable long term. I will have a breakdown under the current arrangements unless I set and maintain clear boundaries.  

[Determined]

Had a photo pop up in photo memories today from 7 years ago.  Triggered a few unpleasant memories. Each year I think I should delete it. But in the end decide to keep it to remind me of how far we have come. 

Photo is of my darling. Looking really unwell. The  photo was taken on a family picnic while on a short release from a mental health ward.

I often wonder why I would take such a photo. But reality it was probably because her appearance at the time was normal.

I would liken it to the appearance of my Dad in the days before he passed from cancer. (Darlings issues were mental health related not cancer) .

Feeling 🥺:nauseated_face:😥🥹

[Determined]

This is relevant at the moment because my current job is not sustainable. It is affecting my health. De ja vu.

This happened before Darlings mental break down. I suffered a burnout and was unable to work. This while not caused,.contributed to Darlings breakdown. 

Sooo much to consider. 

I love my job, I like most of.the people I work with but management is abysmal. Nepotism rules supreme. 

[rav3n]

hey @Determined so sorry to hear that the photo triggered some unpleasant memories. sometimes in the 'present' we see things differently and when we look back at the past, we notice the changes. it's okay that we didn't notice earlier, sometimes its really hard to notice these things until times past - its very human of you. i can see that you really care about your Darling 💗

that's tough about your job, is it possible to take some leave? feeling overwhelmed and burntout can definitely be a lot, and i really hope you're able to take some breaks to look after yourself. please do reach out for support too!! do you have a self-care activity for tonight? 

[Determined]

@rav3n 
I have just come off 2 weeks leave from work.
Returned to a new structure. New structure is not working at all as promised.
My supervisor quit before the break (as a protest to organisational culture and lack of value).  

Self care activity for this morning was riding my motorbike to work. My son who usually comes with me on the work commute for his school commute is out for the day. So I rode my bike in and headed in the wrong direction adding 15 mins to the commute. This afternoon I am planning to turn a 15 minute commute into an hour 😎

The plan with work not communicated with anyone other than EAP counsellor is to give it a 2 week trail and if it is not working quit. I have no sick leave, it has all been used supporting family.
And management is already looking for ways to prove I am surplus to needs, I don't want to take too much time out and help them in that cause. 

[rav3n]

@Determined ahh i see, the new changes to the structure can definitely take some time to adjust to, how's the trial going for you now? the new structure still not working? 

that really sucks that the communication wasn't made clear to everyone! i'm so sorry you've had to deal with all this at your workplace, i can see why taking leave can be tough right now. have you been able to discuss your feelings about this with your EAP counsellor?

glad you've got your self-care, riding your motorbike sounds fun, enjoy that extra commute!! what kind of motorbike do you ride?