My wife has Schizophrenia

[JoeTheLion]

Hi @Broken51

Welcome to the Forum and thanks for sharing your story.

That is a huge load you are carrying. I hope you are finding time for yourself, taking time out and looking after your self care. One of the things you can control is doing things that help you to cope and looking after yourself as best you can.

I hope that you will find the forums to be a supportive place for exploring all these issues. Just a tip, if you are replying to someone or wanting to notify or touch base with someone, place an @ before their username, as in @Broken51

All the best

Joe The Lion

[Shaz51]

Hello @bre78, @Broken51, @Former-Member, @Cord , how are you today , sending you all hugs

[Shaz51]

Hello @Muddles17,

@bre78, @Broken51, @Cord have partners with Schizophrenia

[Cord]

Your situation is very similar to mine. I worked in a hospital for a year with mental patients, I also worked in a mental institution, and a jail for 3 years so I have some experience with schizophrenia and bipolar people. You can't be both bipolar and schizaphrenic. I have been told this by several psychiatrist. The difference is bipolar patients experience the same things as everyone around them. Schizophrenic patients are delirious and are not experiencing the same things as everyone else (Aliens, people that aren't there, etc.) It sounds like she is schizophrenic. You asked if you should tell her the truth, but you seemed that you are worried she may get mad on you being honest (which is a reasonable assumption). Yes, you should be honest. She needs to know she needs help. You might could tell her to go to marriage counseling to get her to get her help with her mentality. It's not your fault if she gets upset. I think you would be doing it for the right reasons. You sound like you really care for her. You are staying with her through all this. I understand. I have the same problem. 

[PeppiPatty]

Gee @Cord

you write from a wealth of knowledge ; 

hello @Broken51

@Cord @bre78@Shaz51@JoeTheLion

my oldest son ..... at grade 5: was pulled up by his silly grade 5 teacher telling me that he had ADHD. So began his journey into Psychotherapy for a long time. He was  angry : I went through a very difficult divorce and his younger brother was medically very ill. 

After being mentally abused badly by his father from ages 12 to 15 he ended up going to live with my brother In another state in Australia and at age 18 began smoking pot. He was being placed in locked wards for going Psychotic for long periods of time. 

I was flying over to visit once per year when he gave me permission to visit. 

My suggestion is to 

1: get stronger by looking at your own support network. I personally get support by just listening to Jon Kabat Zinn on utube “ wherever you go, there you are.” 

2: writing. Timetable and popping it on your fridge. Ie : 

7am : wake up. 

7.15 am . Shower 

8am : coffee ☕️ 

8:15am breakfast 

9am jog to work 

etc, 

[Cord]

My wife smokes alot of pot and she is definitely much calmer when she is not high. Pot is legal in Oregon and she is not going to stop. I'm having to move out by next week because she keeps yelling in the middle of the night and it caused the neighbors to complain. It just keeps getting worse.

[PeppiPatty]

It's a shame @Cord that there are things working aainst you.........

I wonder if you have thought about not just any love that you have for your wife but :

1. How are you going to stay safe?

2. Is she capable to think about safety for herself? 

3. I remember that you have a pretty cool record of work in  health behind you. Does this give you any perks like:

seeing an advocate or a 'sounding board,' person? 

My husband is going through a journey as his medication is being changed. 

I am always reminded to cherish certain things in my life like: things to keep me in self care and 

no matter what to stay kind to him. 

Sometimes this is very difficult but the shame I feel if I get angry is not worth it. 

Even when I put a restraining order on him some years ago because he was self medicating, I just joined SAne Forums for some support and waited for him.